You Know Me So Well
by monochromic
Summary: A story about young love, growing up, decision making and noticing what's been under your nose the whole time. AH, M for language and citrus infused story lines. OOC since these kids have dirty mouths, really dirty. Artsy Bella.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I don't own _Twilight_ or any of the characters mentioned. This is my first attempt at writing a story here. I'm not sure if it's going to be a short story since I'm a newbie. We'll see how it plays out. Hope you enjoy!  
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**Ch 1 BFFs & BFs**

"Can you colour my hair now?" I could hear my flighty mother Renee yelling through the door. It was too fucking early in the morning for this shit. I glanced at the clock and it read 11.30 am. Okay maybe not early, early, but I hadn't had a full 8 hours sleep since I fell asleep sometime around 6 this morning. I let out my usual grunt yell at her letting her know that I'm awake and to please, please not barge into my room for I have not cleaned it. That would only bring another screaming match.

I looked in the mirror and groaned, I was so mundanely ordinary. I had fallen asleep with my long brown hair in a messy bun, wearing my black sweat pants and favourite white shirt that was almost transparent. I remember wearing it out and a friend asked how I got my shirt so "cool" I just told her I washed it a lot no biggie. Shit like that kills me. Anyway back to my morning self-assessment, the bags under my flat brown eyes were a definite tell that I had slept late. My body clock just wasn't cutting me any slack, I too many late nights and now my face was paying for it.

"Bella! Are you up or not? I'm waiting!"

Well that sure pulled me out of my little reverie. I begrudgingly trudged through to the bathroom towards my mother dearest and started the task at hand. My life is great isn't it?

After I finished doing my mom's hair, I decided since I'm up I should have some brunch, so I made myself a delicious bowl of cereal, I was too lazy to make anything remotely gourmet today. About mid-bite I could hear my phone ringing in the distance. Great! Where the hell did I put that piece of crap I call a phone? The first logical place would be to look in my room right? I swear if it wasn't an inanimate object I swear to the Lord above that it had legs. I put it down one place it ends up somewhere completely different.

"Bella dear aren't you going to answer that?" My mom yelled from the top of the staircase.

"Yeah I would if I knew where it was!" At this point I was running through the living room like a decapitated chicken, yeah not pretty.

"You know he's only going to ring you back as soon as it stops, he knows exactly how you are with that phone of yours." And my mom was right, he would call me back, he always does.

After the first call stopped and I still hadn't successfully found my damn phone, it rang again. By now I was playing a stupid game of hot and cold. When I finally found my phone it was in my coat pocket by the front door. Why was I so forgetful?

"Hello you" I answered rather out of breath.

"Morning, or should I say afternoon?" My best friend answered back in his voice too cheery for this time of day.

"Coming over?" I asked.

"You know it, I'll be there in 2 minutes tops."

That was my best friend Edward Cullen. I've known him all my life and we have been joined at the hip since he's the boy who lives two doors down from me. We live in a small town in Washington called Forks. Not much to it, nothing but green for miles and it always rains here, I mean always. Edward and I are so pale that we don't know if we're really that colour or it's because the sun rarely hits us. I guess that's something we'll never know. Until we make it out here to somewhere where the sun shows itself on a regular basis. Here's hoping till then.

I continued eating my cereal when I heard the door open. I checked the time and Cullen as usual, was very punctual.

"Honey, I'm home!"

"In the kitchen dear" I laughed at our usual banter.

"Hairs looking lovely today Renee, liking the red, it's a good look on you." I hadn't even noticed my mom had come down new hair and all.

"Of course only you'd like the red hair." I exclaimed.

"Shut up Bells, my hair isn't red and you know it! It's more of a bronze colour wouldn't you say Renee?" He was the only person that called me Bells that I willingly allowed. Not that it ever stopped my dad.

"Yeah, yeah bronze whatever. Anyway it's my best work yet I think." My mom didn't need to colour her hair, no signs of greying just yet, she just liked to change it up a bit, I don't know why my dad Charlie the Chief of Police puts up with her, but hey to each his own I guess.

"Shush you, if I didn't have to drag you out of bed this perfection may not have happened at all missy."

"Okay mom." I said while rolling my eyes ever so lovingly at her.

"So you two, what are the plans for today? Summer break is going to end soon, you've only got a couple of weeks left."

"We know, don't remind us." I groaned in frustration.

"Cheer up Bells, we'll spend it wisely, that's if you're not going to be spending time with Jacob since he is your boyfriend and all." Edward said quietly so only I could hear.

Jacob Black. My boyfriend Jacob, not Jake, he hated that name with a passion. He and I have been together since we were 14, well he was 13 at that time, I'm about 6 months older than him, and have been together ever since. We're 16 going on 17 now. He's a bit of a touchy subject in the Swan household. It's kind of like he doesn't exist. My family and on occasion friends forget that we're even dating. He lives all the way in the reservation and doesn't get to visit my house all that often, much to my mother's dismay. She thinks it's rude he hardly ever shows his face here, but hey it's my relationship and it works.

"Of course I'll be spending time with him, and you for that matter. So what do you have planned for us?" I asked while washing out my bowl from earlier.

"I don't know, we could always just do the usual, movies, veg out. Looks like you could use a bit more sleep too." He said as he examined my ever-present eye bags.

"Sounds good to me, let me just grab a quick shower, just set up shop in my room, you know the drill."

And so I went to the bathroom and let the soothing warm water caress my tired muscles. As I was enveloped in the smell of strawberries and freesias, I wondered where the remainder of the summer break would lead me.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I don't own _Twilight_, _13 Going On 30 or Days of Our Lives_ or any of the characters mentioned. I'm so glad I was able to write something longer than the first chapter. Hope you like!**

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**Ch 2 Addictions, Sponge Bob Pee Pants & Porn**

After I finished my brief but relaxing shower, I walked into my room and found Edward lying on my bed flipping through my latest girly magazine.

"What's wrong Cullen, can't find any feasible porn at your abode?" I teasingly yelled.

"Shit Bells you sacred me!" He said jumping up, in the process dropping my magazine on the floor producing a loud thud.

"Relax, I'm only kidding, I know you only read the articles." Which was surprisingly true, Edward like myself was an avid reader, whatever it was he'd read it. He's cool like that.

"You know I don't need porn to get me by." He winked.

"Gross, too much information there buddy!" I mock punched him in the shoulder.

It was true; he didn't need any form of porn what so ever. He had been dating Tanya Denali for almost a year now. She was gorgeous, with her long legs, dancer lean body and pin straight strawberry blonde hair. She's a lovely girl, we're not the best of friends but we get along fine when we do see each other. She goes to the neighbouring high school, while Edward and I go to Forks High. After her initial suspicions of me "trying to crack onto her boyfriend" were quelled as Edward placated her with the usual "She's in a long term relationship, you don't have to worry" speech, Tanya and I got along. We even planned his surprise 17th birthday together this past June. I felt sorry for my best friend at times like these, he'd always have to explain my presence in his life to his prospective girlfriends, not that he was a man-whore or anything, he was a relationship kind of guy. Often the girl would be insanely jealous of me, and then once they broke up they would desperately try and become my best friend to get back into his good books. Edward always the gentleman apologised for this happening to me ever single time. I guess it was a fact of life, being best friends with someone who looks as good as he does. Yeah we're comfortable around each other to say this kind of shit, although he never admits to his good looks. I mean come on! The guy has the perfect height, I think he's 6 ft or something (I imagine him to grow taller, since he's still got a lot left of that to do), has unruly "bronze" sex-hair according to Jessica Stanley, a toned body, he's lean but not too muscley like his beef cake of a brother Emmett and striking green eyes. To top that all off, he has this funny little crooked smile going on, which is somewhat endearing. He's quite the catch I must say.

He was always the prettier of the two of us. I'm so glad that I decided to take a stand and told my mom I wanted to grow my hair out, after she told the hairdresser to cut my hair like Twiggy. We were about 10, cool now since I've realised she's an influential fashion icon during her peak, not so much back then. I recall that period as me being referred to as Edward's gangly little brother. I almost died when I was at the grocery store with him and Esme his mother when Mrs. Jones the town's resident lovely old granny came up to us saying how she didn't know Esme had another little boy. I must've blushed a new shade of red that day. Edward only laughed it off and suggested I put a bow in my hair. Hell to the fucking no is what I said (maybe minus the f-bomb). I was never a girly girl, much to my mother's dismay. Nothing's changed. I am my father's daughter after all.

I hadn't been paying much attention to my surroundings when I felt a pillow being thrown in my direction, effectively breaking me from my daze.

"Where were you?" Edward asked, once I came back to reality.

"Oh nowhere, just thinking about how pretty you are. And how I was sporting that awful Twiggy haircut" I replied.

"Sure you were, and I liked having a little brother for the months it took for it to grow out." He said back playfully, biting back a laugh at my expense.

"Anyway, Edward. What movie have you picked out for us this lovely afternoon?"

"Press play and you'll see." So I did.

I saw the opening credits to _13 Going On 30_. I looked at him with a quirked eyebrow at his choice of film.

"What! Don't look at me like that Bells. I know you have a penchant for 80's flashbacks, why else would you have it in your collection?"

"Yeah I know that idiot, just wondering why you chose it."

"Can't you just be happy I picked something we both agree on this time?" So I smiled and settled in our usual comfortable positions on my purple bed spread.

About halfway through the film, my eyes started feeling heavy so I took the opportunity to catch my much-needed nap.

It felt like I had been asleep for a good while when I felt a weight on my stomach. I opened my eyes and found that Edward too had fallen asleep during the movie. His head was nestled right on my stomach, nothing new there. I tried to wake him up gently because he freaks the fuck out if I were to suddenly shake him. He's a baby like that sometimes.

"Edward, wake up." I whispered.

Nothing but unintelligible murmurs was the only response I received. This was the usual scenario we'd find ourselves in when we had sleepovers, impromptu or otherwise. One, Edward Cullen was hard to wake up.

I gave up trying to wake him up, so I attempted to get out of bed. He only held onto me tighter.

"Edward. C'mon I have to pee." I said a bit more loudly.

That got him up.

"Sorry Bells go right ahead, I'll go down and see if Renee made anything edible."

As I was finishing up in the bathroom, I could hear my phone ringing. Great! I just hope I remember where I put it last. Thankfully as I was walking down the stairs Edward was waiting for me at the bottom, phone in hand.

"It's Jacob."

Of course it was I thought to myself. Edward doesn't answer his calls from my phone anymore since the last time he did it; Jacob and I had a huge fight. I guess he's really uncomfortable about having a male pick up my phone. But I mean come on it was only Edward! Its not like I let some random take my calls.

The two of them don't exactly get along, they just deal since the only thing they have in common with each other is myself. It's not like they've ever really been in the same space as each other when I'm around or otherwise so I have no idea what they're problem is. Aren't guys supposed to be the ones who get along better since there isn't any bitchiness involved? Made evident in the fact that one of my best friends is indeed a male. I mean seriously!

He handed me the phone and I promptly answered.

"Hey babe."

"Hey yourself beautiful." He said sweetly. I internally rolled my eyes at his term of endearment. I Bella Swan am anything but beautiful, I'm just plain old boring brown eyed Bella.

"What's up?"

"Oh nothing, just wondering if you wanted to come hang tonight."

"Of course I will, I'll meet you at your place?"

"Sure, Sure."

"I'll be there soon, love you."

"Love you too beautiful." And with that I heard the familiar click signalling the end of the call.

"So I take it as my cue to leave?" Edward said amongst a mouthful of chips.

"I take it Renee's attempt at cooking us something failed yet again? And you know for sure that doesn't mean you have to leave you doof."

"Uh yeah I know. How is everything between you guys anyway?" He said not quite reaching my eyes.

"Things are great, you know same as usual. How about you and Tanya?" I said with a smile.

"Yeah we're still going strong, just bummed I couldn't convince her to transfer to Forks for senior year."

"I know! Tell me about it! I tried to convince her when we spoke last time, but I guess if our school isn't running the particular subject she wants then I guess it's a moot point anyway."

"Yeah of all the years they choose not to run it, it's so fucking frustrating, I would love to have my girlfriend at the same school." I rolled my eyes, receiving a pointed glare in return.

"Don't look at me like that! You know how I feel about that subject."

And he sure as hell did. We've spoken about this so many times already. He knows I enjoy not being around my boyfriend at school, because of my "irrational" fear of getting sick of each other eventually. I think Jacob and I have lasted so long because we've always got lots of things to talk about and keep things interesting, we haven't formed a routine like most high school couples have, and for that I'm grateful. I was also afraid because if a relationship were to end wouldn't things get awkward just being in the same space as them. What if it divides the friendship group and people end up taking sides. I wouldn't want to wish that on anybody. Don't get me wrong I admire the long-term couples I know who are able to do that it's just not me.

"Well anyway, I was thinking I'll go see Tanya later so I'll leave when you're ready to go."

"'Kay, well bring the chips up and rewind to where we left off in the movie, while I bring the drinks." I playfully nudged his side.

I grabbed the drinks and set off to my room. I walked in to find Edward propped up on his side of my bed, while I gracefully (who am I kidding I fell face first onto it after I set the drinks aside).

"Ever the klutz."

"Shut up Pornward!"

"I told you I don't need that shit."

"Yeah but it doesn't mean that you don't watch it secretly for recreational purposes, don't lie to me." I squealed as he started his tickle-fest on me.

"You make it sound like a drug."

"Yeah, well people can get addicted to that shit can't they?" I said struggling to breathe.

He wriggled his eyebrows "And you know this because …"

"Because of my mad _Google _skills, quit your inferring Cullen!"

"Ah yes your "_mad_ _Google_ skills" how could I forget, besides I could never lie to you Belly Bells."" I swear I felt him dig between ribs. "Why are you looking up porn addiction anyway? He asked between laughs.

"You know me I _Google_ anything and everything! I probably discovered it through one of my frequent journeys through _Wikipedia _one click always leads to another_._"

"That is true." The bastard tickled me harder.

"Stop it or I'll pee! I swear to God I will!"

"I don't care it's your bed." He yelled while tickling me harder.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen if you lay another finger on me I'll, I'll …"

"I'll, I'll what Swan?" He said smugly while continuing his assault.

"I'll key your precious Volvo is what!" I yelled.

He stopped. That sure got his attention - that and the fact that someone simultaneously appeared at my door shaking their head at our usual antics.

"Cullen, get your hands off my baby girl. Don't you touch her, I still haven't hung my gun belt up." Said the gruff voice of my daddy dearest.

"Chief, you know it wasn't like that, and besides she threatened to key my Volvo. Who does that?"

"Yeah, well you'll get what's coming to you if you piss her off. Haven't you learnt anything over the years boy?"

"Apparently not sir." Edward said with a hint of a smirk in his voice.

I took this opportunity to glare at my best friend and got up to give my dad a hello kiss.

"I'll make you a sandwich then you can go sleep."

"Thanks Bells. I take it your mom's experimenting didn't go well today, where is she by the way?" He knowingly said.

"I'm guessing she's at my house, probably watching soap's with mom."

"Ah yes, Days of Our Wives or something right?"

"No dad, I think its _Days of Our Lives_." I chuckled.

"Huh, well I think it should be called that since that's all our wives do all day." He mumbled under his breath.

"Good one Chief! Edward laughed while high-fiving my dad.

"Don't let mom or Esme catch you saying stuff like that, they'll give you hell for it, you know they do other things apart from watching soaps all day."

"Don't I know it Bells." Dad smiled. "Don't I know it." With that he went to his room to change out of his uniform.

"Come keep me company in the kitchen, I'll fix us something too." I said while lugging myself out of bed. "The movie's a moot point now, so we'll finish it again later."

"Ay Ay Captain!" He saluted.

I just rolled my eyes and turned for the door. Remembering the time I almost did pee myself at the hilarity of my mother and _Sponge Bob Square Pants …_

_I was in the living room with my mom while she was reading the paper, she was reading the headline out loud to me, I was half paying attention to what she was saying when I heard her say "Spoongi Boob". I peaked over her shoulder and had no idea what she was reading. _

"_Mom, what article are you reading from?" I asked perplexed._

_She looked at me seriously and pointed to an article that mentioned Sponge Bob and a platypus._

_I couldn't stop laughing to the point of serious tear leakage. I finally managed to get a hold of myself to ask her to repeat it._

"_Mom what was that again?"_

_To which she replied seriously "Spoongi Boob"_

_I asked if I could borrow the paper, ran to Edward's house and relayed the whole story to him, garnering tears of his own at my mother's hilarity. We then proceeded to walk back to my place to a very confused looking Renee._

"_Honey what's so funny?"_

"_Mom its SPONGE BOB not Spoongi Boob!"_

"_Oh! OH! How stupid must I have sounded." She said laughing while squinting at the paper._

_My mom is anything but stupid; we just found out after that day that she would need a pair of reading glasses._

After we finished eating my amazing turkey, mustard and rocket sandwiches on toasted sourdough we both love so dearly we left the house each going to our respective partners.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: I still don't own Twilight and the characters mentioned, If I did I would've been at the black carpet premiere of _Eclipse_ yesterday *sigh. Anyways this is just an introduction to Bella and Jacob's relationship. I'm team Edward all the way so I find it hard to write anything lengthy when it comes to BXJB. Hope you enjoy! Let me know if you do :)**

**Cheers!**

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**Ch 3 He's Sort of Beautiful**

While I was driving towards Jacob's house I couldn't help but think about senior year. I was nervous as hell thinking about my last year in high school. I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do afterwards and these thoughts always left me anxious. Jacob wasn't planning on going to college, he just wanted to continuing working for his dad Billy at their garage as a mechanic. He was always good at what he did there, and it was handy having a boyfriend who could fix your car whenever it was being difficult. I would know since he would be the one I'd send my truck to on the odd occasion it needed tending.

My truck. My rusty red coloured truck. It was something I was incredibly proud of. I got it last year for my 16th birthday as a gift from my parents. My dad picked it out himself. He said it was perfect for me. It is by no means a new car, its what I affectionately call vintage. Upon hearing this I knew my dad had made the right decision, I love collecting vintage things. There's just something about knowing an object has a history especially if it's much older than you are.

I eventually saw the familiar red house that belonged to Jacob and his dad Billy and pulled into their driveway. He must've seen my headlights shine through his windows because I was greeted with him casually leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, a cheesy smile gracing his beautiful face. I couldn't help but smile a huge smile back.

My God was he something to look at! He was barefoot wearing a pair of basketball shorts and a black shirt and you could clearly see that his body was pretty well defined for a 16-year-old boy. He was sill beautiful. His body has changed so much from when we started dating. He was a tiny bit shorter than me and didn't have as much meat on him as he currently does. Staring at him now you could definitely see he grew taller at least 5"9, to my 5"7. He had tan skin, black hair that was cut in a choppy sort of style with beautiful dark brown eyes, full of depth unlike my own flat brown ones. I couldn't help but sigh in contentment.

"Come here beautiful." He said extending his arms out to me.

I went into them willingly and was greeted with his usual kiss on the cheek before he pecked me chastely on the lips. This was just one of the things I loved about him, he wasn't one of those guys who would immediately ram their tongue down your throat as an appropriate greeting. Alice Brandon my female best friend always teased us saying we were such an old married couple. I guess she was just used to the way we were around each other. Being with him has always been as easy as breathing.

"Hi." I replied meekly. "What have you been up to?" We were now walking to the living room where the TV was on in the background.

"Oh nothing I was just watching some random shit, I don't even know what kind of crap it was. Some stupid reality show with way too many airheads on it." He chuckled.

"I'm glad to know they don't appeal to you." I replied with a quirked eyebrow.

"You know I love my smart cookie." He said nuzzling the side of my neck.

He always referred to me as his smart cookie. Jacob loves that I read books, go to art galleries and museums rather than spending the day at the mall (unless I was accompanying Alice on one of her frequent shopping trips). He's never tried to change who I am and for that I'm thankful.

"What did you get up to today?"

"Nothing just the usual, woke up kinda late again and coloured my mom's hair – its red now by the way, then hung out with Edward for a bit. Same old." I said snuggling further in his chest.

"How is your mom anyway?" He said while wriggling his eyebrows.

I playfully punched him on the arm. "Gross I know you think my mom's hot but quit reminding me!" I rolled my eyes at him. I knew he thought my mom was hot; we kind of looked the same except she has softer feminine features than I do, we have the same colour of hair, well that was the case until she started colouring it. I think it's just another phase she's going through. Mom also has amazing blue eyes, I unfortunately inherited my dad's brown ones.

"Shut up you! You know I only admire her beauty because I can't help but imagine what you'll look like when you get to be her age. Damn son!" Ah Jacob's usual defence line when it came to ogling my mom.

"Yeah but it doesn't change the fact that it freaks me the fuck out!" I shuddered. "Besides you could go have a look yourself if you came over more often. Not that I don't mind coming here, it would be nice for a change if you came to me every so often."

"Baby you know how I feel about that, besides you know my dad has the car most of the time. What am I gonna do ride the bus?" He scoffed. I mentally rolled my eyes at him; he knew I used to ride the bus down to his place to see him before I got my licence. I knew exactly how he felt about coming to my house. I remember when he came over for the first time as my boyfriend and my dad wasn't as welcoming as he could've been. Looking back at it now, I totally understand. I guess its hard seeing your 14 year old bringing a guy home to "meet the parents". Ever since then Jacob's visits would become less frequent. I ended up making my way to him these days. He would only come over on the off chance I had the place to myself.

"Yeah I know, its just it would be nice you know?"

He tried to placate me by kissing me on the temple. "Can we just let it go? We're here together now so that's all that matters. How's Cullen anyway? Still with his girl?"

"Yeah they're still dating, they're pretty cute together!" I mentioned.

"Not as cute as us beautiful." He then leaned in the give me a kiss on the lips. Next thing you know we were engaged in a pretty heavy make-out session on the couch. I was getting really breathless.

"What time does Billy get in tonight?" By this point I was panting, that boy just wouldn't let me up for air.

Jacob took a glance at the clock on the wall and said we should be expecting him within the next hour or so. I was happy by all means to continue the heavy make-out session but wasn't comfortable doing so on the couch just in case Billy decided to come home early. I think Jacob must've sensed this because he picked me up and carried me over his shoulder to his room. I couldn't suppress the squeals from coming out while I was hanging upside down.

"Put me down now Jacob Black or I'll junk punch you!"

"Okay whatever you say beautiful. And I know you wouldn't hurt the goods" He winked then proceeded to lay me down onto his bed.

"Not unless you seriously and I mean seriously piss me off. That's when you know you're gonna have to protect your "goods"." I told him honestly. By this point Jacob was now on top and kissing me with gusto. His hand had sneakily made its way up my shirt and was dangerously close to reaching the Promised Land - destination Bella's boobs. And bingo! Jacob Black was in. He lifted up my shirt and he had that hungry look in his eyes, and I knew what was coming next. While this was happening I was silently thanking God that I hadn't done my laundry and only had the black lacy number as the only clean option to wear today, about to reap the benefits of said bra.

"Ugh baby you're killing me with this! I want it off now!" He sounded so hot when he was being all alpha male. I proceeded to meet his request by taking my shirt off and unclasped my bra. Just when he was about to make a move my phone started buzzing. I'm so glad I managed not to forget it before I left the house, well that is after Edward reminded me. I fished my pocket for the interrupter and answered it without checking the caller I.D.

"Hello"

"Bella dear, I just got home from the Cullen's place, just wondering where you are and what time you'll be home?"

"Hey ma, I'm just over at Jacob's house, I'll be home soon. Did you want me to pick up something for dinner while I'm out?" I hope she agrees because a) I wasn't in the mood to cook when I got home and b) I didn't want her to _experiment_ again.

"Sure honey that's a great idea."

"What do you feel like eating for dinner?"

"Just pick up some pizza so it won't be too much trouble."

"'Kay, I'll see you in a bit. Love you mom."

"Love you too sweetie."

Jacob started to resume his assault on my chest before I decided I really should get going so I could pick up the pizza and make it home for a reasonable dinnertime.

"Aww baby c'mon we were just getting started." I hated it when he pulled out the sad puppy dog eyes on me.

"Babe don't look at me like that, you know I had to go home soon anyway, and besides you're dad will be coming home soon, and you know how I feel about being in your room when he's here."

"You know he doesn't care if you're in here."

"Yeah but I _do_ care. I don't want him to think badly of me. Just drop it okay!"

"Sorry beautiful." He genuinely looked remorseful so I leaned in and gave he a goodbye kiss with a bit of tongue just for reassurance. I pulled away before it got anymore heated.

"Will I see you tomorrow at least?" He asked hopefully.

"I'll see what I have lined up then I'll ring you okay?"

"Sounds good to me."

"Walk me out front?"

"Do I have to? Its fucking freezing out and its nice and toasty in here."

"Fine I'll just see myself out. Night." I huffed with annoyance.

"Later beautiful, love you."

"Yeah." And with that I made it out of his house to my rusty old truck, ready to head out to Sam's to pick up dinner.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Twilight and all the characters mentioned still don't belong to me.**

**Happy reading! :)**

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**Ch4 Code Blues**

I hated leaving Jacob's house angry, sparking my feeling guilty about not telling him "I love you" in return. I just couldn't get over the fact that he wouldn't even walk me out to my truck. Something as easy as that and he couldn't even fucking do it. Maybe I'm over reacting due to my state of _rag _as of this morning, but I can't help but think this shit isn't right. I mean I fucking _drive_ the distance to go see him but he can't even _walk_ me out of his fucking house. Whatever.

It was like he could hear my inner bitching towards him when I heard my phone announce I received a new text message. Luckily I had pulled in front of Sam's already so I put my truck in park and glanced at what he had to say.

_Babe, you left in a shitty mood. _

_Did I do something to upset you? _

_Call me later k. Love you xoxo_

Now I was really pissed. I felt like junk punching him right now. Could he really be that oblivious? I know that he and I have this relationship that's heaps chilled, and I like being able to still be somewhat independent, like ensuring I pay my share during our dates, stuff like that. But c'mon! Maybe I'm being overly hormonal, I'm sounding like such a bitch right now!

I opened the door to Sam's and saw that his wife Emily was behind the counter tonight. They seriously had the best pizza in town and I was immensely glad I didn't have to travel very far to eat a gourmet standard piece of heaven. It was a quaint little establishment that had a few indoor tables and some seating outside for the odd occasion the sun decided to show. The décor was a little kitsch but I loved it. It was what made Sam's perfect to me. The mismatched seats and the combination of round and square tables gave the place character. I loved going to op-shops and antique stores with Emily to help find furniture and other knick-knacks for the place. She spruced it up so it was done tastefully and not tacky like some other places I've been to.

"Hey Bella! What can I get for you tonight?"

"Hey Em, umm … could I grab a large pepperoni and a large mushroom with bocconcini, tomato and basil, both on tomato bases please."

The smell of freshly cooking pizza was making me realise how hungry I was getting, my stomach was letting me know this as it grumbled so loud. I blushed brighter than the base Sam was currently applying to my pizza. I couldn't wait till I got home.

"Someone's hungry."

"Yeah I guess I am, just didn't realise how much I was though."

"While you're waiting have a look at the new frame I found at the op-shop on Gordon St. in Port Angeles."

"You went without me!"

"Sorry sweetie, it was a last minute decision, I just thought I'd hit it up since Sam and I were in town to pick up some things for the store. You know if I had planned it you would be the first person I'd call."

"Yeah I know Em, it's just that I'm pretty bummed I missed out."

"I'll be right back I'm just gonna grab it from the back."

"Yeah no worries."

I sat in one of the chairs I helped pick out. It was made out of oak with a dark finish and had a beautiful royal blue fabric over the cushion. As soon as I saw it I knew it just had to be in Sam's. It was perfect.

I was pulled from my reverie as Em approached me with a beautiful gilded frame in her hands. It was about the size of an A4 piece of paper. It wasn't overly embellished; instead it was just simple but still amazing.

"Do you know what you're going to put into it and where you'll hang it?"

"I was thinking you'd help me of course, I was bound to call you anyway, you just made it easier by showing up." She said with a knowing smile.

"Of course I'll help you! I'll have a think about it and get back to you soon with any ideas I come up with. I'm so excited about this project!"

"Can't wait to see what your _vision_ is for this piece!"

"Bella your orders up." Boomed Sam from the kitchen.

"Hey Sam!"

"Hey yourself short stuff."

"You know as well as I do that Alice is way smaller than I am."

"Yeah but she isn't here is she? So technically that makes you the only shorty around for now." That statement just made me miss her more. She was spending her vacation in New York with her parents. God only knows how much shopping she's already had shipped over here to her house.

"Whatever. What's the damage I owe?"

"A twenty and tell your mom and pops we said hi."

"Will do, and I'll get back to you as soon as an idea strikes me."

"Could you please refrain from doing it past midnight, some of us do sleep you know."

"How many times do I have to apologise for that! It was one time geez." I said while playfully rolling my eyes at them "Anyway later guys, have a good night!"

"You too shorty. Enjoy!"

And with that I was off.

* * *

During the 15 minute drive home, I had to restrain myself from going above the speed limit, I was that hungry. I was tempted, oh so tempted to suddenly gain a lead foot. Being a speed demon is something Bella Swan is not, as well as being the Chief's daughter and all that shit. Plus I don't think my truck could handle it anyway. I knew I could've just eaten a slice before I got home, but I really wanted to eat dinner together as a family. It was dad's night off so I wouldn't miss this opportunity for anything. It was just one of the things that you had to deal with having a family member in the police force. I was proud of my daddy nonetheless.

"Mom, dad I'm home." I walked into the house and passed my dad watching a game on the flat screen giving him a kiss on the cheek. I smiled brightly at the dinner table where my mom set it up nicely even though it was just pizza. She even had a vase of fresh roses from our garden in the centre. I thought I would go to the kitchen to put the pizza on serving plates rather than eating from the box. That's where I found my mom pulling out some weird concoction from the fridge that I assumed was dessert. It looked like a cross between a pie and a cake.

Shit! I groaned to myself. I forgot to pick up dessert or any form of sugar, particularly chocolate in my haste to get home. I needed it so badly; I was craving anything and everything that had sugar. Damn PMS! Why today? Why? I shook it off and gave my mom a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi sweetie, I didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah I guess you were too busy concentrating on your new creation. What is it anyway?"

"It's pie crust and I poured chocolate cake mix into it and chucked it in the oven. I couldn't find the round cake tin and BAM! It just came to me to combine the two."

"Hope it's edible, at least it isn't burnt." I said under my breath.

"I heard that missy! Besides Esme sent me some of her homemade pistachio ice cream, it's in the freezer."

"My favourite!"

"Of course silly, she made it especially for you." I thanked God silently for saving me from enduring the pie cake without a back up. I'll be sure to thank Esme for it tomorrow.

Dinner was a pleasant affair. I loved seeing the love radiating from both my parents. It was amazing that they had been together since they were 17 (mom having me at 19) and were still able to look at each other with new eyes each day was really beautiful. This is something I always wanted for my future. I'm not saying I don't love Jacob, I just don't know if he's the one I see myself marrying and having what my parents and Carlisle and Esme have. I wasn't naïve in thinking that we should settle down after I graduated from high school. I wanted to experience life before I made any serious commitment decisions. I was just lucky enough to be around couples that were so fortunate to have felt the connection with and found their other half so young.

"Dessert time!" My mother bounced in her seat. At this point she could've easily put Alice to shame. "Stay put and I'll bring it out to you."

"Just eat it Bells, you know it'll make her happy."

"Of course I will dad, I'm not that heartless." The next thing I knew I had a slice of pie cake sitting in front of me with a huge serving of Esme's pistachio ice cream on the side all for me. I was literally salivating at the sight. Here goes nothing; I spooned a bit of mom's experiment into my mouth.

I was instantly met with the crunchy texture of the pie crust, mixed with a heavy filling of the cake mix. It was certainly interesting, and not as_ exotic _as I had anticipated. Luckily she used pre-prepared stuff with instructions otherwise this dessert made from scratch may have resulted in a burnt kitchen and God knows what else. I wonder what it would taste like had she used brownie mix instead. I drooled at the thought.

"It actually tastes pretty great mom." My dad beamed at me.

"Thanks honey I tried."

"It's lovely Renee." Cue the "Aww's" as dad gave mom a kiss.

"Okay folks, I'm off to my room now. Night."

"Night Bells."

"Night honey."

I couldn't wait to go up to my room and start thinking of ideas for what to put into Em's new frame. I grabbed my Moleskine from my desk and proceeded to sketch out ideas, an hour must've passed when I heard a curious _thump_. I decided to investigate so I opened my door.

_Bad move Bella, you should've ignored it! _My brained screamed at me. Just then I heard my mom moaning and heard her scream my dad's name out. I think they were trying to keep quiet but they fucking failed. I felt like throwing up. All the ice cream I enjoyed from dessert wasted.

I closed my door quickly and ran to find my phone to issue a Code Blue situation in the Swan residence, a definite friendship emergency! I also found my iPod in the hopes of drowning out the noise.

I typed out:

_Code Blue at the Swan residence! _

_I repeat CODE BLUE!_

And hit send.

Less than a minute later my phone rang.

"Hey I didn't disturb you did I? If you're with Tanya still I totally understand."

"Nah I'm at home now, what's up? You okay? I got a code blue alert, must be serious."

"I'm gonna walk over and I'll let you know all about it."

"Don't be silly." I could imagine him rolling his eyes at me " I'm picking you up, give me 5 minutes." With that he hung up.

I took the time to write a post-it to my parents saying I was spending the night at the Cullen's, and stuck it on my bedroom door as I walked down the stairs iPod volume at it's highest. I went into the kitchen to retrieve the left over pizza then sat on the bottom step near the front door and waited. My phone buzzed.

_Hey, I'm outside your door now_

Thank God! I opened it to a pyjama clad Edward ready to take the pizza box off my hands. As we walked to his house he figured since I had my iPod set to it's loudest when he found me and the disgusted look on my face that my parents were indeed doing the nasty and knew I would be sleeping over.

Esme and Carlisle were out for the night so it was only the two of us. I went straight to his pantry to find Esme's stash of chocolate.

"You have your period don't you?"

"Yeah it fucking sucks, kill me now."

"I'll get the pain killers for you, just go up to my room and get settled."

"You're the best! Oh and can you bring me up some more of your mom's ice cream in the big bowl pretty please."

"Of course."

I walked up to Edward's room and I was always amazed at his wall, it was full of books and music and I always got lost in his collection I helped build over the years. It even housed some of my things. I went straight to his adjoining bathroom to pee and was instantly glad to see that Esme had restocked the good night pads for me in his cabinet.

When I got out of the bathroom Edward was already back with a big bowl of pistachio goodness, two spoons, my glass of water and painkillers, just what I needed after my shitty afternoon. After consuming what seemed like half my body weight in ice cream while relaying the events that transpired at Jacob's house we went to get ready for bed.

"No funny business Cullen. I mean it." I said in my dead serious, don't-fuck-with-me tone.

"No funny business." He saluted "Like I'd try again after last time!"

* * *

**I wonder what funny business they were referring to ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: S. Meyer still owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**I finally got my first review, so a big thank-you goes out to _PaperDreamsable_! I really do appreciate it and will try to make a habit of replying to any I'll receive in future.**

**Happy reading! **

**Cheers x**

**

* * *

**

**Previously …**

"_No funny business Cullen. I mean it." I said dead seriously._

"_No funny business." He saluted "Like I'd try again after last time!"_

_

* * *

_

**Ch 5 Sleepovers & Sex Talk**

"My virginity better be intact in the morning." I deadpanned.

"Good to know you're still one, but really Swan, really? As if I'd take advantage of my virginal best friend. I'm glad you trust me so much." He said pretending to be hurt.

"Anyway on a more serious note, you fucking know better than to pull a prank on me when I'm sleeping, you prick! Do you know how hard it was to get that shit out of my hair!" I huffed with annoyance.

Edward thought it would be a fucking hilarious idea to put a whole tube of toothpaste in my hair when we were 9. I still had long hair back then as it was before the Twiggy incident. I'm such a restless sleeper that I end up waking with a tangled birds nest on my head. That combined with the toothpaste did a real number on my hair. Since then Edward's made a promise to never ever do it again after witnessing me cry my eyes out to his mom that morning. She took away his Gameboy for a week.

"Well if it helps I thought it was okay since I knew at least it would wash off. I didn't know it would tangle your hair even more."

"Whatever Cullen. Can you put the music on louder than we usually do, I won't be surprised if we could hear my parents from here. Its gross." Edward and I shared the habit of sleeping with music playing in the background; it was relaxing and helped sleep come easily.

"Sure. Why are you so freaked about hearing your parents have sex? It's not like they're old or anything. My mom and dad are older than them and it's not like I don't know they still do it."

"Aren't you the least bit grossed out?"

"Yeah initially, but I mean c'mon Bells I'd still like to think I'd still be fucking when I get to be their age."

"Okay eww, the mental images are excruciatingly painful. Stop now!" I don't know how I was going to face my parents in the morning. Awkward turtle! "Can we please change the subject?"

"I can't believe your boyfriend _didn't_, no _couldn't _even walk you out to your goddamn truck Bells! What the fuck?" I hoped for a subject change but not this. I could feel the anger rolling off of him now.

"Can we talk about this in the morning please Edward."

"No. You know you would've called me about it anyway had we not had a code blue. Why are you still with him Bells? He's not good for you."

I sighed looking away from him and fidgeted with my hands. "I love him, he'll change. It's going to work out I know it is."

"Just promise me you'll be careful okay. I know you can make your own decisions, you're a smart girl."

"Promise. So speaking of the 'L' word have you said it to Tanya yet?" I said hoping to shift the conversation away from my own relationship.

"Bells we haven't been dating that long. I'll say it when I'm ready. I don't want to rush anything."

"Dude, you've been dating for what? 7 months now. Just don't toy with her. I know she really likes you."

"Yeah and I care about her a lot, I just … I just want to be sure you know?"

"I totally understand, I think it happened too quickly between Jacob and I, but it worked out for us, we're still together, he didn't run away from my declaration."

"Since when did you grow a vagina Cullen?" I joked.

"Ha ha very funny, you of all people shouldn't criticize my mad DNM skills, you're my diary and I get to tell you everything. Okay that _did_ kind of sound like a pussy line but we should probably get to sleep now, Emmett, Rose and Scarlett are coming home to visit tomorrow."

"You can't say things like that and expect me to sleep immediately." I was so excited at the prospect of seeing Emmett, Rosalie and Scarlett in the morning I knew for sure it would be hard for me to sleep. I missed the big oaf so much since they were living in Seattle for college. Edward was turning down his gold comforter for me to crawl into so I took the opportunity to masterfully take off the lace contraption I called a bra under my shirt and placed it on the bedside table. I hated sleeping in my bra; it felt like my boobs couldn't breathe.

"We're you hoping to get lucky with Black this afternoon." He nodded towards my bra.

"No, you idiot, I hadn't done my laundry. It was the only clean one I had left. Blame Alice she bought it for me, I would never buy anything like this." I blushed.

"Well you're blushing kiddo, you're face always betrays you." He laughed.

"Really, you want to talk about this? You know I haven't done it yet, quit being so over protective. It's not like I ask about your sex life Cullen." I said rather defensively.

"For your information I haven't fucked Tanya, so there's really nothing to tell."

"What? Really? I could've sworn you guys have already. I mean she kind of hinted that you did." He looked at me with confusion in his eyes.

"What she say?"

"Nothing just that some random chick was like saying you look like you'd be a good lay, and Tanya just winked and nodded. Hey don't get mad at her, I'm guessing she was just trying to stake her claim on you or whatever to the other bitch, what was she gonna do say no?"

I knew from experience that it was better to hint that you weren't a virgin to stop copping flack from other people. Teenagers can be so fucking cruel these days. I did it so that Jacob wouldn't get shit from his friends. I let them make their own assumptions and to believe whatever they wanted to believe. Jacob and I hadn't gone passed third base. I just wasn't ready to give him that. I was still thinking if I wanted to save it for marriage. I also had this huge fear of getting pregnant young. Mainly because I wasn't sure if I saw a future with him like that, I was more of a take it each day as it comes kind of girl. I hadn't even told Edward this fear of mine.

"Sorry, it's just you know how much I value trust with someone. I didn't know it was bothering her or anything."

"Don't sweat it, I bet she loves a guy who isn't just looking to fuck. I know I find that an admirable quality. Enough sex speak I'm getting sleepy. Good night."

"Night Bells."

And with a kiss on my forehead I settled into a deep slumber.

* * *

Morning came too soon as I woke to the sound of banging on Edward's bedroom door. I took this opportunity to put my bra back on while he was still asleep. I didn't want to give an impromptu peep show if the nips decided to come out and play.

"Eddie! Wake up I didn't drive all the goddamn way here for nothing, come give you're big bro a man hug!" Emmett. I smiled to myself. I took this as a cue to wake Edward up gently, knowing that Emmett's booming voice would surely put him in a funk this morning.

"Edward come on wake up, you're brothers home." I gently nudged his shoulder.

"Mmmm it's Sunday mom, 5 more minutes. Go away."

I decided he needed to be poked in the ribs so the waking process could be speeded up. I was desperate see his brother. "I am not your mother Edward and will not go away. Please wake up you're brother's home and I wanna see him, come on already!"

"Shit Bells forgot you were here." He said with one eye opened from under the covers.

"Good morning to you too." I pushed his side, while the banging on the door continued outside.

"I know you're here Eddie wake the fuck up, mom said we can't eat breakfast until you get your pussy ass down there. That means Scarlett can't eat either!"

"Fuckhead's using my niece to blackmail me again!" He groaned in frustration.

Scarlett Lily Cullen was Emmett and Rose's 1-year-old daughter. She was a surprise to us all. Emmett and Rosalie Hale had been together since they were 16 and were both 22 now. We found out she was pregnant when Emmett called her baby mama one night during a visit home from college. Rose was livid, she didn't want them to find out like that. But there's no stopping Emmett and his big mouth, I guess he was just too excited. It's so hard with them being so far from Forks, Esme wishes they lived closer so she could spoil her rotten. Rose's parents moved to Seattle to be closer to them and to help out, and she ended up deferring from college to take care of Scarlett for the time being.

"Hurry! Let's go I wanna give Scarlett a big kiss!" I pulled him out of bed.

"Quit banging on my door Emmett, I'm up, chill the fuck down, you'll get fed." With that he opened his door to an amused looking Emmett.

"Well, well. If it isn't Joey and Dawson." He said wriggling his eyebrows.

"Fuck off Emmett, its just Bella."

I proceeded to jump on top of Emmett and gave him a huge hug.

"I missed you big brother! Don't wait so long to come and visit. I miss the three of you." I said with a hint of sadness.

"Cheer up Baby Bell, you'll see us more if you come to UW next year."

"I still haven't made a decision on where I'll be going … so yeah."

"Anyways, kiddies lets go down I'm starving."

"When are you not in that state Emm." And off to breakfast we went.

* * *

**EPOV**

I woke up to a strange poking in my side. Great mom was in my room to get me out of bed. It was fucking Sunday and I wanted to sleep in.

"I am not your mother Edward and will not go away. Please wake up you're brother's home and I wanna see him, come on already!" Bella. I completely forgot she stayed the night. I guess it wasn't the extra blanket mom left for me that made my bed nice and toasty.

"Shit Bells forgot you were here." I said my voice heavy with sleep.

"Good morning to you too." She said amused while nudging my side.

"I know you're here Eddie wake the fuck up, mom said we can't eat breakfast until you get your pussy ass down there. That means Scarlett can't eat either!"

"Fuckhead's using my niece to blackmail me again!" I groaned in frustration. Scarlett. She was the reason why I didn't want to have sex with Tanya until I was sure about where we were going. I saw that you're whole life could change suddenly and there was no turning back. I wanted to make certain that I would share the experience with someone who I could see a future with. That and the fact that I was still a virgin. Sure I received a few hand jobs and the occasional head job but I was still a virgin and waiting for the right girl. Bella didn't know any of this. It's not like it was an easy topic to bring up, she already made her assumptions, and I guess Tanya hinting that we had fucked solidified it for her.

Back to my brother, I surely missed the fuck face, his lovely girlfriend and my beautiful niece, but c'mon is that anyway to be woken up on a goddamn Sunday morning, dude needs to learn respect.

Bella eventually had to pull me out of bed so she could give Scarlett a kiss so I made my way to open the door, only to be met with my giant oaf of a brother. At 22 you would think he would grow the fuck up but I guess not. He was still as annoying as ever, but I love the guy, although, I hated with a passion his constant "Joey and Dawson" jabs. I mean Bella and I have known each other since we were babies, she's my best friend. I shook these crazy thoughts off and made my way down the stairs with Bella and Emmett following behind.

I was instantly greeted with the smell of freshly cooked bacon, pancakes and hash browns, as I walked into the dining room I could see there was also fruit and yoghurt out as well and copious amounts of buttered toast. With the amount of food my mom makes I'm surprised I'm not huge.

"Morning mom." I kissed her on the cheek.

"Morning sweetie, hope you didn't miss your father and I too much while we were gone."

"Bella stayed over last night so I wasn't too lonely."

"Why didn't you say so! where is she?" As if on cue Bella came into the dining room on Emmett's back giggling at something funny he must've said.

"Morning Bella, hope you liked the ice cream I sent home for you dear."

"Morning! I was going to stop by today to say thank-you for that." Then she whispered something into my mom's ear, getting a knowing smile in return from her.

"Hey dad."

"Morning son, Bella."

"Morning Carlisle." He kissed her on the cheek as she took her seat next to mine.

"So what brings you here?"

"Uhh … I'd rather not say." Bella blushed while I smirked in her direction.

"Okay then." He just continued to read his medical journal.

"Honey, just let the girl eat her breakfast." My mom knew what was up. Any bet I reckon Renee already informed her on the goings on of last night.

With that I turned to Bella and whispered in her about what secrets she was telling my mom.

"Nothing just told her that she was a god send because I was craving sugar, you know 'cause of my period."

"Ah, secret women's business." I said knowingly.

"Does that make you a chick because you're in on it too?"

"Shut up! You know what I mean, I just lend a sympathetic ear when it's that time of the month." I pinched her side, causing her to jump in her seat.

"Quit with the hanky-panky kids, hands where I can see 'em! And for the love of God not in front of my baby girl." Emmett bellowed from across the table just as Rosalie walked into the room with my goddaughter on her hip.

"There's my precious monkey." Bella cooed while giving her big kisses on her cheeks and kissing Rose's too. "Morning Rose I missed you." Rosalie was like a big sister to Bella. She was really cool, definitely someone to put Emmett in his place. She didn't take any of his bullshit. That's when I knew she was the right girl for my brother. They balanced each other out.

"Morning all, I missed you too Bella, I have to take you and Alice out soon for a girl's day out."

Bella replied somberly "Alice is on vacation in New York with her parents for the summer." I could tell she missed the pixie, I missed her too and I know for sure my best friend, her boyfriend Jasper Whitlock wasn't coping with it to well either.

"Well I guess it'll just be the two of us till next time. Well two and a half if we count Scarlett." Rose said trying to cheer her up.

"Just call her or Skype her when you get home Bells." I whispered in her ear. That suggestion brought a smile to her face. I never wanted to see her upset.

After the loud, rambunctious affair that was breakfast with the Cullen's, Bella felt it was safe to head home, so I walked her over to her house. I still couldn't believe what she told me the other night; the fuckhead that she calls a boyfriend wouldn't even walk her to her fucking truck. It's not like he had to walk her to fucking Seattle. That kid's a shit head and a half who has no idea how to treat his girl. I only put up with his bullshit because Bella insists she loves the guy and that he makes her happy. So I'm letting it slide. For now.

* * *

**Just thought I'd have a shot at writing an EPOV. Now you all know how he feels about Jacob "I-don't-like-to-be-called-Jake" Black. Hope you all enjoyed reading!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: ****S. Meyer still owns**_** Twilight**_** and it's characters. Hopefully Bella doesn't walk in on her parents continuing their shenanigans from last night.**

**Hope you enjoy! Happy reading!**

**Cheers x  
**

**

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**Ch 6 Girl friends & Bed Heads**

I unlocked my front door with caution, unaware of what I might find. Thank God it was just mom, I guess my dad had already been called into work. She smiled at me with a sheepish grin.

"I got your note when I was going to wake you up for breakfast."

"Yeah, just thought I'd hang with Edward last night."

"Sorry if we uhh … if we disturbed you last night." Mom blushed.

"Mom! Are we really going to talk about this? Its fine really!" I hoped she changed the subject and fast. With my mom there was no telling what would come out her mouth next. Nothing was sacred with her it seemed.

"It's a normal thing honey, I hope you're being safe at all times! You're still on your birth control pills right?" Great, at least she wasn't dishing a detailed account of what exactly did go down last night. I'm guessing she was saving that for her daily chat with Esme.

"Yes, mom. And anyway you don't have to worry, it's not like I'm having sex. So yeah …"

"Good for you honey! But you know you can always come and talk to me about these things, I was young once too. What did you and Edward get up to last night?"

"We just ate a shitload of ice cream and talked till I got tired, you know the usual."

"I don't understand why the both of you won't start dating each other. You compliment one another very nicely."

"Oh come off it mom, can you really see us being together? He's my best friend! We just don't see each other like that. No way!" I looked at her incredulously. "I mean really?"

"Just think about it honey." With that she kissed me on the forehead and walked out to our backyard ready to work on her roses. What the hell was that supposed to mean?

* * *

It was two in afternoon and I was sprawled on my bed reading a book. When I decided it was time to give my best friend a call. Jacob still hadn't messaged me or called, guessing he was hanging out with his friend Leah or the guys from the rez.

I picked up my phone, but just as I was about to dial it rang in my hand. I glanced at the caller I.D and couldn't help but smile.

_Alice._

Alice, my raven-haired pixie of a friend, she was tiny at only 5'2". She was always impeccably put together and had amazing energy. Alice wasn't nicknamed pixie for nothing. I swear the first I had met her I thought she had eaten an entire packet of pixie sticks, she just wouldn't stop bouncing. My first encounter with Mary Alice Brandon had been when we were 5 at the local playground. I was sitting on a swing being pushed by Edward, well he tried to at least, when she came up to us and said that we were going to be great friends. I was a little shocked at her forwardness but soon found out that she was right. We hadn't left each other's sides after that, well that is until she went on vacation with her parents on the odd occasion.

"_Allie! I was just going to ring you, I literally had my phone in my hand ready to dial."_

"_I'm psychic what can I say?"_

"_Ha ha very funny."_

"_You know I'm right!"_

"_How've you been? I miss you"_

"_I've been great, I miss you too! I've done lots of shopping, what else is new! I've had some things shipped over to my house already, there's a few things I got for you too in there somewhere." I rolled my eyes. I knew she was bound to do that sooner or later. She just confirmed my earlier suspicions._

"_Bella Swan I can feel you rolling your eyes at me. You stop that right now! So tell me what's been going on in my absence. What the hell have you been doing?"_

"_Nothing much, just the same old shit, reading, movies, listening to music, hanging out with Edward, going to Jacob's."_

"_How's my Jasper holding up without me?" She sounded so upset._

"_He's doing okay Allie but I know it's just a front, he's missing you heaps!"_

"_Aww my poor Jazzy."_

"_He's been over at Edward's a lot, its been great."_

"_How is Edward? He still with Tanya? I swear when are the two of you going to get your heads out of your butts and get together already?"_

"_Not you too Allie! Are you forgetting I have a boyfriend? And to answer your question yes, he and Tanya are still very much together." I groaned in frustration._

"_Let me guess, Renee?"_

"_Yeah how'd you know?"_

"_I figured as much, she's around enough to see what I do."_

"_What's that suppose to mean?" I asked confused._

"_Nothing. You'll see. Eventually. Oh and Edward might as well be your boyfriend, he's around a lot more than Jacob, I haven't seen you two together in a long time. He hardly comes out with us."_

"_Anyway, tell me more about your trip."_

That conversation lasted for about 2 more hours, I was happy to hear she was enjoying her time in New York and couldn't wait till she got home.

I decided to pay Jacob a visit before dinner to make up for being shitty last night. I pulled into the familiar drive way and noticed that Leah's car was parked out front. I smiled to myself. I hadn't seen her for a while; she was busy working all the time.

I knocked on the door and waited a bit longer than usual for Jacob to answer. I was met with Billy instead.

"Hey Billy."

"Afternoon Bella, Jake and Leah are in his room. You want me to go get them?"

"No it's fine, I'll just go to them myself."

I walked into his room and found them watching a movie. Leah got up and hugged me.

"Hey girl, how are you? I haven't seen you in a while."

"I could say the same about you! Where've you been stranger?" I said hugging her back. I then found myself in Jacob's arms as he kissed my cheek and pecked my lips.

"I didn't know if I was going to be seeing you today, it's a nice surprise."

"Hey guys, I'm off. I should probably get home, I need to pick Seth up from his friend's house."

"Aww, you didn't even get to finish the movie, and I just got here! We still need to catch up!"

"Maybe next time, See ya Jake, bye Bella." I had no idea when she stared calling him that.

"Jake huh? I thought you hated that name." I teased. "You know she didn't have to leave; she could've hung out with us. You know I'd never let her feel like a third wheel or anything."

"I don't know when she started calling me that, and yes I still hate it." He said a little too defensively. "Besides now that she's gone I can do this." He was now kissing me much like a hungry wolf.

"Your dad's home."

"He doesn't care." He started kissing my neck, leaving hot wet kisses everywhere.

"Fine 10 minutes then we leave the door open."

"Got it, 10 minutes."

"We have to be quiet."

"Baby you know I love it when you scream my name." I blushed at this. "Besides it's not like my dad doesn't know what's going on in here. He's still a guy."

"Yeah but it's weird just even thinking that you're dad has those thoughts. Gross." He continued his assault on my neck and I gave in.

"Just don't leave any hickeys."

"I'll try."

"Is your door locked?"

"It is. Now quit stalling and give me head."

"Of course. Just don't forget to return the favour." I said with a surge of boldness that decided to come out and play.

Jacob was pretty big, but I wouldn't have anything to compare it with since I haven't seen another penis in person. I remembered my first experience at giving him head a few months ago. His hornymones as I affectionately call them came in full force.

_Holy shit! So that's what his doodle looks like. I thought to myself._

"_Baby I'd prefer if you didn't call it a doodle. I think it's more of a beast don't you think?" He smirked. Shit I said that out loud!_

"_Umm … okay whatever you want." I said suddenly nervous. How the hell did I get myself in this position? Oh yeah dry humping and feeling that hardness under me. Curiosity killed the cat. "I don't really know what to do." I said shyly._

"_Just put it in you mouth I guess and suck?"_

_I did as he instructed and tasted the tip first." He moaned loudly so I guess I was doing something right. I decided the hell with it and tried to put it my mouth. Big mistake! As soon as it hit the back of my throat my eyes watered, and I instantly gagged. My mouth wasn't used to be open like that and my jaw locked. He sensed my distress and understood my need to get up. _

"_Sorry." I looked down at my feet._

"_Hey, it's okay, for what it's worth it still felt good, you can try again later." I decided to just give him hand and try again later. I was so glad we were at his house alone, or I would've been mortified had Billy been there in the next room._

I'm glad to say that after my initial experience at the art of fellatio I have gotten considerably better, and developed mad skills.

He ended up going down on me after like he said he would. It felt good, but I was yet to experience an earth shattering orgasm from it. I guess I definitely hadn't reached my sexual peak; I should be expecting that when I'm 30 or something right? I guess that explains my mom's behaviour last night. I shuddered at the thought. So I pretended that I did. I didn't want to crush his ego. So I just played along with it. I usually got frustrated so when he would be in the bathroom I had to take matters into my own hands. I guess I just knew my body better than Jacob did. It's not like I didn't enjoy the stimulation he gave me, it's just that it seemed his efforts were more like a prelude to my own self-induced orgasms.

The 10 minutes turned into 40 so I decided I should head home to fix dinner. Luckily Billy was asleep on the couch when I left. I wasn't opposed to climbing out of Jacob's window had that not been the case. I'm being serious. I'm glad I decided to forego the light make-up I usually would wear, because right now I had that freshly fucked looked. Even if there was no actual fucking involved. I had a serious case of bed head.

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**Lucky Bella didn't walk in on her parents continuing their shenanigans from the previous night! Awkward turtle and a half! **

**Aww the poor girl got lock jaw, I'm sure her first experience isn't something that's uncommon hahaha.**

**Till next time lovelies x  
**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and the characters mentioned. **

**I've never been to New York, that's why I'm being vague, Sorry in advanced for any errors that I may have overlooked. **

**It's a short one.  
**

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x  
**

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**Ch 7 Phone Calls**

**Meanwhile in New York …**

**APOV**

Hearing from Bella instantly made my day, but it also made me miss home so much more. I think I shopped enough and I was kind of getting sick of it. Yeah I know, a strange sentence coming from me. There are only so many things you could buy without getting bored. Sure I bought a few things for the others back home, but I think Alice Brandon was all shopped out. By all means I'm not spending every waking hour shopping, despite what everyone thinks about me. I've also done most of what is expected for a visitor; things like tours with my parents, seeing Central Park and just going for walks finding great boutiques along the way, as well as visiting the Museum of Modern Art for Bella until we can see it together some day. I'm actually looking into some design schools (I haven't told anybody yet) to study fashion design next year. It's going well so far, I'm also looking into it for Bella, I know she's had an interest in going to design school too for graphic design, but she still has made her mind up yet. This trip was also a test to see how Jasper and I would cope long distance. I don't really like the idea of being apart but this is something I want to do for my future. We'll just have to try and balance it.

Only a few more weeks to go then I could see Jasper - the love of my life, oh and of course Bella and Edward. I couldn't believe I had been away from them for so long, I hope I would fit in once I came back. Who am I kidding of course I will, I just couldn't help feeling like I've missed out on so much.

I was brought out of my inner musings when I heard my phone ringing in the background. I took a glance at it and was instantly confused. _Jacob_. Why would he be calling me? I guess Bella must've been using his phone; she probably didn't have any credit on her phone. I hesitantly answered.

"_Hello?"_ It came out more of a question rather than my usual perky greeting.

I heard nothing but a rustling noise. _"Hellooo?"_ I tried again.

I'm guessing he accidentally dialled me. It happens so often to me it's almost an everyday occurrence; I wish people would lock their phones. Blank text messages were the worst. I guess that's what I get for having a name starting with an 'A'. After a few seconds of rustling I was on the verge of hanging up when the moaning started. I wanted to throw up. Sure I love my bestie but this was a bit of an over share. I could faintly hear her in the background saying something about the pants having to come off and getting a condom ready, although my little Bella didn't sound her usual self. Huh? And since when did she start calling him Jake? That was a new development. I guess her voice sounds different in the throes of passion. I giggled at the thought and with that I hung up before I could hear anything remotely disturbing for my ears, although I couldn't shake a nagging feeling at the back of my mind trying to tell me something, I just shook it off. During my recent phone call with Bella I couldn't recall her telling me about her losing her virginity this summer, I would most definitely remember that. I guess she'll tell me soon. This is something big. I couldn't wait to go home.

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Three days had passed since I last phoned home, text messages just weren't enough. So I decided to give Bella a call, hopefully I could fish for details.

I was flicking through my latest issue of _Vogue_ while dialling, she picked up on the second ring, I love that girl.

"_Hey Allie!"_

"_Hey yourself! Missing me much?"_

"_Of course Belly! There are only so many characters in a text message; I just felt you haven't had a sufficient daily dose of Alice, so voil_à_ I called."_

"_You know you didn't have to, I still have loads of credit and minutes."_

"_Well tough, we're on the phone now so there's nothing you can do about it."_

"_True!"_

"_So missy, you've got some explainin' to do!" _

"_What are you talking about Allie?"_

"_You know, something that involves you, Jacob, moaning and the subsequent loss of your v-card."_

"_What? What are you talking about?" I could hear her blush from here, my little tomato. Although she did sound genuinely confused, not the I'm-trying-to-deny-it-so-let-it-drop tone I was expecting._

"_Well I got a call from Jacob's phone the other day thinking you were ringing me from there, but I guess he didn't lock his phone. It sounded like you guys were in a very heated situation. If you know what I mean."_

**BPOV**

Oh my God! I am utterly mortified. I can't believe Jacob didn't empty his pockets when I was servicing his "beast". I know how much that thing is glued to his person, but seriously it's not like I'm ever going to look through it. I enjoy my privacy just as much as he does. It's not like we have anything to hide from each other. There just aren't any secrets between the two of us. That's why I love him, he's so open and honest, something hard to find amongst the male population our age. I can't believe Alice heard it. I'm so glad we were having this conversation on the phone rather than face-to-face. I'm so red right now.

"_Holy shit Allie! I'm so sorry you had to hear that. I'm fucking mortified and beyond embarrassed! Next time I'll make sure he empties his pockets. God Alice! This stays between the two of us!"_

"_No worries Bella, it's not like this will come up easily in conversation." I was laughing now. "It's not I'd be like "Hey guys I totally heard Bella and Jacob having sex." It makes me sound all sorts of creepy stalkerish. Anyway, so are you going to tell me how your de-flowering went? Did it hurt you a lot? Was there blood?"_

"_Whoa, whoa. Wait a second what? What are you talking about? We weren't having sex, we still haven't done _that."

"_Oh! I mean I just assumed, I could've sworn I heard something about a …" She sounded like there was more to it, I wonder where this was leading. "Never mind." but she left it at that. Thank God!_

"_Oh God no! I was just giving him head." Please don't make me give details._

_She was giggling quietly to herself now. "What's so funny?"_

"_Oh nothing, anyway change of subject."_

Our conversation continued much like all the others we've had, random shit really, but that's just Alice and I, we bounce from topic to topic at an alarming speed. We never could talk ourselves out, more so now that we were physically apart from each other.

**APOV**

Hmmm maybe I misheard her; unless she really doesn't want to get spunk in her mouth so she did it with one on, probably a flavoured one too. I remember Jas using a banana flavoured one when we were experimenting. I couldn't help thinking of sex ed class with the bananas so I ended up laughing, not good for his ego. His junk was all fruity and man junk isn't meant to be like that, it's definitely not for Jas and I. I giggled to myself. Shit she's asking why I'm laughing. I think I'll just keep that little bit to myself. Our conversation went on for another 2 hours about anything and everything, until it was time for her to go help out or rather make dinner for her family. With the new bits of information I gathered today I couldn't help but get that nagging feeling again. I knew that as soon as I got home I would be in detective mode. Something just wasn't sitting right with me.

Jacob and Bella have a strange relationship from an outsider's point of view. But it was theirs and I didn't think it was my place to comment on what works out between them, she loves and trusts him, things she made him earn. She's my best friend but I can't help but think there's so much more out there for her, and I just don't want her to settle with second best.

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**Hope you liked it, let me know your thoughts :)**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters. **

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x  
**

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"I'm crying like a newborn baby,  
Because you're falling like an injured dove"

- _Bright White Lights_ - Whitley

**Ch 8 Heartaches & Heartbreaks**

The end of vacation was looming and the prospect of going back a senior was daunting. I was still deciding where I wanted to go and hadn't filled out my college preferences. I was still debating on whether I should study design or communications. I just hope the answer comes to me soon.

Alice was expected to come home a week earlier than planned so she could come and buy school supplies with us and of course to at least have a weeks vacation to doing anything and everything we could together before school starts again. I was really looking forward to her early arrival, just one more week to go. I missed her so much.

Things were going really great between Jacob and I; we had spent many days at the beach when it was warm enough. Leah would hang out with us most days and I was glad for the female company, although it did make me miss Alice all the more. Leah's a great girl, a bit aloof at first but she warms up to you once you get to know her better. Her friendship with Jacob is much like Edward's and mine; her dad Harry has been Billy's fishing buddy since forever so Leah and Jacob have pretty much hung around each other for a long time. I know that there's nothing I have to worry about, so I've never had any jealous feelings towards their friendship, after all I would be the biggest hypocrite if I harboured any.

Today Jasper, Edward, Tanya and I were going to Port Angeles to catch a movie. I didn't know what we were going to see since I hardly ever go out to the cinema, not much of the crap they show appeals to me as of late, I'd rather see quality films so I just buy them on DVD or go to special screenings when I can. Jasper and I were going to meet Tanya and Edward there since they were having dinner before hand.

I was now on my way to Jasper's house, the drive wasn't that far. The great thing about living in a small town is that you rarely had to drive a long distance to get to your destination, I guess that's the only thing good about it, I hated having everybody know your shit. I pulled up Jasper's driveway and beeped my horn; he rushed out of his cream coloured house over to my truck.

"Hey there pretty lady." He said tipping the bowler hat on top of his shaggy blond hair.

"Hey Jasper, how you holding up man?"

"Fuckin' dying Bella, can't wait till this week is over, I'm dying to see Alice real bad. It's been too fuckin' long."

"Yeah I know what you mean."

"You been watering her mom's plants and taking care of her dog like you promised."

"Of course I am, anything for my Alice."

"You guys are so sweet together, I'm glad you didn't get freaked out when she just approached you like that." Jasper only moved to Forks about a year ago from Texas. It was his first day at school when Alice abruptly left our conversation about the benefits of exfoliating your skin; when she had this strange blank look on her face. Jasper had just walked out of the office and was sitting at one of the benches reading his schedule when Alice went up to him and sat right by his side. I followed her, but stayed back just enough so I could still hear what she was going to say to him.

"_You've kept me waiting a long time." _ What the hell was she doing I thought to myself.

Jasper which I later found out to be his name after this strange episode, simply replied, _"I'm sorry ma'am."_ while ducking his head like the good southern gentleman he is.

I just rolled my eyes and thought, well isn't that an exciting way to start out the year. And the rest as they say is history; they are so in love it's not even funny. Looking at them in their little love bubble feels like I'm looking in on something intimate. I can definitely see them getting married one day. Alice also agrees. She said she has a 'f_eeling_' that it would lead them there eventually. Alice and her _'feelings'_ are usually right though, so I've learnt to just go with the flow.

Jasper and I pulled into the parking lot at the cinema and were making our way to the front of the complex where we had agreed to meet Edward and Tanya, as we approached we could hear a couple fighting from behind a huge movie display. The guy was trying to keep the girl calm but her screeching continued. All Jas and I could think of was that we were glad it wasn't us. The couple had ceased their fighting and out comes Edward and Tanya from behind the display. Gee I wonder what the hell set that off. I should remember to ask him about that later.

It seemed like Tanya's mood did a complete 180 when she saw us standing there.

"Hey Jasper, Bella. Good to see you both. I love what you've done with your hair Bella it looks pretty."

I was a bit puzzled since I hadn't done anything to it. I rarely do, I always leave it either down or up in a messy knot; it's just grown a bit since we last saw each other I guess. So I just thanked her for the compliment anyway.

"Thanks Tanya, you're looking great too, your hair is umm super shiny tonight." _Honestly Bella, what the hell kind of crap is coming out of your mouth "You're hair is super shiny?"_ Beauty speak is not my forte, that's where Alice comes in.

"Oh really?" She took a strand and examined it.

"Alrighty then, what movie do you guys want to see?" I asked no one in particular.

"Just make sure it's not too chicky, I want to see something interesting."

"Well then why don't you choose Jas, you okay with guys choice tonight Tanya?" She was alternating between looking at her hair and her fingernails at this point.

"Yeah I'm down with whatever."

"You alright Tanya? You seem a little distracted."

"Yeah everything's fine, just feeling a little unwell."

"You sure you up for the movie? I could always drive you home." Edward looked at her with genuine concern. I was half expecting him to carry her to the car so he could take her to Carlisle.

"No, I'm fine, I'm sure it'll pass, besides we haven't all hung out a great deal together, so of course I wouldn't miss this."

Jasper ended up choosing some gore film and I felt like throwing up looking at all the blood and guts on the screen, I'm a wee bit squeamish when it comes to shit like this. Tanya looked like she shared my sentiments, looking thoroughly repulsed and ready to blow chunks. She sure wasn't kidding when she said she wasn't feeling well.

When we got out of the theatre Jas and I said our goodbyes to Edward and Tanya as he was getting ready to drive her home.

"Night guys, drive safely! It was great to see you again Tanya." We pecked each other on the cheek then Jasper and I walked to my truck.

"I don't know about you but I'm fuckin' hungry, I could go for a burger and fries or maybe something from Sam's, Whataya say Bella?"

"Yeah I guess I could eat, although after that piece of shit film you picked I don't know how well I'll keep it down."

"Hey don't hate the gore, I'm sorry if it's not to your liking you movie snob, besides I know you own a copy of _13 Going On 30_ so don't give me that shit."

"Shut up! I like 80's flashback films and anyway, you know how I am with blood." I shuddered at the thought.

"Yeah after seeing you pass out when Newton pricked his finger in bio. I can definitely say I know."

"I could smell it from my seat!"

"Yeah can't say I blame ya for passin' out, Newton's pretty nasty." He laughed.

"Indeed." I laughed along thinking about the Golden Retriever that can't take no for an answer.

It was about 11.30 when I pulled into my driveway and was so happy at the prospect of letting sleep claim me. I was making my way to my door when I saw that Edward too had pulled into his own driveway two doors down. Just then my phone started ringing in my handbag.

"_Hey stranger to what do I owe the pleasure." _I said with a ridiculously big smile on my face.

"_Bella it's Harry … he had a heart attack tonight, we're at the hospital now." _Jacob barely got the words out. It sounded more like choked sobs. I definitely didn't see that one coming. The smile I had a few seconds ago was immediately replaced with a mask of sadness.

"_Oh my God! Is he okay?" _

"_Bella." He choked. "… He died, Harry's gone." _His voice was faint and I felt a huge pain in my chest for him. For Leah and her family. My hands were shaking at this point, I had to grab on to my truck for support.

"_Do you need me to come by? How's Leah doing? Seth? Sue? Oh God how's Billy taking all this? I know that they were best friends." _I winced at my use of past tense.

"_They're all holding up as well as they can … considering."_

"_Babe are _you_ okay? Do you need me to come down to the hospital? Just say the word and I'll be there." _By now I had tears running down my cheeks, I could feel Jacob's pain and it was soon becoming my own. I was always so empathetic; when I would see someone hurt I'd feel their pain like I was going through it simultaneously. Right now I had to rein it all in and be strong for him. He needs me.

"_Bella it's late, I'm sure you're dad would hate me even more if you drove out here right now."_

"_Fuck it! This is important, _you're_ important. I know he'll understand once I let him know the circumstances."_

"_Okay, if you're sure. I'll see you soon, love you."_

"_Love you too, I'll get there as soon as I can."_

Just as I was about to run in the direction of my house I was surprised to see Edward standing by my truck.

"Bells you okay? I was heading into my house when I noticed you were still standing out here."

"Just let me run inside to leave mom and dad a note then I'll explain everything. I don't have a lot of time." So I ran into the house and grabbed the notepad and pen from the coffee table and quickly jot down my message.

_Mom & Dad,_

_I've driven to the hospital, Jake's family friend passed away tonight. _

_He needs me there with him._

_Love you._

_- Bella_

I left it on the fridge so either one would see it as soon as they woke up. Edward was waiting on my front steps when I rushed out to my truck.

"Bella where are you going? Its almost midnight."

"I have to go, Jacob needs me. Leah's dad died tonight. I'm going down to the hospital."

"I'm coming with you, I don't like you driving alone at this time."

"'Kay."

"We'll take the Volvo, and Bella please stop crying." He wiped the fresh tears that were rolling down my cheeks with his thumb.

"I can't help it, you know me." I sniffled.

"Yeah I know Bells, just keep your head up." He gave me one of his crooked grins, as we made our way to his car.

We got to the hospital in half the time it would've taken me in my old truck. I was now thankful for Edward's habit of speeding.

We were walking to the room where Harry was. I slowly made my way to the seat outside the room where Jacob was hunched over.

"I'm here baby." I put a comforting hand on his shoulder. He didn't say anything instead just pulling me to his lap and continued crying. I didn't let my tears fall. I couldn't let him see. It was so hard. It was killing me to see him like this.

I forgot Edward was with us until he made his presence known, giving his condolences to Jacob and informing us he was going to see Carlisle who was working the late shift. Before he left, Jacob thanked him for driving me to the hospital, because I was clearly in no state to drive. My heart swelled at their civil behaviour, well on Jacob's part since Edward is always polite towards him.

After a long silence I finally mustered the courage to ask what had happened earlier on. "What happened?"

"I don't know, Dad and Harry were just watching the game on T.V. at their house when Harry just clutched his left arm and had so much trouble breathing ... so much trouble Bella." He said struggling to get the words out.

"Shhh. It's okay, take your time." I kissed his temple.

"Dad called 911 and Sue came in panicked. Leah was trying to keep her mom calm. Lucky Seth wasn't home to see it all happen. He died on the way here." Jacob's voice broke and the tears erupted again. Leah came out of the room and I had never seen her this distraught ever. I rushed over to her at once and enveloped her in a hug.

"Oh Leah!" I could feel her pain too and it too became my own. No words needed to be said, she just clutched onto me and began to crumble in my arms. We stayed like that for what it seemed like hours before I left her in Jacob's embrace while I went to check on the others.

It was nearing 3 in the morning when Billy felt it was time for me to get some sleep.

"We appreciate you coming Bella we really do, I speak on behalf of Sue and the kids too."

"Seriously Billy it wasn't a problem. I wanted to do whatever I could to help."

"I'm glad Jacob has someone like you. Get home safe okay."

"I'll see you soon, take care. If you need anything at all, just let me know."

Edward was waiting in the hallway for me and I told him I was ready to go. As soon as we exited the hospital doors a huge wave of emotion swept over me. Everybody's pain just overwhelmed me and the tears I was so desperately holding in just came down in full force. By the time we reached the Volvo I was violently crying and gasping for air.

"Bells, it's going to be okay I promise. You're too empathetic for your own good sometimes." Edward said trying to lighten the mood.

I didn't say anything after that.

We pulled onto our street and I was surprised to see we weren't in my driveway.

"Come on Bells, I call it a Code Blue emergency and I think some cheering up is in order."

"Yeah I guess so." I felt like I was on autopilot when I made my way to Edward's room, my surroundings weren't registering with me. I could've been moving with my eyes closed for all I knew. I just walked to his dresser and pulled out one of his old shirts and my sleep shorts, changed into them and crawled under the covers. I was starting to get a serious tension headache from all my crying and my face felt all puffy. As I lay down I noticed Edward came back with a tray in hand where a box of tissues, block of chocolate, a huge bowl of ice cream with two spoons, pills and a glass of water lay on top.

"Thanks for this." I gestured towards the bedside table where he placed the tray.

"You know I'm here for you always, never question that. Besides the crutch needs a crutch of her own sometimes too you know." He then proceeded to his stereo where his iPod was plugged in and played some music softly in the background, in case we fell asleep before doing so.

"Yeah I guess."

I eventually fell asleep only to wake an hour later crying and gasping for air. I had a nightmare in which I lost my own father. I dreamt he got shot on the job. And I never got to say goodbye to him. It felt so real. I kept mumbling Charlie's name over and over again. I wanted to run to his room down the hall and tell him I loved him and that he's a great dad; instead a warmth enveloped me and hushed my cries, willing me back towards a deep dreamless slumber.

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**Hope you liked it!**

**Thoughts anyone? A review or two would be lovely **** :) **


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**This one is a long one, and the story is moving forward most definitely.**

**Song for this chapter is below this AN.**

**Happy reading! Let me know your thoughts.  
**

**Cheers x**

**P.S a relevant AN will be at the end, so don't forget to read that too!  
**

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"Tell everybody  
Waiting for Superman  
That they should try to  
Hold on the best they can  
He hasn't dropped them, forgot them or anything  
It's just too heavy for Superman to lift."

- _Waiting For A Superman_ – Iron & Wine (Flaming Lips cover)

**Ch 9 When It Rains It Pours**

I woke up with the sun shining a little too brightly on my face. I must've forgotten to close my blinds before I went to bed. Upon opening my eyes I saw that I was definitely not in my modest sized bedroom, instead I was in Edward's spacious one. Last night and everything that happened with Harry really did happen and I immediately felt my sadness creeping back in. Edward's blinds had been slightly opened explaining all the light, as his bed faced a wall of ceiling to floor windows, overlooking the expanse of trees behind our houses. The Cullen's home stood out amongst the other three; including mine on our street. It wasn't too ostentatious by any means, but you could definitely see Esme's love of interior design and architecture shine through. She has her own company – _Cullen Design_ based in Seattle but she tends to work from home a lot more these days.

As I languorously stretched and listened to the soft music lulling me in the background, I found the bed empty of Edward. I know the whole concept of Edward and I sharing a bed would certainly confuse outsiders looking in on our friendship; but it's always been this way. Our sleepovers are such a regular occurrence, that none of our families think twice about it. Sure I could always sleep in one of their guestrooms but there would be no point if ended up staying up most of the night watching movies and pigging out together. It's not like anything remotely inappropriate would happen so it was cool, my dad didn't even give two shits about it and he carries a gun for fucks sake. Edward's pretty much the son he never had.

I glanced at the bedside table for the alarm clock seeing that it was almost midday and noticed that the tray from earlier had gone and found a note in its place instead.

_Bells,_

_Thought you could use the extra sleep._

_Come downstairs when you're ready._

_- E_

He has the neatest hand writing for a guy I've ever seen. It always amazed me how legible it actually was. I walked, thankfully without stumbling to his bathroom and washed my face and cleaned my teeth with my toothbrush I kept here. I looked like a mess, my hair was so ratty and my face! My eyes were definitely swollen and my cheeks were looking puffy. Hopefully Esme or my mom could help me out with that.

I walked down the stairs toward the kitchen where I assumed I'd find everybody. I could smell lunch being prepared. I was a bit bummed that I missed out on one of Esme's breakfasts. Getting closer I was immediately encased in the loving arms of Esme.

"Oh honey! Edward and Carlisle told me what happened. Are you okay?"

"Of course I am, I'm just more concerned about Jacob. Harry was practically family to him."

"Of course dear." She let go and continued preparing lunch.

"I called your mother earlier, she knows you stayed the night. She said to stay as long as you like."

"Thanks for doing that. So where's Edward?"

"He just stepped out to pick up some milk. He should be back shortly." Speak of the devil and he shall appear. Edward walked into the kitchen milk in hand.

"Hey Bells. Sleep okay?"

"Yeah I did." I smiled meekly.

"I saved you a plate from breakfast. Mom put it in the oven to keep it warm."

"Funny you should say that, I was just thinking about how shitty I felt for missing one of you mom's famous breakfasts. But of course you saved me a plate."

"Of course. I'll just grab it for you, just take a seat." So I did as he instructed.

A plate with a stack of banana pancakes sat in front of me and I almost drooled at the sight. I was putting copious amounts of syrup on it when Edward put a large scoop of vanilla ice cream on top.

"I figured since we didn't get round to finishing the ice cream this morning I should make it up to you."

"Thanks, now shut up so I can devour this orgasm inducing stack of pancakes."

"You love your food too much, orgasm inducing, really now?" He said quirking an eyebrow at me.

"Yes really, you're mom is an awesome cook."

"Thank-you dear!" She called out from the kitchen.

"You sure you have enough room for lunch?" He looked at me smugly.

"That's a stupid question Cullen." I still had plenty of room left. The thought of lunch excited me further. Edward just rolled his eyes at me.

After my fucking amazing brunch, we helped Esme load the dishes into the dishwasher and went back up to his room. I sat on the bed while he was looking for a DVD to put on.

"You know I totally forgot I stayed here last night. I woke up expecting to see my tiny room when I realised I was in yours."

"Yeah, you were pretty out of it. Kind of not aware of everything around you last night; you even woke up at like 4 or 5 this morning from a nightmare and you were about to bolt from my bed. What was that all about?"

**EPOV**

Last night was quite the experience. I had just pulled into my driveway from taking Tanya home when I noticed Bella was out front too. She was just standing there holding on to her truck. As I walked closer I could see that she was on the phone and looked really upset. She had tears streaming down her cheeks. I hated to see her like that. I cautiously approached her truck and waited till she got off the phone to see if there was anything I could do. I swear to God if that boyfriend of hers has anything to do with her tears he's got some answering to do.

I found out it did have to do with him, although under different circumstances. Someone close to him had passed away and it was tearing Bella apart too. She was so selfless sometimes and a little too empathetic for her own good it was scary, but definitely something I admire about her.

I watched her hold her emotions back for his sake and Leah's and just remained the person they could lean on. I gave them some space and left to find my dad, I ended up hanging out in his office till I felt it was okay to come back.

It was nearing 3 and I could tell sleep was on everybody's minds so Bella and I left the hospital. She had a massive breakdown as soon as we passed through the exit doors. My chest felt an immense pain for her. Bella shouldn't cry, she should always be happy. She should always be that little girl with a toothy grin smiling at anything and everything. Not the broken girl I saw walking toward my car.

I decided that she couldn't be alone so I brought her to my house. I wanted to take care of her, after all it warranted a Code Blue. She needed me, and I promised I would always be there for her no matter what. I pushed aside all thoughts of my and Tanya's argument earlier on that were bothering me and focussed on Bella. Sometime after we settled into sleep Bella's cries woke me up. She was quite restless, so I tried to soothe her and make sure she knew she was safe. I guess the painkillers kind of muddled her up since it seems she couldn't recall it when I asked.

"Yeah I don't know what happened. Was it really that bad?"

"Kind of, you were thrashing around a bit and kept saying your dad's name over and over again."

"I guess Leah losing her dad so suddenly brought it closer to home, with Charlie's job and all."

"Forks is hardly a crime ridden place Bells, I guess it's safe to say the risk is minimal." I replied.

"Yeah but that's just it. There's always a risk and that scares the shit out of me!" She looked so lost in her thoughts.

"Enough about me, what happened between you and Tanya? You guys looked like you were in the middle of a heated conversation when Jasper and I got to the cinema." Of course she'd shift the focus on me, ah the art of deflection - such a Bella thing to do.

"It's okay, you can call it a screaming match, it was hardly a conversation. I honestly have no fucking clue! She's been picking fights with me so frequently I just can't keep up. Her mood swings are seriously giving me whiplash."

"Maybe she's all PMS'y." I had thought about that but it was nearly every god damn day!

"Yeah that did cross my mind but seriously Bells it's like she's a fucking time bomb. I'm just waiting for her to explode. One day she's all sweet, the next she's either picking a fight with me over the smallest things or she's trying to fuck my brains out." _Trying_ was the key word here; I still haven't had sex with her. If the other guys heard about this I would surely get shit for not 'tapping that'. For some reason the whole concept of having sex with her kind of feels wrong, like there's something missing. Maybe it'll be normal if I ever develop feelings closer to love for her. I just didn't want it to be a meaningless fuck you know? _Wow I think Bella's right, I Edward Cullen am growing a vagina._

"Well then, I don't have an answer for that unfortunately, sorry Cullen."

"Neither do I." I breathed a sigh of frustration. "So you going down to see Jacob today?" She most likely would be, I wouldn't be surprised if she cooked something for the Black's and Clearwater's.

"I probably will, I just need to show my face at home first, so I better get going. Thanks for everything."

"It wasn't a problem. Let me know if you need anything okay." I said kissing her forehead.

"Catch ya later." With that she left for her house. And I was left with thoughts on what I should do about Tanya. Things had been going pretty well up until recently. I needed to make a decision and soon.

**BPOV**

"Mom, I'm home."

"Hey honey, Esme called this morning and told me all about it. Come here." I was glad to be in one of her loving hugs, even if Jacob wasn't always her favourite person, she still managed to show great concern.

"Let's put something together for you to bring down to their house." I just looked at her questioningly and laughed. "Okay you make the more complicated something and I'll just put some sandwiches and wraps together. How's that sound?"

"Sounds great mom."

"And hush, anyone would do this for others who are in their situation."

"Love you mom, where's dad?"

"Love you too and he's down at the store. I asked him to pick up a few things for the sandwiches."

"I'm just gonna take a quick shower 'kay. Oh and mom do you have anything to make my puffiness go down?"

"Look on my dresser, there should be some eye cream and use one of my face masks."

When I came down from my shower dad was already sitting on the couch in front of the flat screen. I jumped on his lap straight away and hugged him so tightly.

"Ummph … easy there kiddo I'm not built like I used to be, and you're not as small as you were a few years ago."

"Sorry dad, I'm just glad to see you that's all."

"I heard about what happened. You okay pumpkin?"

"Yeah, just shaken up a bit you know? I just …"

"I know Bells." I didn't need to finish my sentence; dad knew what I was thinking about.

After mom and I fixed a few things for Jacob and Leah's families I decided to forego calling them and decided to just go down there instead. I had a feeling they'd be at Jacob's since it couldn't be easy going back to the place where it all happened.

I knocked on their door with my canvas tote in hand filled with all the food. Billy answered.

"Hey Bella. Wow you sure were busy this morning." He said gesturing to the food in my arms.

"Yeah I thought you and Sue could use someone to cook for you all. Nothing special, just some wraps, sandwiches and a pasta bake my mom and I made."

"Thank-you Bella."

I walked into the house and found Sue sitting on the couch with Leah and Seth (her younger 13 year old brother) curled up on either side of her. Leah looked up at me and smiled sombrely. I smiled back and motioned to all the food.

"I had a feeling you'd all be hungry."

"Bella sweetheart thank-you." Sue said as she got up and kissed my cheek. "Jacob's just in the bathroom, I'm sure he'll be out shortly."

I grabbed two plates of food and went to sit with Leah, handing her a plate.

"You didn't have to do that for me. I could've grabbed one for myself."

"I know, I just thought I'd save you the trip."

"Thanks Bella, you're a really good person you know that. You really are."

I laughed. "I'm only doing what anyone else would. Honestly it's nothing."

We were eating in a comfortable silence, only with the soft noise from the television in the background when Jacob finally emerged from the bathroom. I got up to greet him. He looked worse than last night, he had bags under his eyes, I guess everyone did.

"I brought some food over, you should eat something."

"Thanks Bella. I don't deserve someone like you." He looked at me with sad eyes.

"Of course you do silly. Now eat up. I know you're hungry."

I stayed a couple more hours and just hung around helping them with anything and everything. I liked being useful. I noticed Leah kept to herself a lot and Jacob kind of distanced himself away from her. I wonder what that was all about. I guess Leah needed space from everyone including her best friend.

Jacob and I were snuggled up on the couch together when Leah abruptly got up and left the room. I guess she finally cracked.

"Do you want me to go and check up on her?"

"Uhhh … no I think she'll be fine, she probably just needs more space or something." He said a little hesitantly.

Whatever was going on between the two of them, I just hoped they would figure it out and soon. It's clear they both need each other, especially with the funeral coming up in a few days. They weren't acting like their usual selves, I guess experiencing a loss does that to you. It takes a piece of you away and you're never really whole again after that. My heart broke a little more for all of them.

A week had passed since Harry's death. The funeral was today. It should've been a happy Saturday since Alice was expected to arrive in a few short hours. She understood I couldn't accompany Jasper to the airport to pick her up under the circumstances; so I promised I'd stay over tomorrow night instead. Edward offered to accompany me to the funeral, since my parents had flown to Phoenix to visit one of my mom's relatives. It was planned way in advanced and the non-refundable tickets they had made me force them to go. They shouldn't cancel on my behalf.

It was an hour before Edward was due to pick me up so I jumped into the shower and got ready. Lucky I had my outfit picked out since last night so that was one less thing I had on my mind. I slipped into my black shift dress with lace sleeves and did my hair up in a messy bun with the right side braided into the bun. I kept make-up minimal opting only for waterproof mascara and my Chapstick. I chose to wear my black flats with delicate beige bows on top, as heels are never really an option for me. I'm clumsy as hell, and everyone knew it.

I could hear Edward let himself into my house, with the spare key we kept on the eave so I grabbed my black bag (stuffing at least four packets of tissues into it) and blazer for later. I quickly glanced at the mirror for one final check; pleased to see I clean up pretty well. I may not be a girly girl but I do like to dress well, when I have to.

"Bells are you ready yet? I'm just going to leave my overnight bag under the stairs and deal with it when we get back" Edward yelled from down the stairs. We decided he should stay over to help me watch the house while my parents weren't home for the week. Mom and dad hated to leave me here all by myself.

"Just a second, I'll be down soon." I sprayed my perfume and rushed down the stairs and bumped right into Edward, nearly knocking him down in the process. He steadied the both of us before we ended up falling.

"Slow down there Bella, there's no rush, we're pretty early you know."

"I know. I just want to see if they need any help before hand." I looked up at him, noticing he was dressed impeccably. It wasn't too formal, but not dressed down either. Edward was wearing black jeans, with black dress shoes, a black and white striped dress shirt that had black cuffs and collar topped with a charcoal blazer. He was so well put together although I couldn't say the same for his hair. It was in its usual tousled array; there was nothing he could do to tame it sadly, no matter how hard he tried.

"You look lovely Bella." He said genuinely.

"Not bad yourself Cullen, c'mon let's get going. Thanks for coming with me. I know you could be spending your Saturday elsewhere."

"I told you already, I wanted to be there for you, its no problem at all so let's go."

I locked the house up as Edward made his way to the Volvo.

As we pulled up to the church in La Push the rain started to pour. How appropriate I thought. But I guess rain is always expected here, even if it were summer. Too bad it wasn't a beautiful sun shower, it looked like a really bad storm was brewing.

Edward got out of the car first and walked over to my door with the umbrella ready to shield me from the large drops of rain. As I stepped out I noticed Jacob was sitting on the front steps wearing a black suit with his head in his hands. Despite his sadness he looked amazing.

"Go to him, I'll take a seat inside." Edward whispered.

"I'll just find you in there okay." We walked towards Jacob and Edward silently made his way into the church.

"Hey." He looked up at me when I said this.

"Hey baby, you look nice."

"Thanks, so do you. You ready?"

"Yeah just give me a second."

"Take your time sweetie." I sat with him, resting my head on his shoulders.

We just sat there in silence and moved into the church once guests started to arrive. We sat on the front pew with Leah's family and Billy. Edward sat to my right, Jacob to my left.

The service was beautiful and heart breaking at the same time. When it came to Seth's eulogy there wasn't a dry eye in sight.

_My dad, I'll miss him so much. Every single day of life from now on I'll miss him._

_He was a great father to Leah and I, and mom's best friend. He always showed his love for us in many ways. Like the way he listened when we had something to say, even if it was just us retelling him a story we heard at school. Or when he would make our favourite foods or told his cheesy jokes. He always showed us that he cared for us. _

_He's my hero. Forget Superman or Batman. My dad will always be my hero. My dad taught me how to fish and play football. He even taught me a thing or two on how to fix a car and things around the house only two weeks ago. Sometimes I can't help but feel he knew his time was coming to an end because he taught me these things._

_I'm sad that I didn't get to say goodbye but I'm happy that I told him I loved him before I left the house that day._

_Dad, I know you're listening up there. I just want to say thank-you, I miss you and I love you. I hope to be a great father like you someday._

I couldn't contain my tears; I tried so desperately not to sob. Instead I just let them fall silently. I held onto Jacob's hand tightly as Edward laced his fingers through mine and gripped firmly. I just prayed that things would only get better from here.

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**Wow, sad Seth makes me want to hug him. Especially imagining him as Seth from _Eclipse_. The rest of the movie cast are also my ideal imaginings so picture them in my story :)  
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**Links to BxE's outfits for the funeral will be posted on my profile.  
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**Kinda looks like we're getting somewhere here towards the end doesn't it?  
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**Let me know what you guys thought. Be it about the story or the outfits I picked. Whatever floats your boats :)  
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**Hope you enjoyed the read!**

**x  
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	10. Chapter 10

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**This one's the longest I've written so far :)**

**Thank-you to _NTMREashleyXcore_ for the two reviews and also to _LOVE IS A GIFT_ for reviewing last time. I'm glad my little story is receiving at least a tiny bit of love :)**

**Sorry for overlooked errors. Now onward with the story!**

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x**

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"Be my friend  
Hold me, wrap me up  
Unfold me  
I am small  
I'm needy  
Warm me up  
And breathe me"

_Breathe Me_ - Sia

**Ch 10 I Am Ready, Let Me All The Way In**

**EPOV**

Today had been emotionally draining; being at a funeral is never an enjoyable experience. But being with Bella at a funeral, that was excruciating. I hated with a passion seeing her cry. When I held her hand after Seth's eulogy I could literally feel her pain seep through the pores of my skin. It felt as though her touch would burn me if I didn't let go, although I couldn't let go even if I wanted to, she needed me to ground her back to the earth. She gave bits of her strength and courage to those suffering around her, supporting them, so I gave her a piece of mine so she wouldn't fall.

She was so broken and Harry wasn't even related to her. I guess she formed somewhat of a bond with their family by association. Jacob. He looked like he'd definitely seen better days. He's still not my favourite person, but I feel for the guy. Death is never easy. I knew that if I wanted to follow my dad's career path it was something unavoidable that I'd come across; I'd have to be stoic like my father.

The funeral made me appreciate my dad more, and for that matter Charlie. He's a father figure to me too since he's basically witnessed me grow up. It was getting near 6 at night as Bella and I had motioned to leave the Clearwater's home. I ended up hanging out with Seth most of the time when Bella was flitting about the place assuming the position as a hostess of sorts since Leah was elsewhere and Sue was quite in a despondent mood. I could tell it was all finally sinking in with her, you could just see it on her face. Her husband would never walk through that door anymore, drop his boots by the staircase which she told him time and time again not to do and greet her with a kiss on the cheek. That would never happen again, it was gone – just like that. Even I could understand the magnitude of a loss such as this, I could only imagine how Bella felt. She does this crazy thing where she swears she can just _feel _what's going on with other people, looking at her sleeping form that night after the hospital incident I was starting to believe her more. She's just too sensitive, always has been. I recovered from my inner monologue when I registered Seth talking to me.

"So you better come visit La Push more often. You're a pretty cool guy. You actually let me hang out with you even if I'm way younger than you."

"Of course man! I'll come hang when I can. You should come visit Forks sometime too." I was being sincere, I had always wanted a younger brother, but instead I got stuck with Emmett.

"Yeah maybe, well if Leah could drop me off." He said sheepishly.

"I could always pick you up, it wouldn't be any trouble. Doesn't Jacob let you hang out with him? He's kind of close to your age."

"Nah he usually spends time with my sister, it would kinda make me a third wheel."

"I'm pretty sure whatever they'd be doing when hanging out wouldn't constitute that feeling, it's not like Leah's his girlfriend or anything, so I doubt you'd ever be around anything remotely awkward or inappropriate."

"Yeah I guess, but what would I know. I don't even have a girlfriend."

"There isn't any rush man, honestly either you'll find her when the time's right or she'll find you. It always happens when you're not looking for it. Anyway, I think Bella and I are ready to leave pretty soon." I motioned towards her while getting up from my position on one of the couches in the living room. She was still covering dishes with foil and placing them in the fridge. I had never seen so many casseroles in the one place in my life.

"I know I probably shouldn't say this and all since she's Jacob's girl, but if he wasn't in the picture you guys look like you could work ya'know."

I laughed at this. "No Seth I don't know. Seriously that girl is like the oldest friend I have and my best one at that." I shook my head at the suggestion, looking at him like he had grown an extra head in the span of seconds.

"Anyway Seth, it was a pleasure to meet you, despite the circumstances. Just give me a ring if you need anything okay or just want to hang out?"

"Thanks man, for getting my mind off stuff and everything." We did that handshake, man hug, clap to the shoulder thing and I set off to see if Bella was ready.

"Bells you ready to leave yet?"

"Yeah just a second, I'm tryna work out where to fit this last casserole, the fridge is so fucking full, and the freezer for that matter."

I laughed at the little conundrum she was in and just suggested that she could just pack it for Billy and Jacob since I doubt they felt like cooking anytime soon.

"That my friend is an excellent idea."

"What can I say I'm a genius." I said tapping my head knowingly.

"You're so full of shit Cullen."

"So where's Jacob at? I expected him to be by your side at all times."

"I don't know, he's off somewhere lost in his thoughts, he's been super silent lately. I'm just giving him some space you know? I think if that's what he needs then I'll give it to him." That was Bella; always putting others needs before hers.

"I'll just go and warm up the car."

As I reached my precious Volvo, I spotted movement from the corner of my eye. It was Jacob.

"Hey man, you guys heading off?"

"Yeah pretty soon, Bella's just packing some casseroles for you and your dad."

"I figured as much."

An awkward silence was starting to build so I made it to the driver's side so I could get the heat running.

"How you holding up man?" I was never one for small talk so I was kind of out of sorts since he and I have never really had a full conversation.

"Doing okay I guess, just hard ya'know. Hey I just wanna say thanks again."

"For …"

"For always looking out for Bella, and I just wanted to apologise for acting like an asshole in the past. You're actually a pretty good guy." I was kind of dumbfounded; I definitely didn't expect that to spout out from his mouth.

"Uhhh, thanks I guess? And I expect you to take care of her too, she's my best friend after all, just don't fuck it up."

"Yeah …" He sounded like he wanted to say more but we were interrupted by footsteps coming towards us.

"There you are! I was beginning to wonder where you had gotten to." Bella said as she reached up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. He kind of looked pained but it was gone as fast as I had noticed it, and was replaced with a half smile.

"Yeah sorry about that I just needed …"

"Space, yeah I know." She finished off for him.

"Yeah space, but maybe I'll make it up to you and come and visit a bit later on."

I knew enough about their relationship to say that this was a pretty big step; he hardly made the effort to see her, which brought back my bitter thoughts towards him. He was still an asshole for only doing it now that her parents were away but the light in her eyes just made me push down the anger, because seeing her happy had an effect on me like no other. I thought I'd best leave them in their private moment and got in my car.

Bella must have been extremely exhausted because she fell asleep during the short ride home. I would be spending the week there with her while her parents were in Phoenix so in a way it was my home too. Growing up with Bella made her house feel like my home, we've shared many memories in that two storey white house together that I've honestly lost count.

I unlocked the front door then made my way back to the car to pick a sleeping Bella up. Her whole body just sagged in my arms, completely oblivious to the world around her. She looked so peaceful like this. Much like the little girl from my childhood. I wondered idly what would happen next year, where we would end up for college? My whole life, apart from my family, Bella has been a constant aspect. Every bruise, every broken bone, every secret shared, every birthday and every other important milestone she was there for it. I know that one day we'd be going away to study, eventually getting married and having families of our own someday; but it was slowly creeping up on us. It would be strange not having her living two doors up from me, only seeing her when we'd visit our families for the holidays. Life wouldn't be the same.

I gently put her in her bed and took her shoes off, putting them back in the box situated on the floor and lightly placing her blue blanket over her. Seeing Bella in a dress was kind of a rarity. She was more of a jeans, t-shirt and occasional shorts and skirt kind of girl. She dressed in her own individual style, kind of vintage rock inspired, bohemian, eclectic feel but managing to pull it off well.

I'm sure this would just be a nap since it was still early so I made my way downstairs to fetch my over night bag. I quietly walked back up to Bella's room laughing softly at the picture of her and I with matching grins that were missing a front tooth each on the hallway table. Mine of course fell out naturally; Bella's, being the clumsy girl she is came out when she fell on her face – mouth open. Priceless. After trying so hard not to wiggle it too much because she was determined _"it will fall out when it's good and ready." _Her clumsiness won out.

I walked over to the main bathroom to get changed, which is pretty much Bella's since Charlie and Renee have their own en suite. I was immediately assaulted with the familiar smell of Bella - strawberries, freesias and just girl. Once I was done I tiptoed back to her room and hung my blazer and dress shirt up in her closet, and changing into comfortable clothes. I then made my way back down stairs. She still hadn't woken up which was a good thing. She needed her rest, I could tell by the dark circles under her eyes that she wasn't getting enough of it this week.

Walking into the kitchen towards the fridge I spotted a hot pink note held by a giant love heart magnet, undoubtedly from Renee.

_Bella & Edward,_

_I've left dessert for you since I know you'll be home after dinnertime._

_Cheer up honey! Your dad and I miss you already (and of course you too Edward)._

_Love you,_

_Mom xoxo_

I opened the fridge with much trepidation since there was no telling what concoction disguised as dessert Renee left. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw a store bought Boston mud cake from Bella's favourite bakery. Renee really did know how to cheer her up. I decided I would wait till Bella was awake to eat it. So I just grabbed the fixings for a sandwich and made one for Bella for when she woke up.

Turning on the T.V. softly, I flicked through the channels finding not much interesting and settled on a music channel, which just played video clips. Outside, thunder started rumbling and I was glad the storm held off until we were back home. The weather today was bleak and gave off a foreboding feeling I couldn't shake off. Like something huge was expected. I was half anticipating a call from Alice telling me one of her _'feelings', _that little pixie was kind of crazy sometimes.

Bella came down after about an hours worth of napping and I saw that she had changed into her sleep shorts and her favourite _what-used-to-be-white-but-is-now-bordering-on-see-through_ shirt she wouldn't let go of.

"I made you a sandwich, it's in the fridge next to the _dessert_ your mom left."

"Fuck my mom made something? I didn't smell anything burning this morning."

"Give your mom some credit Bells, she tries." I could hear the fridge door opening then shut loudly.

"Thank fuck, it's my favourite and it's from Laurent's! I can't wait to get a huge piece of that in my mouth."

"That's what she said!"

"Fuck off! And thanks for the sandwich by the way." She said between bites.

"Someone's hungry."

"Well I could only handle so much casserole in one day."

Just then three sharp raps sounded from the front door.

"You want me to get it?"

"Could you? I think I've got like rocket stuck in my teeth or something, I can feel it." I left her examining her teeth using the toaster as a makeshift mirror.

I walked to the front door and opened it slightly. By the look on Jacob's face I could tell he was surprised to see me there. A look of anger flashed on his face before it was replaced with a look I interpreted as trying to be a _yeah-that's-cool-I-don't-give-a-shit-you're-here _one. I guess I should've left my car on the driveway rather than putting in Charlie's garage, kind of ease the element of surprise somewhat.

"Hey Cullen, didn't know you'd be here."

"Yeah, her parents asked me to help mind the house while they were gone." I said shrugging. Just then Bella ran into his arms. I just walked back into the living room.

"Wow, you really did come to visit. How'd you get here?"

"Dad let me use the car."

It was getting awkward now, I didn't really want to become a third wheel so I figured I'd give them time together and give Tanya a visit too. I recall her telling me her parents had a date tonight so her and her sisters Kate and Irina would be home. This sounded like a good idea since Jasper and Alice would no doubt be _reuniting_. Although, I didn't want to leave Bella alone with him, but then essentially she is his girlfriend so I'm sure she'd appreciate the space, so my mind was made up and I'd go see Tanya. We did need to have a discussion about our relationship after all.

"Hey Bella, I'm just gonna head out to see Tanya for a bit okay, I'll be back in a bit."

"You don't have to go."

"I know, but I want to go see her."

"Oh of course! Tell her hi for me?"

"Will do. Take care."

"Catch ya later Jacob, I'm off to see my girl for a bit."

"Later Cullen."

On the drive to Tanya's I used the time to reflect on our relationship. The words I had exchanged with Seth made me realise that maybe I rushed into a relationship with her. We had just met through mutual friends and things kind of went from there. Looking back now, it doesn't seem like we know each other that well at all. That's kind of why I was hoping her transfer to Forks High would be successful so we could learn more about each other and be around one another more regularly. Could this thing we have work? Would it go somewhere? Could it lead to love and possibly a more permanent future together? I guess I should give it a shot; I could feel my heart slowly begin to open up to her. Everyone around me was already paired off so maybe I was ready to finally let her in. I would never know if she was _'The One' _if I didn't give her a chance. I think maybe I'm ready.

**BPOV**

After Edward left to go to Tanya's house Jacob and I moved toward the kitchen where I offered to make him something to eat.

"This looks cosy." His voice laced with venom. I turned to see him glare at mom's note on the fridge

"Don't." I said in a warning tone.

"I'm sorry, its just … old habits die hard you know? I can see he's a good guy."

"He is, what's your problem with him anyway?"

"So how's that sandwich coming along?"

We ended up on the couch after eating and I decided to pop a movie in. Jacob was acting kind of distant and I could tell he still had a lot on his mind. He wasn't even watching what was on the screen he just sat there pensively. I wasn't really watching it either, I had my eyes on him, he didn't even feel me staring.

We were at the end of the movie when he finally turned toward me with a pained look in his face. I instinctively reached my hand out to cup his face; he leant towards my palm then quickly pulled back.

"Hey, what's wrong? You know you can tell me anything. No secrets remember?" I looked at him, trying to convey my sincerity with my gaze.

"I… Bella … I …"

"Take your time, take as long as you need." I put my hand on top of his, only for him to pull his from under mine.

"God Bella! Fuck! Why … Why do you have to be like this? You're too good. You're too good for me!" He all but yelled. I had no idea where this was coming from, or where it was going to lead.

"What's going on? What do you mean?" I said in a calm voice, there wasn't a reason to panic right? He's just in a bad place at the moment.

"I just … I just can't do this Bella."

"You can't do what?"

"I can't do _this_." He said motioning his hand between the two of us.

"You don't mean that, I know you don't. Look at me Jacob! You don't mean it. I know you just need space, some time and I'm more than willing to give it to you. I know everything just seems so ... out of place this past week, but we can get through this, I'm here to help you. Just let me in."

"No! You don't understand. I'm not good for you. This week … I just … Bella … No … I can't do this! It's wrong. You don't need me."

He just left and I was left trying to process what just happened. What the fuck just happened? All I managed to understand was that he thought I was wrong for him and he couldn't be in this relationship anymore. I just sat there; confused at the situation I was in. Everything was fine between us this morning throughout the funeral and even afterwards at the Clearwater's. What the hell happened that made him pull away from me? I would wait. I would give him time. So I just sat there, vaguely aware of the draught seeping into the house, the thunder clapping outside and the smell of summer rain.

**EPOV**

I was now at home, I didn't stay long at Tanya's. I don't know if I'd ever go back there again. It was too much. So here I am punching the shit out of my punching bag in the work out room. I needed to cool off, and Jacob's car was still parked at Bella's. If I didn't control my anger I could've possibly taken it out on him, and the guy may be an ass sometimes but he doesn't deserve that today of all days. I was in such a rage I fucking forgot to wrap my hands. I'd pay for it later. But right now the burn felt good. I kept hitting that bag, picturing that motherfucker. This is why you don't put yourself out there. I can't believe I even fucking entertained the thought of lo… someone. Fuck I can't even think about the word.

"Fuck!"

I continued beating up the bag, letting it all out. I kicked the shit out of it too. It felt good. I could feel my muscles burn with every hit. A couple jabs here, and a couple right hooks there. Fuck it felt good to just _hit_ something. But the anger just kept festering as I thought back to the events that unfurled tonight.

_I was sitting in my car parked outside of Tanya's house. The lights were on so I knew her and her sister's were home. I was just sitting there thinking about how I would tell her what she wanted to hear, tell her that I'm ready to take the next step in our relationship. I was a fucking nervous wreck. Yeah confident Cullen looked like the biggest pussy out. I need to man up and just tell her._

_I exhaled a huge breath and pumped myself up. This would be good. This would make her so happy. I was ready. I finally grew the balls to get out of my car and walk up the driveway, but I decided to buy some time and lit a cigarette. I noticed another guy approach. He was slightly shorter than me, stocky in a borderline fat sort of way with blond hair. He looked older than me, a year or two maybe._

_He acknowledged me with a very guy nod. "Sup." Seriously? Who the fuck still says that!_

"_Hey." He pulled out one of his own cigarettes and sparked up. Great! Company, just what I fucking need._

"_You here to see Kate?" I asked. Kate was Tanya's older sister, who was still single._

"_Nah, I'm here to see Tanya actually. She said she's got something to tell me." He said while taking a drag. Okay then. I didn't say anything. Just nodded. What the fuck do I say to that?_

_He thought my silence meant for him to continue. "Yeah I hope she's here to tell me she's broken up with that high school kid she's going out with, and is finally gonna consider dating a real man. Then I hope we get to fucking because Lord knows I haven't gotten my dick wet in a week, know what I'm sayin'?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_So who are you here for? Irina?"_

"_No one actually, I'm just their neighbour, using their driveway to smoke. I better get going." I just stubbed my cigarette out while he finished his own. I rushed to my car so I could avoid being seen by the Denali's. I took out my phone and decided I needed to call Tanya. For all I know that guy could be fucking around and bullshitting. Tanya's a pretty girl, I'm sure there would be guys desperate enough to think they had a chance._

_She picked up on the 7__th__ ring._

"Eddie! I wasn't expecting to hear from you? I thought you'd be busy with the funeral stuff and all. How's Bella doing?"_ I fucking hate being called Eddie, and hearing her say Bella's names felt dirty, I couldn't help but feel like anything that came out of her mouth was full of shit now._

"Yeah I just thought I'd see what you're up to. Any plans tonight?"

"No, no plans tonight. Just going to stay in my room maybe watch some T.V. - you know boring stuff."

_Just then I saw the guy get up and motion for the door. He rang the doorbell. I could hear it in the background of the call._

"You guys expecting company?"_ I asked, anxious to see what her answer would be._

"No, no one, just the pizza guy. Kate and Irina decided to go out so I ordered in." _I then saw the door open and Tanya wrapped her legs around the guy, while she was still on the fucking phone with me. Bitch._

"That's what I thought." I said under my breath.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Just do me a favour will you." _I tried to say in my sweetest voice._

"Anything baby." _I got out of my car and casually leaned on the side facing her house._

"Look out the front of your house." _With that I hung up, gave her a big fucking wave and flipped them the double bird. She stood there shocked and the guy was completely confused. I got in my car and sped home, not caring if I got pulled over._

_I stormed in to the house punching the first wall I saw, Esme just stood there gaping at me. She knew something was wrong._

"_Edward honey, what's wrong? Is Bella okay? Why aren't you there with her? Did something happen at the funeral?"_

"_Bella's fine mom, her boyfriend's over right now. I went to go see Tanya. Fuck I … just drop it okay? I don't want to talk about it."_

"_Let me know if you need anything okay. Anything honey. I love you."_

"_Fuck!" _I couldn't feel anything but anger even hearing it from my mom.

"_Honey, just take it out on the punching bag. I'll have your father fix the wall in the morning." _

"_Sorry about the wall mom."_

That lead me to where I am now. Punching the ever-living shit out of this fucking bag. I should've hit the cunt, he was right there. Tanya's such a bitch for fucking me over. Fuck! I treated her like a fucking princess, I know I didn't fuck her but its not like I didn't pleasure her in other ways. I made her come more than once time and time again. I was never selfish with her. I always put her needs first. I guess I just couldn't give her enough. But fuck I was going to give her everything. I was so fucking close! She wasn't who I thought she was when we first met.

After my knuckles were feeling a little raw I decided to go up to my room and dip into mine and Bella's stash of alcohol for a shot, just one – I didn't want to rock up to her's wasted. Then went out on my balcony to have a few cigarettes. I had been here for the past 3 hours and I decided I had cooled down enough to go back to Bella's. Jacob surely would have left by now. I just pulled my shirt back on and decided to just shower at her place since I left my toiletries in my overnight bag.

I walked the short way to Bella's house, not caring about the rain pouring down on me since I was already drenched; and noticed that Black's car was indeed gone and the front door was wide open. Jesus! Anyone could've just walked in. The house was eerily quiet and dark, the only light coming from the blue on the flat screen. I walked in cautiously and found Bella just sitting there facing the T.V. completely unaware of my presence. What the fuck happened?

"Bella, sweetheart. What's wrong?" I asked gently.

Nothing. She said nothing. Did _nothing_.

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**Thanks for reading! Leave me some love? Anyone?  
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	11. Chapter 11

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**Thanks to those who put my lil ole' story as a favourite and those who made me a story/author alert. Many thanks :)**

**Chapter songs: _Sweet Dreams_ - Marilyn Manson (Eurythmics cover), _The Fighter_ - After The fall, _Apple Orchard_ - Beach House  
**

**Sorry if I've left any errors!  
**

**Onward with the story!**

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x**

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**Ch 11 I'm Sorry, What?**

**EPOV**

It was now October, Bella hadn't said a word about what happened that night with that asshole, and she hasn't mentioned him like at all. She just continues to act like nothing happened, an out of mind out of sight type thing. It was still unsettling for me; I know she needed the closure. I know it's a bit hypocritical of me since I haven't really resolved things with Tanya either. In my opinion she made her bed and mother fucking slept in it. There was nothing left to be said. It hurt like a bitch knowing I was so close to letting her in. I find it hard to trust people now, I'm always wary of their intentions.

Bella's 17th birthday had passed last month and it was a small get together with just friends and family. Nothing too big despite Alice's protests, she was on the verge of ordering a cake that could feed fifty; when I reminded her that a small cake from Laurent's would suffice. It was very Bella, simple yet elegant.

Ever since Harry's funeral Seth and I kept in contact. He's much like the little brother I had always wanted, although I got stuck with Emmett instead. It was nice to have someone look up to you in that way. I remembered a conversation we had while he was over here concerning that asshole that broke Bella's heart.

"_Hey man!"_

"_Hey Seth! Long time no see."_

"_Yeah I know. School's killing me already and Leah's being a bitch."_

"_How is she anyway? And your mom?"_

"_Mom's managing, I still catch her crying here and there. But Leah, man she has a serious stick up her ass 24/7. Her and Jacob seem to be fighting or whatever since they don't hang around each other anymore. I don't know what the problem is." Looks like I didn't have to try too hard to get any information. I liked where this was going._

"_How long has this been going on?"_

"_I don't know just after the funeral I guess. But they were already being weird the day after my dad … ya'know." I knew what he meant. Seth was still trying to cope with the loss._

"_Seen him around the rez with some girl. Don't know if they're dating. Looks like he's moved on fast."_

"_I thought they were on a break maybe. That he needed space or something. Bella hasn't really said all that much about what happened so I'm only assuming." _

_This was going to kill her. I just wish I had hit that motherfucker that night. Fuck! If only I had gone straight to her house instead of punching that wall, it should've been his face. I feel so guilty about that. She needed me and I wasn't there for her._

"_Yeah I guess nobody knows what really happened. Billy's disappointed in him."_

Since I couldn't exactly speak to Bella about it I had a conversation with Alice in the hope she would know a bit more about the situation than I did. She told me her suspicions of his infidelity although stupidly thinking it was Bella she could hear on the phone with him.

"_That fucker! You know while I was in New York I had this crazy feeling that something wasn't right. I got this call from his phone one day, thinking Bella was using it, but then I heard some chick in the background, I stupidly thought it was Bella. Well there was a whole lot of moaning and I heard something about a condom, and it doesn't take a genius to figure that shit out. Of course it wouldn't be Bella, she would've said something if they started doing _that_."_

I saw red. That fucking motherfucking asshole cunt low life was fucking cheating on Bella. All I could see was red. That sorry fucker needs to pay.

"_Edward calm down, I can see that vein on your forehead is about to burst. Don't do anything rash. Let Bella figure this out on her own. You can't keep fixing her all the time. Let her fix herself. If worse comes to worse by all means say something, but trust me Bella needs to get closure for herself."_

She regrets not saying anything, and not trusting her _'feelings'. _I have a feeling if anyone would know what the fuck happened. - it would be Leah she and that asshole were pretty close up until all hell broke loose. I would just try and get Bella to talk to me about it, talk to _someone, _and hopefully she'll speak to Leah. She can't keep bottling her feelings up.

**BPOV**

It had been months since the incident with _him_. I couldn't help but feel abandoned. Sure I'd try and smile and act like everything was okay, but Edward was on to me. He could see through the mask I was putting on.

I'm still in a limbo of sorts. Do I wait for him to come back and give me a valid reason? I needed the closure. Fuck do I need the closure. He owes me that at least. I didn't want to be pathetic; I'd let him go. He didn't want me. But that doesn't mean it's okay. It fucking hurts.

I still don't understand what the fuck happened that night. It seems like all a blur to me. I can't seem to recall what happened during the time after _he _left and Edward found me.

"_Bella, sweetheart. What's wrong?" I could hear a smooth voice calling to me. _

"_Bella?" I wanted to respond but I had no words._

"_Bells?" Arms were clutching me. I turned to the arms and voice._

_Edward was angry. "Did he … did he just leave you here? Like this." He was pinching the bridge of his nose. He is angry._

_I still couldn't say anything. I just nodded._

"_Fuck! What happened? Are you hurt? Did he … Did he try anything with you? Fuck! Tell me Bella! Say something!"_

"_I'm tired. I just want to lie down." He lifted me up to my room._

"_I'll just go downstairs and watch some T.V. if you want some space Bells." I flinched at the word._

"_Stay. I don't want to be alone."_

_Edward lay there with me, holding on to me while I let the first teardrop fall._

_We just lay there like spoons as my sobbing subsided. Soothing circles on my forearm. Keeping my eyes closed I decided to break the silence._

"_How was Tanya's?" I decided to try and shift some attention off my situation. The soothing circles stilled. Had I said something wrong? He hesitated, took a deep breath and answered in a monotone voice._

"_We're over. She's been cheating on me. I didn't stick around long enough to find out how long."_

_Okay … that I wasn't expecting._

"_How … how did you find out then?" I asked cautiously. Finally opening my eyes and feeling the familiar sting from my tears, I turned around so that I was facing him to gauge his reaction. That's when I noticed his hands. His knuckles were cut up pretty bad, but I didn't notice any injury on his face or anything._

"_I was finally going to tell her that maybe you know … that I _care _… _cared _for her a lot you know?" Ah … he was going to say those three words. "I was too nervous so I bought some time and just had a cigarette on her driveway before going in. Then the asshole comes up and sparks up next to me. I assume he's there for Kate since he looks about her age. But he said he was there for Tanya. Said he was fucking her Bells."_

_I just saw red. What the fuck was her problem! I pushed aside all my hurt and felt so bad for Edward. That was a fucking terrible way to find out._

"_Yeah, oh it gets better. I called her when I made it back to my car; see what she'd say. The motherfucker rang the doorbell; she said it was the pizza guy for fuck's sake! Then I saw her open it and wrap her legs around him."_

"_Did you … did you get in a fight or something? Your hands."_

"_Yeah with my wall, and my punching bag. I was gonna go straight here but I noticed his car was still here, fuck if only I did I could've hit him instead. He deserves it. The fucker! Are you going to tell me what happened?"_

"_I will … when I'm ready. I don't really know what happened myself. I'll take you up on that offer to hit him if I feel it's necessary, but after I get a punch in first."_

"_Okay, when you're ready. Anyway, how do you feel about a huge slice of Boston mud with your name on it."_

"_This is becoming somewhat of a habit isn't it? Needing to fix me up all the time."_

"_I wouldn't have it any either way. Besides, you're fixing me too. I really need a friend right now. This day fucking sucks."_

Edward and I were dealt with shitty cards. Our relationships fell apart simultaneously that night. I have so much anger towards Tanya because Edward didn't deserve that. He treated her a whole lot better than I got treated. It took me a while to realise that what I had with _him _wasn't right. He didn't put an equal amount of effort into our relationship as I had. I invested my whole self and now that I look back, it seemed like he kept me around to just get him off. We hardly went anywhere, when we saw each other it would be me going over to his house and end up doing something. He never took me out on proper dates, didn't bother. I was so stupid. He was full of shit, empty words and empty promises.

I was pulled from my bitter thoughts as the doorbell sounded. The person standing in front of me was someone I hadn't expected and someone I hadn't seen for months. It was Leah.

"Leah? What are you doing here, ummm if you're looking for Seth he's probably over at Edward's it's two houses down." I said nervously.

"No, I know where he lives. I came to see you actually. I was hoping we could talk."

"Sure, come in." I said motioning towards the living room where I gestured for her to take a seat on one of the couches. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No I'm good. I actually came here to say sorry." She said looking at me with pleading eyes.

I didn't quite understand what she was sorry for. "I don't understand Leah. Look I know you're his best friend and you chose his side, your loyalty to him …" I didn't know what else to say.

She looked like she was struggling to get the words out.

"No, that's not what I meant. That's not why I avoided you. Jacob and I … Jacob and I we don't talk anymore actually. I pretty much hate him." What? This came as such a surprise to me.

"What do you mean?"

"We had a fight, a huge fight one night. You remember at my dad's funeral, we weren't speaking to each other." I remembered how they avoided each other like the plague.

"Yeah I do."

"Well we had a fight because of you." I was shocked.

"What … what do you mean because of me?"

"Before I say anything more I just want to tell you that I'm so sorry. Please just remember that okay?"

I took a deep breath. I knew whatever I was going to hear would hurt me. I couldn't help but think maybe if it had to do with me, him and Leah. Oh God! What if they were seeing each other behind my back. I must've had an incredulous expression on my face so she quickly tried to explain. I must be a masochist because I couldn't bring myself to tell her to stop.

"As you know, he used to tell me everything. Like everything Bella. Well he told me he had been seeing this girl Vanessa, just hanging out and stuff you know. I thought it wasn't serious because he had you. That was until I saw a message on his phone from her calling him 'Jake' and asking when they'll meet up and that she missed him. I started teasing him, calling him 'Jake', but he was getting really pissy with me. It was a bit odd, him being so defensive about this girl. Well it was the night before my dad passed and he told me he was in love with the girl and they were having sex already. I just got so mad at him. I hated him. But then my dad passed and I needed my best friend. It wasn't until I calmed down and it came back to me. We had an even bigger fight after you left the hospital with Edward. I was so angry at him for doing this to you while you were there taking care of him, of my family. You're such a selfless person. He didn't deserve you. I figured it wasn't my place to say anything so I didn't. I felt so guilty though Bella you have to know that. I'm so sorry." She broke down into tears. Leah hardly ever cried unless it was a good reason. I was reaching out to hug her but she was pulling away from me.

"I don't deserve your kindness Bella. I'm sorry."

I was surprised I was able to keep calm, I would break down later in private. I could do this, hold out for a few minutes till she left.

"Thank-you for letting me know. I just hate the son of a bitch for not telling me straight up. Did he think I couldn't handle it?"

"That's why I had to tell you, I know he's a coward for not saying anything. I had a feeling he would leave you without explanation."

"I'm just sorry I didn't break up with him first." I said bitterly. He robbed me of that too. That's all he ever did, takes and takes.

"I'm so sorry Bella, I hope with time you can forgive me." She sobbed into my embrace.

"Leah there's nothing to forgive I promise."

She left shortly after that. I was grateful that my parents had left to go on a double date with Carlisle and Esme so I had the house to myself. I ran up to my room and put my navy blue button down I stole from my dad's closet on and got my paints ready. I ran down to my little studio pumped up some music loudly not caring since I was home alone and I painted. I didn't pay attention to what I was doing. I just reached for the tubes of gouache and violently stroked the brush on the canvas. I felt disgusted, used and above all else mad as fucking hell, with him, with me. I grabbed the tins of acrylic lined up against my wall and just threw it onto the canvas, spilling the red paint everywhere, it splattered onto my skin, my hair and all over my button down. It looked I was bleeding, I may as well have been. I fell on my knees clutching my chest for air, and cried.

**EPOV**

I was in my room when I could hear loud music coming from outside. I sounded like there was a party going on in our street. I went out on my balcony so I could check it out. It didn't sound like it came from any of our other neighbours apart from Bella's; it was her taste in music playing after all. This was quite uncharacteristic of her. Unless she was dancing around in her house, which I somehow doubt, as Bella and dancing don't go together that well.

I put on my grey hoodie and went to her house, letting myself in with the spare key. The music was coming from the studio Charlie and Renee set up for Bella in the spare room. I followed the music and found Bella covered in red paint on the floor. It would've been a hilarious situation had I not seen the pained expression on her face. She was crying, so I ran straight over to her.

"Don't, you'll get dirty." She sobbed, trying to stop me from coming near her.

"I don't care." I really didn't, it could be washed or replaced. She's more important. So I sat on the floor and lifted her onto my lap.

"Bad day sweetheart?" I tilted her chin so her eyes met mine.

"You could say that. Leah came over today." I tensed. I know I had wanted her to speak to Leah to get some sort of explanation. I just didn't know to expect.

"He was cheating on me." She said in a hushed tone. My suspicions confirmed.

"What! With Leah! That mother fucking son of a bitch! How could he do that to you? How could she do that to you?" I knew something wasn't right. But Leah!

"No, no. She came to tell me it was with another girl. Vanessa." She chocked out. "Leah knew, but thought it wasn't her place to tell. She's felt guilty ever since. I don't understand Edward. I gave him everything. I really wasn't enough. Maybe it's because I didn't have sex with him and he found someone who would." I couldn't believe what she was saying.

"I can't believe your saying that. He's a fucker for not respecting you. You're right, he doesn't deserve you Bella. You deserve someone better, someone worthy of you okay." She nodded timidly.

"You know Seth told me a while ago that he'd seen the fucker around the rez, I'm only assuming that it's probably _her."_

"Why didn't you say anything to me?" I felt guilty now.

"I'm sorry I didn't, I just didn't know what to make of it. You didn't really tell me much about what happened that night."

"I'm sorry too. I just wasn't ready. I didn't really understand but now I do." She laughed a humourless laugh.

"You know he didn't actually give me a reason, he just said he couldn't do it anymore, I'm just stupid for thinking it had to do with Harry's death, that he was pushing everyone close to him away." I was getting so angry. I wanted to punch that son of a bitch.

"You still gonna let me beat the shit out of him?" I had to ask.

"I want to do the honours first." She finally smiled a genuine smile.

"C'mon let's get you cleaned up." I carried her up to the bathroom and unbuttoned the paint shirt and pulling my own paint-covered hoodie off.

"You shower first, I'll just put these in the wash okay."

I quickly went down to the laundry room where I pulled my pants off since they had red handprints on them and putting the soiled clothing in the washing machine. I stood in my white wife beater and black boxers thinking about how shitty it felt to be cheated on, how she didn't deserve to be treated like that. It's strange how our lives parallel like this, in a sick sort of way. What the hell is wrong with the universe, what is it trying to tell us?

After Bella had her quick shower I jumped in taking one too as some of the paint had managed to get on my hair also. I got out towelling my hair off and with one wrapped around my hips.

I went to Bella's dresser and found a clean pair of my boxers and another wife beater I kept there. She was curled up on her side staring at a spot on the wall intently. I came to lie down next to her.

"Hey don't think about it too much okay. It's his loss. You'll find someone better."

She turned to face me. Eyes solemn.

"How did you … how did you do it? Cope I mean, you know with Tanya and all?"

"I just … I guess it was easier. I didn't _love_ her. I was close to it, but I'm glad it happened that way. If I did, tings would be different." It was so hard to say that word. Let alone ever feel it towards another person.

"Can we just lay here a while? It just hurts so bad." Her doe eyes looked up at me pleadingly.

"Of course sweetheart." And so we did just that, until sleep claimed us.

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"You know how it is my friend  
In the boxes of those picture frames  
Hold your inside 'cause you're cold at night  
Warm your heart, love, 'cause you're by my side

Let's lie down for awhile  
You can smile  
Lay your head in the old  
Old fashion"

_Apple Orchard_ – Beach House

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**Thanks for reading!**

**I'm thinking a chapter or two away till these two open their eyes.**

**Please let me know your thoughts by leaving a review.**

**xx  
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	12. Chapter 12

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters. I just like to play make believe and dress ups with them :)**

**THANKS ASH for always leaving love! I probably would've already given up if not for your eagerness for updates :)  
**

**Chapter songs: _Knife_ - Grizzly Bear, _Bulletproof_ - La Roux, _She Will Be Loved_ - Maroon 5**

**Story is moving along. Definitely. Suffering a bit of a cold, winter is a bitch, so again sorry for overlooked errors.  
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**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x**

**P.S underage drinking and smoking in this one, I'm going to make it so the legal drinking age is 18 like where I'm from, so it'll only be a year of being badass for them.  
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**Ch 12 The Past, The Present & The Future?**

I woke up with a feeling of warmth snuggling my side and the familiar smell of milk, honey and just cleanliness. Edward. He was starting to stir so I gently ran my fingers through his unruly hair.

"Morning Edward." I croaked out. My throat felt so scratchy from the crying I did the night before. He held onto my side tighter and didn't want to wake up.

"Edward wake up, I'm hungry, I haven't eaten since yesterday afternoon. And we have to get ready for school. C'mon." I nudged him in the ribs this time. I didn't want to be late for class.

Lucky it was only 6 o'clock; I could give him a few more minutes. I used this time to think things over, think about what Leah had to say. I knew what I was going to do when I get home this afternoon. I was going to see _him. _We, no _I_ needed to talk; I needed to tell him exactly what's on my mind.

Edward finally roused from his sleep when I ran my hand through his hair for a second time.

"Morning Bells how are you this morning."

"I'm feeling better, thanks for staying with me. C'mon lets make some breakfast, we didn't eat last night."

I walked to the bathroom to wash my face, what I saw in the mirror didn't amuse me. My eyes were once again puffy so I know I'd have to put some eye cream on after I had a shower. Edward came in and washed his face too.

"We look like hell Bells." He said looking at our reflections in the mirror.

"At least you don't have puffy eyes! Can you tell that I've been crying? I don't want to alarm my mom."

"Sort of, just say you had one of your sneezing fits or something."

"I'm pretty sure she can see through that shit, she's way too perceptive."

"C'mon Bells I can hear your stomach rumbling from here lets eat."

We decided to make blueberry pancakes and bacon for breakfast, Edward and I worked pretty well together in the kitchen. If it were Alice and I we would probably have one thing or another burnt, bless her no matter how hard she would try something would go wrong.

We were eating in a comfortable silence when mom finally made an appearance. She was already ready for work; she's a kindergarten teacher at the local primary school. I set a plate for her and we all ate together happily.

"Hey mom."

"Morning Renee." Edward and I said simultaneously. We laughed and said "Jinx" at the same time. Mom just rolled her eyes and greeted us a good morning.

"Your mom knows you're here by the way." She said looking at Edward. "We all got home late last night and figured you'd be here since all the lights were off at your house, you should still call your mom and let her know where you are."

"Yeah it totally slipped my mind, I'll run home after this and give her a kiss to appease her." I'm glad he didn't say anything along the lines of "I didn't think about it because there was an emergency with Bella."

Edward left to go to his house like he said shortly after breakfast, while I got ready for school. I decided I would make an effort to look nice today. I admit I hadn't really put any effort whatsoever since the clusterfuck that was my relationship ending; Alice scolded me for coming to school in sweat pants one day, I just couldn't care less. I wanted today to be a fresh start for me. And I wanted to hurt _him _when I saw him after school, not physically but with my outfit. Show him what he threw away. I wanted to show him I didn't need him and I was better off. I'm a strong independent woman.

After having a quick shower, I pulled out my black lace bra and boy shorts, Alice was right in saying that wearing sexy under garments gave you an empowering feeling. I didn't care if it was October; I was going to wear a skirt today. I picked out my high waisted one that had a print that looked like it belonged on one of Pollock's canvases and paired it with a simple white singlet top. I threw on my denim button down and left it unbuttoned, rolling up the cuffs. I can't believe I found it in an op shop for only $4, it was loose and very comfortable. I didn't do anything to my hair, just leaving it down and wavy. I was good to go. All I needed was my bag, combat boots and an overcoat. I looked in the mirror and was impressed with what I managed in just 30 minutes including shower time. I jumped in my truck and headed for school, with my head held high and a genuine smile that hadn't graced my face in a long time.

**EPOV**

I pulled into the parking lot, and parked next to Bella's truck in our usual spots. I got out of my car and noticed she was still inside hers so I walked out to her door. Just as I reached her door, it swung open and she looked different. She looked happier, and had an air of confidence about her that wasn't present yesterday. She looked beautiful as usual, in her distinct style. She was wearing blue today, I've always told her how lovely that colour looks on her.

"You look lovely today, not that you don't always." I complimented.

"Thanks, and you don't have to lie. I know I looked like shit the past couple of months. I'm trying now. You don't look so bad yourself." She said laughing.

I took a glance down at my outfit for today. I just threw whatever I saw on. I didn't really fuss too much. I was wearing my comfy blue jeans with a rip on the knee, a grey t-shirt, my army green overcoat that had a hood; a pair of black leather boots with tan laces and had my satchel that slung on my shoulder. Glancing back at Bella who now put her overcoat on, we pretty much co-ordinated with one another, with the denim, the coats and boots. I too ended up joining in her laughter. It sounded good to hear her laugh on her own accord; it didn't sound forced or anything.

"I think we hang out together too much, look at us." She said while shaking her head.

"Nah, I think we compliment each other perfectly. You're looking better since I left yours this morning. What gives?"

"Yeah, I guess I am. I thought about everything and it made me realise I'm better than this. You know? I shouldn't have let a guy make me feel like shit for so long, so I'm taking control again." I was glad to hear this. It seemed she was having an epiphany of sorts. I was starting to see a new Bella. This new Bella was even more perfect if that were even possible.

We were soon met with Jasper and Alice, and together we walked towards the main building for our respective classes. Alice and I had homeroom together while Jas and Bella were in the same one.

"So you and Bella look cute in your matching outfits." She said rather nonchalantly.

"Totally wasn't planned. I left her house before we got ready for school this morning." I said rolling my eyes.

"She told me what happened yesterday, looks like our suspicions were correct. Can't believe that asshole would even think of cheating on her, she's beautiful, caring, smart, funny – she's the complete package."

"Yeah I don't understand why people do that." I said thinking about my own past situation.

Alice remembered what happened and suddenly shot me a look of pity.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bring it up. I just … I just don't understand you know? Both you and Bella are good people, it just doesn't make any sense."

"Don't worry about it Alice." I wanted to change the subject already.

"You'll find the right girl soon, trust me."

"I'm not looking." It was true, entering another relationship was far from my list of priorities right now.

"Maybe that's the problem Edward." She said with that all-knowing Alice look. I was just plain confused.

**BPOV**

The bell signalling the end of school had rung and I made it back to my truck avoiding the others. I told them at lunch that I had something to take care of straight after school. Edward looked perplexed, as I hadn't mentioned anything about it this morning.

I drove the familiar way to La Push; it had been a while since I came here. I was slightly nervous, but confident at the fact that I would get the last word in and ease my mind. I needed to do this to finally start over. I saw the familiar red house getting closer. _It's now or never_ I told myself. It was about time. I just hoped to God he went home straight after school, preferably alone.

I pulled up to his driveway, sat in my truck for 2 minutes to calm some of my nerves then I walked straight up to his door and knocked loudly three times. I waited for what seemed like an age but was probably more like a minute, till the door swung open and I was met with the son of a bitch himself. He saw me and at least had the decency to look guilty. He wasn't wearing a shirt just a pair of black basketball shorts, and I was thinking _God doesn't he own a shirt!_

No words were spoken. He just stepped aside as I walked straight to the living room. I wasn't going to sit because this wouldn't take long. Not at all.

He broke the silence.

"I didn't expect to see you here." I noticed he was ogling me, it used to make me feel good and wanted but now – now it just made me feel sick and further disgusted with him.

"Yeah well I am, this won't take long." He tried to say something but I cut him off.

"Shut-up and just listen. Look … I don't know why you couldn't have just been a decent fucking person and told me to my face, you had the fucking opportunity, and don't say you tried to spare my feelings, because that's bullshit and you know it!"

"I-"

"No! I'm not finished! I spent so much time, so much fucking time thinking about what the fuck happened you know? I kept thinking you just weren't coping with Harry's death and that you were in a bad place." I laughed bitterly. "But no, you fucking cheated on me, for God only knows how long that went on for. You took the easy way out and said you 'couldn't do it anymore'. The guilt ate you up didn't it? You're a fucking asshole you know that! A fucking coward! I'm so glad I never gave myself to you. You were right. You don't deserve me, or Leah's friendship for that matter! She didn't need any of your shit! You're a selfish bastard! I don't want anything to do with you _ever_. Don't try to contact me. Forget we ever happened. I know I have." I threw a small box about half the size of a shoebox at him. It had the few things he had given me during our time together.

"Keep it. I don't want any of it. And you can keep the shit I gave you, mementos if you will. So you'll be reminded of what a fuck up you are. Hope you treat _Vanessa _better."

I took a step closer to him; he had the gall to reach out to me thinking I wanted a parting hug. He couldn't have been anymore wrong. I pulled my right hand into a fist and punched him in the jaw with as much force as I could muster. I was never more grateful that I decided to wear the knuckleduster ring I bought from a designer's market, than at that very moment when I felt it collide with his face.

He stood there in shock as I walked out to my truck and drove off. He didn't come after me. I figured as much. He never did walk me out to it _ever_.

I couldn't help but smile widely on the drive home. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I finally felt like I could take a breathe without it hurting. I was going to be okay.

**EPOV**

It was about 4:30 in the afternoon when I decided to give Bella a visit. Surely she would be back from wherever she went straight after school. I was still in my clothes from earlier since I was too lazy to change and walked the short distance to her house. I rang the doorbell knowing she would be the one to answer. She usually did.

The door opened and I was nearly knocked back. Bella ran straight for me and wrapped her legs around me. I grabbed onto her on instinct to steady the both of us.

"Someone's happy to see me."

"Sorry, it's just I feel so fucking amazing Edward." She blushed.

She still clung onto me so I carried her to the living room.

"Not that I don't mind carrying you, but you're wearing a skirt Bella." I said rather amusedly.

"Shit, I really have no shame. Well lucky it's only you." She got down and plopped herself on the couch.

"So are you going to clue me in on what has you so happy?" I loved seeing her like this, so carefree again.

"I went to see Jacob." I noticed she didn't wince at his name anymore and she actually called him by it. _I_ winced internally. What does this mean? Did he feed her lies and she took him back again? I was prepared to give her the usual speech about him being worthless, and undeserving of her. But I trusted she was finally done.

"I see. So what happened?" I asked cautiously.

"I punched the motherfucker! In the face! I could've gone for the junk but there's no way I'm touching it ever again." She said excitedly.

Okay, that wasn't what I had expected to hear. But I liked where this was going.

"I didn't expect that, does that mean I get to throw a few in now that you've had first dibs?"

"He's not worth it. Trust me." I nodded. Taking her hand in mine, examining it for any injury. I noticed no visible signs of damage (which I was thankful for) and that she wore her knuckleduster ring, I gave her a surprised look at this discovery.

"What? It's not like I did it on purpose! I didn't intend on going there to hit him. I guess my subconscious knew me better than that though." She laughed.

"What else happened?"

"I just told him pretty much I didn't need him, and that he was a coward blah blah blah. I'm so over it. I'm moving on now." I hugged her tightly.

"That's great to hear Bells. I'm so proud of you."

"Yeah me too. Let's celebrate!"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Stoli!" Bella wanted to get buzzed on a school night. This was new.

"I like the sound of that already, and lucky for you mom and dad are in Seattle for a charity event and will be away till Wednesday."

"What are we waiting for? I'll just grab my overnight bag, I'll be quick."

I could hear her yelling out to Renee that she'll be staying over tonight.

I waited for her as usual on the bottom step, so I could carry her bag over to my house. 5 minutes later she came bounding down the steps, still in the same clothes from school but with her bag in hand looking a lot more chipper. She smiled a great big smile in my direction and I couldn't help but return it. I was _really_ looking at her now. She's beautiful, otherworldly. I couldn't help but hear Alice's words from earlier in my head, I finally understood. Maybe all this time I wasn't looking hard enough at what has been in front of me the whole time.

**BPOV**

As I made my way down the stairs, throwing Edward the biggest, cheesiest smile I could muster. I couldn't help but feel a difference in the air. Something was changing and I wasn't sure what. All I know was that it would be a change for the better. I could _feel_ it.

Edward reached out to grab my bag from my hand, when I felt something like an electric shock course through my whole body as our fingers made the slightest contact. It was strange. I looked up at him to see if he had noticed it too, he looked as surprised as I did but it was quickly replaced by another one of his crooked grins.

"Ready to go?"

"As ready as I'll ever be."

I practically skipped over to his house while he laughed at my silliness. We decided to be responsible and cooked dinner together first before we went straight to drinking. We chose to put together pasta Alfredo and a garden salad. While we were making dinner I couldn't help but feel how right this moment felt, I don't know what that meant but it just feels like everything is in its rightful place. I don't know, I'm confusing myself. Edward and I worked in a comfortable silence not needing to fill it in with mindless chatter. When our eyes met I couldn't help but notice the intensity of his stare. He never looked at me like that before; it was like his forest greens were trying to find an answer in my muddy browns.

"What?"

"Nothing, you just look beautiful is all." I couldn't help but blush. Edward always complimented me on my appearance but something about this time made it feel different. My heart was racing in my chest. Could I … Could I possibly have _romantic_ feelings towards him?

"Thank-you." I finally managed to choke out.

Dinner, thank God wasn't awkward, I managed to be normal so he wouldn't think I was being a spaz or anything. We just ate in bowls in front of the T.V. and spoke like we usually did. We cleaned up the dishes together, he washed while I dried.

"Stoli time!" Edward pulled out the full bottle from the freezer, he placed it there while we got dinner sorted. It wasn't ice cold but it was chilled enough.

I was glad the Cullen's house was always at a comfortable temperature so it was perfectly fine for me to walk around without my coat on.

"Let's get this celebration rolling!" I was super enthusiastic to make a toast towards my new found freedom.

We made it up to his room and kicked off our boots, leaving them by his door. I couldn't help but notice how nicely they looked together. _Oh my God what the hell am I thinking? He probably would never return my feelings! He probably just sees me as his little sister. _I mentally chastised myself for even entertaining such thoughts.

Edward was now barefoot in his grey t-shirt I sometimes borrowed, and jeans that were ripped at the knee. I couldn't help but think he looked so perfect. He was pouring two shot glasses with vodka then walked to open his door to his balcony where he was now lighting up a cigarette.

I picked up the two shot glasses and followed him out there, not caring about the slight chill in the air.

I decided to propose a toast. "To new beginnings." And we drank to that. Starting round one of what I'm sure to be many to come.

**EPOV**

We were pretty buzzed by our 7th shot together. We'd have to stop soon if we wanted to make it to school tomorrow. So we decided to give it a rest for now.

"Let's just talk or something or play a game." Bella suggested as we sat on my bed.

I don't know what came over me, but I turned to her and said quite confidently.

"I just want to try one thing." And inched my face closer to hers. She sat still, only her chest moving to inhale and exhale shaky breaths. _It 's now or never_ I thought.

So I did it, I leant forward and touched my lips onto hers. I could feel the sparks shooting through me like I had felt this afternoon when our fingers touched. She didn't respond at first, and I was getting worried I might have possibly fucked up our friendship. But instead she finally responded, taking my top lip while I claimed her bottom. It started off slowly, then became more frenzied. I deepened it by brushing my tongue across her bottom lip seeking entrance to her mouth. I was glad when she complied and moaned into my mouth as our tongues touched. She tasted amazing, alcohol or no alcohol. It was all Bella, so sweet.

Her hands were fisting the hair towards the back of my head, as I was rubbing soothing circles on her hip. We eventually needed to come up for air, so I began my assault on her neck, just below her ear. This little action earned me another moan.

"Fuck that feels amazing, don't stop." She said all breathy. I was glad I found a sweet spot. I tried so desperately not to suck too hard; I didn't want to mark her delicate skin with a hickey although it was fucking tempting. Next time I'd have to leave it somewhere less conspicuous. I went back to her lips where she surprised me by shoving her tongue in my mouth. I couldn't help but groan at her dominance.

After about over half an hour of probably the hottest make out session of my life, Bella and I just lay there staring at one another. Realisation of what had just occurred must've finally hit her when she looked away shyly.

"I'm sorry Bells, I don't know what came over me." I hope she doesn't hate me. She finally looked me in the eye again, but she looked nervous. Then she looked determined.

"Don't be." Did this mean she liked it?

"Does that mean you liked it?" Please say yes!

"Yes I did, but …" Oh no! Here it comes.

"But I hope it didn't feel like you were kissing you're sister or something." She said rather seriously.

I had to laugh at this. "Don't be silly pretty girl, one, I don't have a sister so I wouldn't know, and two I've never felt like you were my little sister. Ever. I did it because I wanted to." I hope she would believe me.

"So what does this mean?" What does this mean? Am I ready for a relationship? Bella isn't just some girl. I've known her all my life. She's perfect for me, she's everything I've ever wanted in a girl. We fit together. Why hadn't I thought of this before?

"What do you want it to mean? I mean … I don't want to scare you but I'm feeling … these feelings for you that I can't explain, these great, intense feelings for you. I think … I think that it's always been you Bella." I said sincerely.

"You know what Cullen. I think it's always been you too. Let's get ready for bed so I can make out with you some more." She sounded more confident and sexy as hell. We didn't need words, I knew from now on she would be _mine_.

I got up and stripped to my boxers. She started taking her skirt and top off. This was something we did in front of each other countless times before, but back then it was different. I didn't really _look _before. Now what I was seeing made my breath hitch. I needed to calm down before I got harder. She was wearing a black lace bra with matching boy shorts. She bent over to pick up my discarded t-shirt and pulled it over her, just going passed her delicious looking ass, hiding it from my view. She's so perfect.

"See something you like Cullen?" She had her back turned yet she could still feel me staring.

"Definitely Swan." I said walking back to the bed and getting under the covers.

"Tap on my window knock on my door  
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day  
Out on your corner in the pouring rain  
Look for the girl with the broken smile  
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved  
And she will be loved  
She will be loved."

_She Will Be Loved_ - Maroon 5

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**Links to outfits on my profile page, be sure to check it out and see their matching boots :)**

**But more importantly FINALLY they are getting somewhere!**

**Thanks for reading, be sure let me know your thoughts by reviewing x  
**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN:** **S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**Methinks you've waited long enough for _something_. Thanks to Ash for always leaving me love.**

**Onward with the story!**

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x**

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"He say, "I know you, you know me"  
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free  
Come together right now over me …

He say, "One and one and one is three"  
Got to be good-looking because he's so hard to see  
Come together right now over me"

_Come Together_ – The Beatles

**Ch 13 Come Together Right Now Over Me**

**EPOV**

"Mmm. Yeah like that." I could feel wiggling on my crotch.

"Don't stop. Harder. More." I swear to God I must've been having a fucking intense sex dream, it felt real. I hated that I was on the verge of waking up; I wanted to sleep some more and enjoy this. It felt so fucking real. I swear I could feel perky breasts in my hand, no bra. Fucking excellent, I like how my mind conjured up this shit. I could feel the nipple harden as my thumb circled it.

"Fuck. Mmm. More." My body was acting on its own; my hands continued their rubbing and I felt myself pinch the pebbled flesh between my thumb and forefinger, applying just the right amount of pressure for it to be pleasurable. I was rewarded with another drawn out moan.

"Mmmmmm."

I could feel myself grind my morning wood in the firm, warm flesh before me. I couldn't help but groan out. This is by far the best fucking dream I've experienced, hands down. It was a sensory overload. So real. I definitely knew I didn't want to wake up anytime soon. I nuzzled into the soft hair in front of my face, inhaling deeply. It was such a mouth-watering combination of strawberries and freesias, so familiar.

Shit! Strawberries and freesias equal _Bella_.

I chanced a peek with one eye open. Yep, it was definitely Bella, and my dick was still definitely hard, if not harder looking at the sight before me. Her hair was sprawled out on my pillows, she had kicked the covers off sometime in our sleep and she was in those sinfully sexy black lace panties wearing _my_ shirt. Her ass was inching towards my crotch. I tried to move back, but she kept coming closer, it was like they were magnets drawn to each other.

Holy fuck! I remembered last night - dinner, Stoli and one hot fucking make out session with Bella. Bella my best friend. Oh fuck! I hope she doesn't hate me. I remember enough to know I initiated it. I willed my dick to go down while I thought about the repercussions of last night. I also had quite the headache forming. I think all the blood that rushed to my dick was slowly making its way back to my other head. I hope she doesn't feel as shitty as I do right now.

"Edward?" She was starting to wake up. Thank God she stopped moving.

"How's your head this morning?" I whispered in her ear.

"I feel like shit. I'm glad we didn't end up finishing the whole bottle, or I'd be _way _fucked. I don't wanna go to school today."

"If you mean by leaving about one shots worth in the bottle that means we didn't finish it, then I'm glad too?" I tried to joke. I'm lame.

"Anyway, not going to school can be arranged. I'll just call your mom and let her know we're feeling sick. I can tell her we used rancid cream in our Alfredo sauce or something."

"You know she'll never buy it, Esme Cullen having out of date dairy products in her fridge is unheard of."

"I can try."

"M'kay." I kissed her forehead and walked outside of my room, phone in hand.

"_Morning Edward. Everything okay?" _She sounded like she was getting ready to head out to work.

"_Yeah I just wanted to let you know Bella and I won't be at school today, we're not feeling to good. We didn't check the used by date on the cream we used in our Alfredo last night and our stomachs aren't agreeing." _Please buy it! She's taking a while to answer.

"_Whatever you say dear. Make sure you both rehydrate yourselves and get plenty of rest. I hope you feel better."_

"_Thanks Renee, will do." _I was just about to hang up when I realised she was much too smart.

"_Oh and Edward, lay off the Stoli on school nights please. You two have a good day now." _Then she hung up. Damn Renee's good.

I crawled back into bed and assumed my position next to Bella.

"How'd it go with mom?"

"Didn't buy it."

"Thought so, I keep forgetting she's in her mid thirties and still likes to party. I won't be surprised if she could hear our drunken shenanigans from my house."

"Fucking cool kindergarten teacher is what. Well at least we don't have to go to school today. What do you feel like doing?"

"I just want to stay in bed for a bit. That okay?"

"Sounds good to me Bells."

We lay for a while, closing our eyes as my mind wandered to last night. I wanted to bring up what happened, but I wasn't sure when an opportune moment would be. I didn't know what to say. Would she remember anything? Or bits here and there like me? I knew things were blurry but I got the general gist of what happened.

"So … are we gonna talk about what happened last night." Okay I guess the moment was now. Fuck what do I say? I was kind of hoping I'd ask this so I could hear what she had to say first. Shit. I'm taking too long to answer. She's giving me the eyebrow.

"Sure." I said scratching the back of my neck, I dropped my hand quickly, crap she knows I'm nervous.

"So we got drunk?" She said surely.

"Yeah."

"And we made out?" I think it was more like tongue fucking if you'd ask me.

"Yeah?" I sounded like an idiot. I was waiting for my voice to break at the rate I was handling this. I may as well be 13 and nervous right now.

"Right." She said while exhaling a breath. "What does this mean? We wont get awkward right?"

"No." What's with my one-worded answers?

"Good."

"Yeah good." She just lay there thinking while I was staring at the same spot on the ceiling for some time now.

"Edward you do realise we're being awkward right now." Shit how do I make things normal?

"Sorry Bells. For what it's worth it was one fucking hot make out session." _And rubbing session this morning_ I mentally added; while wriggling my eyebrows. Hoping to lighten the mood.

"Yeah it was." She sounded in a daze. From the corner of my eye I could see her fingers ghost upon her lips, then lick said lips. Fuck I'd love to kiss them again. Shit what the hell am I thinking. I'm in dangerous territory. Maybe if she initiates it I'll reciprocate, that way I won't be forcing her or anything. That's perfect logic right?

"Painkillers and more sleep?" I suggested.

"Sounds perfect."

I went to grab us two glasses of water and two pills each and made my way back to my bed. I handed Bella hers and quickly took mine. We just lay there on our separate sides and I could feel a little tension building.

"Edward you know you can come closer, you're about to fall off your own bed. Let's lie like we always do." Her warm chocolate eyes were staring intently at my own. I pulled her closer to my side and nestled my head on top of hers as sleep claimed us once more.

I awoke to wriggling in my crotch again. This time I was fully aware it was Bella. I didn't know what to do, should I wake her up?

My dick was getting harder so I think waking her up would be best.

"Bells." I rubbed her arm

"Hmmm? What is it?" Her voice got all croaky again.

"Sweetheart you have to stop moving around so much, if you want me to continue spooning you."

Bella swiftly turned around and that beautiful blush of hers made an appearance.

"Holy fuck! I'm sorry" She could feel my obvious arousal. "Oh God! I don't know what's wrong with me, please don't tell me I didn't try and hump you this morning too." She hid her face in my chest. Shaking her head from side to side.

"You didn't try to hump me this morning?" I said trying not to laugh, but failed as a few escaped.

"Shit! I am _so_ sorry! I don't know what's gotten into me, usually we can sleep without me molesting you." I guess I should fess up too. I pretty much did the same to her.

"Well don't feel so bad Bells, your _humping _kind of prompted me to _hump _you back in my sleep. So ... I'd say we're even." I hope she doesn't hate me.

"Well that explains a lot. I thought I was just having a fucking intense dream this morning. You're pretty skilled in your sleep." And my ego just got boosted.

"I'm even better when I'm awake." Shit, no brain filter. How do I back track. Think Cullen!

"You'll have to show me." What now? I think Bella's filter wasn't working either. We were just staring at each other with matching looks of surprise. She started biting her lip. That fucking juicy bottom lip of hers. It made me lick my own. Fuck it I have to have it. So much for letting her initiate, I'm such a fuck.

I held her tighter to me and kissed her without abandon. I was about to plunge my tongue in her hot little mouth when she pushed me away. Fuck! I made a mistake! I knew I should've let her lead. I was quick to apologise.

"Bella I'm sorry I did that." I hope she believes me.

"Don't apologise, its just … morning breath you know? I'd like to brush my teeth before we continue, I'm sure we taste like stale Stoli and Camels." I let out a breath of relief. Wait a minute 'before we continue' she means that there's more to come right? She had already made it to my bathroom. I could hear the water running and she was humming to herself.

I rubbed my eyes because surely I was dreaming; I dragged my ass out to join her. I got out my green toothbrush and put some minty toothpaste on it. Bella had so much foam coming out of her mouth it was making its way down to her chin. I couldn't help but laugh at her; she bumped my hip in return. I smiled at our reflection in the mirror; this was us - just Edward and Bella.

For some reason we were both brushing our teeth longer than usual. I was nervous as hell.

I rinsed my mouth out while she did the same and we both walked back to settle under the covers.

What happened now? It was easier when it happened spontaneously when we were just in the moment. How do we _continue_? She answered my question as I felt her lips on mine. Well at least she initiated it this time.

The kisses started out slowly, each of us taking turns and testing what the other would like. I then felt Bella's tongue seek entrance into my mouth. I gave her what she wanted and it was a glorious feeling. I fought for dominance and she accepted my tongue happily, I got her to moan after all so I knew she was fucking ecstatic. She tilted her head to the side letting me in deeper. Oh God, it's never felt like _this_ before. I guess she needed some air when she pulled away, smiling at me cheekily.

"Mmm minty fresh."

"You taste pretty fucking delicious yourself." I was now kissing her neck, giving it soft licks. I sat up, pulling her onto my lap where she was now straddling me as I leant against my headboard. Oh fuck, I'm pretty fucking sure she can feel my hardness. Yep she was now grinding herself on me. I steadied her movements with my hands on her hips.

"Sweetheart, you're going to need to stop that or I'll blow my load in my boxers. You don't want that do you?"

"Nuh uh." She looked at me through her impossibly long lashes.

We continued making out, it was torture for me, I could feel her heat through her panties on my thin boxers, thus hitting my aching cock. This is killing me! But I'm going to make it all about her.

I placed hot wet kisses on her neck and again on the spot just under her ear. This made her shiver and involuntarily rub herself on my crotch.

"Mmmm … Edward touch me." Oh fuck!

"Where do you want me to touch you sweetheart?" I said smoothly in her ear. This too made her shiver.

"Anywhere, I just want … mmmm … want your hands on me." Oh sweet Jesus!

My hands slid expertly under my shirt she was wearing, it may as well be her's she looks sexy as fuck in it. They touched the smooth, soft skin of her stomach, moving past her ribs and brushed just beneath her breasts. _This is it_ I told myself. I cupped her breast with my right hand. It fit perfectly. She was getting antsy. I knew what she wanted. She wanted me to stimulate her nipples.

I decided to play with her a bit. "What do you want sweetheart?" I whispered in her ear.

"Edward fucking touch me already!" Hot.

"But I am." I still had her breast in my hand, grabbing the other with my left hand. Giving light caresses but not going to the desired location. Fingers achingly close, but moving away quickly.

"Edward!" Holy shit did she just growl? Who knew?

I decided that was enough torture for her, so I rubbed her nipples with my thumbs, in slow circles. This was so much better while awake. I knew she'd ask me for more pretty soon so I gently pinched them.

"Ohhhh … fuck that's good." Shit I needed to taste her. With one hand still fulfilling her needs, the other went to the hem of her shirt. I needed her to let me know it was okay to proceed.

"Edward Take it off me." She held her arms up for me while I pulled it right off, tossing it on the floor behind her. I looked at her, she was biting that lip again and her blush crept back onto her cheeks, she was shy Bella again. I couldn't help but stare at her perfect breasts and delicious looking pink nipples. I needed to taste them so badly.

"You're perfect." I said honestly.

I couldn't take it anymore; I went straight to her right breast and gently licked her hardened nipples then blew on them. While rubbing her right I sucked onto her left nipple and gave it a little nibble, then gently blew some air onto it.

Bella was lost in the sensation and kept grinding on my crotch. I couldn't help but let out a groan.

"Fuck I'm sorry Edward, I can't help it. I'm just … I'm just … So. Fucking. Wet." Holy fuck and a half! She did not just say her pussy was fucking wet!

"Baby you have to stop saying shit like that if you don't want me to come in my boxers."

"Fuck!"

**BPOV**

Holy shit! I'm so incredibly fucking horny right now! Edward is one skilful motherfucker. I couldn't help but grind onto him, I can feel he's just as into this as I am.

"Bella." Right, stop with the grinding. Ah fuck it! I moved around a bit more. The friction on my kitty was delicious.

"Bella!" He warned through a hiss.

"Like I said. I can't help it." I was one step away from taking care of it myself, I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I rubbed my clit a bit if that meant I would stop moving on his lap. Right? I guess I'd make it easy on him. So I put my right hand in my panties and moved my middle finger in circles on my clit. I moaned shamelessly. Shit why did he stop kissing me?

"Why'd you stop Edward?" I panted. He was just gaping at me. "Edward?" I followed his eyes that were now situated on my pussy. Right, my rubbing probably isn't helping.

"I'm sorry, I'll stop. I just didn't wanna make you uncomfortable by moving on your lap."

"Don't apologise Bella, that's fucking sexy as hell. But … ah … would you mind if I did it for you?" Shit he's blushing! Oh my. And he asked. He didn't just take it upon himself to just do whatever. I appreciated that.

"Mmm … I don't mind at all." I stood, taking my panties off, silently thanking God I waxed recently and was bare. Just as I hooked my fingers around the black lace, Edward's own stopped me.

"Is there something wrong?" I was getting nervous. Did he not want to?

"No. Just … let me do the honours." He pulled them off me, gasped at the sight and put them on his nightstand. I had a feeling I wasn't going to get them back. I sat back down on his lap and we started to kiss again. I felt his hand go back to one of my boobs while the other was on my hip, moving dangerously close to my centre.

Then I felt his fingers gently rub circles on my clit.

"_Fuck_ you're so wet for me." His voice was all husky.

"Mmmm … I like it when you say _fuck_ like that." I copied the way he said it. Perfect enunciation. It was full of need, like he needed to get the word out so bad. His teeth bit his bottom lip ever so slightly as the word left his gorgeous mouth.

"Yeah? Well I like it when _you_ say _fuck_." Holy shit, I know we're not shy at cursing but this … this is fucking sexy. I think my pussy just flooded. He could probably feel it.

He kept rubbing my clit, alternating it with slow gentle circles, then gradually speeding up. Fuck this feels a-mazing! I moaned in delight, receiving a gentle pinch to my clit.

"Feels _fucking_ amazing Edward." I breathed into his ear. I hope my voice was somewhat seductive.

"Then this will be even more _fucking_ amazing." He whispered into my ear, giving me tingles everywhere. I felt him enter one of his fingers in me. I think I literally gasped.

"Mmm you're right, even more _fucking_ amazing." I said back. He was pumping his finger in and out while his thumb continued to rub my clit. So fucking talented.

"Thank-you."

"For?" I managed to gasp out between breaths.

"The compliment." He said smugly. I could hear it in his voice. My forehead was now pressed on his toned shoulder. I must've said that shit out loud. Fuck he entered another finger in me.

"Mmm Edward … So. _Fucking_. Talented!" I could feel myself get wetter, if that were possible and then he was curling his fingers, it felt like he was doing the come hither motion. _Come hither indeed_.

"Come for me baby." Holy shit! Could it be? I mean I am getting pretty close, I could feel the familiar ache. I've never come at another's touch. Holy shit I think I might cry. This shits monumental! I was so scared I'd live a life of tending to my own needs.

"Come for me baby." He repeated. I couldn't deny him what he wanted. Never.

"More Edward. I'm close. So _fucking_ close baby!" His actions never ceased. My hand went to my right nipple and I pinched it just like he had earlier. So many sensations happening at once.

"Baby look at me, I wanna see you come for me." So I did. I moved my head back so we were now locked in an intense gaze.

"Baby I'm gonna come." I panted.

"Now?"

"Uh huh. Now. Oh God!" And I did. I felt myself tighten around his fingers. He groaned and I fucking moaned. I didn't care how embarrassing I sounded.

"_Fucking_ beautiful." He whispered.

I was still in a state of shock. I was in ecstasy. He withdrew his fingers but continued to rub slow circles on my clit to help me ride out my orgasm. The licked his fingers. Fucking hot!

"Mmm you taste amazing baby." He fucking winked at me.

I gave him a chaste kiss and thanked him for the wondrous orgasm.

"Thank-you."

"It was my pleasure." He smiled his crooked grin at me.

"That's a first for me you know? I've never gotten off by someone else."

"I'm glad I'm your first." He said kissing my forehead.

"What about you? Do you want me to ..." I gestured to his cock.

"I'm fine Bella." I looked at him incredulously. Unless he has some kind of superhuman restraint I think not!

"Bullshit Cullen! I _know_ you're hard as fuck, I can _feel _it." And that I could, I had a feeling he was a big boy underneath the boxers.

"Bella honestly its okay." Fuck it, I'm gonna do something about it!

I kissed him again, kissing his neck, just near his collarbone. He moaned. Bingo! My fingers were on the garter of his boxers, and dipped in. He didn't stop me this time. I pulled them off him slowly, keeping all eye contact with him. Then I looked down. Jesus! He is has one impressive peen. I was right in my size estimation. Definitely bigger than asshole's, way bigger, longer, impressive girth and dare I dare prettier? A pretty peen. I should hold in my giggle. No man likes their cock to be laughed at.

"Something the matter? You're staring." Shit. I was. At least he looked amused, like he was trying to hold back a grin. He has a beautiful cock and he knows it. _Cocky_ much? Pun in-fucking-tended!

"Couldn't help myself. I'm impressed."

"You're stroking my ego Bells."

"I'll be stroking something else pretty soon handsome." And I assumed my kissing as my hand _finally_ made contact with Edward's peen. It was smooth and felt velvety. I echoed his words from earlier. _Perfection_.

"You're perfect."

My thumb traced over the tip of his cock, pre-cum already leaking out for me. I used it as lubrication and stroked him slowly from base to tip and back down again. His hand went over mine and he showed me what he liked.

"So good baby. So, so good."

"Yeah?"

"Mmm hmmm." His eyes were closed while he rested against the headboard and I could tell he was enjoying this. Most definitely.

I cupped his balls, massaging them with my other hand while I continued to stroke his glorious cock.

"_Fucking_ amazing baby." I couldn't help but smile big.

I licked and sucked on his neck, while I continued to work on his cock. His eyes opened and they were lust filled. He pulled my head towards him for a kiss and plunged his tongue in my throat. I moaned into his mouth and pumped harder. My pussy was getting wet again. Fucking throbbing with need. Fuck!

"Baby touch me again, I'm wet for you." I needed his fingers in me. Now!

"_Fuck_!"

This time he entered me with two fingers straight away.

"Ohhh _fuck_!" We were both working on each other in perfect synchronization. When he pushed his fingers in my pussy I stroked his cock tighter.

"Baby I'm gonna come."

"Mmm … me too. So close." I felt him curl his fingers again. Prompting my release.

"Yeah like that." I was in heaven.

"Baby … I'm coming." He panted in my ear. I wanted to see his face, so I looked at him; I was biting my lip at the sight before me, it was so erotic. I could feel my release coming.

"_Now_!"

"_Now_!"

We both came the same time. It was beautiful. He looked heavenly when he came. His mouth was slightly open and a fine sheen of sweat had formed on his body from the exertion, it made it look like his skin was shimmering in the light that filtered in from his windows. His eyes were intense; they locked so fiercely on to my own. He gave me a chaste kiss on my forehead, nose then lips. I basked in his affections. Smiling and kissing him the same way in return. I was rewarded with his laughter that I could never get tired of hearing.

I got off his lap and walked to the bathroom to get a wet washcloth for the both of us. After we cleaned up we lay for a bit in our underwear. Trying to come down from our intense highs. Resting my head on his chest while he combed his fingers through my hair. Both of us sighing in satisfaction. I didn't feel one sense of regret, for what just happened. It felt right.

"Let's eat Bella. I'm hungry."

I put his shirt back on while he slipped a fresh one on. We walked hand in hand down to the kitchen with no sense of awkwardness between us.

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***blushes*** **Popped my lemon cherry lol. Don't know if that was any good :/ Hopefully I get better with time, like a good bottle of red. **

**Please let me know how I went?  
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**Apologies for errors I've overlooked.**

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	14. Chapter 14

**AN:** **S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**Thanks Ash & lovinedward4eva for taking the time to review my last chapter. I was quite nervous about it being my debut lemon, as this story is my first attempt at writing. So a huge thanks again!**

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x**

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**Ch 14 Fresh Meat**

I made it back to my house in one piece after trying not to attack him with my mouth every second. I left Edward's at 3 because I knew mom would be home soon. I thought I should grab a shower before she arrived since I could still smell Edward all over me. I couldn't help but sniff on the shirt I decided to keep from last night. It was all milk, honey, strawberries and freesias. It brought a sense of comfort to me.

While Edward and I made brunch we, or more like _I_ decided to have a talk about what transpired last night and this morning.

_I was cutting up a tomato to go into our toasties when I thought we should definitely speak about what happened._

"_So … Edward, I think we should talk." He looked nervous. I guess it's true when they say guys freak the fuck out when you say you 'want to talk'._

"_Uh, sure."_

_I need to ease his pretty mind. "Look before you continue to freak out or anything, I'm telling you now that I don't have an ounce of regret. Okay?" I looked at him and smiled as he let out a huge breath._

"_That's always good to hear. I don't regret anything either." The sincerity in his eyes made his statement evident._

"_Look, I know we probably broke some unspoken friendship code by engaging in the … ummm … _activities _we part took in. I don't really know what it means just yet. But … I think that maybe we shouldn't define it and just go with the flow so to speak. What do you think?" He was in deep thought now._

"_It's just that … I know … I know we both just got out of less than ideal situations, and we're certainly not ready to put a name to what we're doing. Do you understand where I'm coming from?"_

"_Yeah I was thinking the same thing actually. But I think I like the possibilities of where this could go." He came behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist, leaving a chaste kiss on my neck._

"_I think we should keep this to ourselves for now okay? I don't know how everybody will handle this." I squeezed his hand for reassurance. I hope he wouldn't take it the wrong way. I'm not ashamed, its just people need time to adjust to seeing us like _this_._

"_I think that's a good idea. For now."_

"_What? Are you just going to agree with everything I say?"_

"_Uh huh. You're usually always right."_

"_Usually?"_

"_Fine always. Happy now?" I turned around to face him._

"_Yep." He kissed my forehead, nose and lips. I had a feeling this was going to be our thing._

"_I like those little kisses. It's becoming our thing isn't it?"_

"_Yep." Just then the hunger in my stomach made itself known by rumbling loudly. I laughed at this._

"_Time to feed you."_

_After I ate my first ham, cheese and tomato toastie (Edward made us two each, I have a big appetite), we continued our little chat._

"_So you're not going to say anything to Alice?"_

_I thought about this, I know she's my best friend too but I really did want to keep it between us. Telling Alice would force us to put a label to what we're doing. For some reason I don't think a 'Hey Alice! Edward and I have been making out and enjoying mutual masturbation.' Would go down so well and I refuse to call it 'fuck buddies' it doesn't seem to fit. I don't know if we're ready for a full on relationship or anything just yet, I'm pretty much emotionally damaged goods. I don't think I would be good enough for him._

"_I think I'll tell her when we're ready. Telling her now would only force us to label this."_

"_I understand."_

"_You're okay with this right?"_

"_Yeah of course, I won't say anything to Jas either, not that I would ever tell anyone what we do since I don't kiss and tell. I like our little secret." I was glad he understood what I meant._

"_Me too."_

I decided to start prepping for dinner since I didn't really have much to do. I decided to make a creamy roasted pumpkin soup and serve it with crusty sourdough, nothing too fancy or fussy as my head was still throbbing. I chopped the pumpkin and popped them in the oven timing it for 45 minutes.

I decided to give Alice a call since I missed out a whole day of our usual mindless chatter. Hopefully she would be home from school now. I'd ask her to come over.

She picked up on the first ring.

"_Hey Allie, just wondering if you wanna come hang at mine?"_

"_I was hoping you'd say that, I missed you today. I'll be over in ten. Toodles!"_

That was a short conversation. I didn't even get to say bye.

She came exactly ten minutes after ending our call. Alice is always punctual.

"Bella!" She hugged me tightly. "It feels like ages since we've seen each other, I missed you today!"

"Relax pixie we saw each other at school yesterday." I said rolling my eyes at her.

"Yeah I know, but I hate being away from my Bellie. Anyway, while you two played ditch we got fresh meat in today."

"What do you mean 'fresh meat'?" I asked, not sure what she meant.

"His name is James. James Roamer to be precise. 17, dirty blond hair, blue eyes, good looking by the way, smart _and_ dresses well. If I didn't have my Jasper he'd be a definite catch."

"Do you think you've left anything out?" I laughed.

"Yes, silly but you should go and find out for yourself, he's really friendly. I think you'd be great friends."

"Let me meet him first before you go declaring us friends."

I was quite eager to meet this James, we hardly ever got new people move into town. So it must've been quite the spectacle at school today, I knew it was a pretty fucking big deal when Jasper transferred in last year. I wondered why the hell this James character would willingly move to Forks. It's just some sleepy little town in the depths of never-ending green - nothing remotely special.

Alice ended up staying for dinner, she offered to help make the soup but even I knew some sort disaster could occur - like not putting the lid on the blender, something as menial as that. Sometimes I think she's more related to my mom than I am. I told her to just sit and keep me company.

Dinner wasn't very eventful, apart from the knowing looks my mom threw at me a few times. She's probably referring to the Stoli incident. At least I didn't cop a yell at drinking on a school night. I know she can't say shit because she was young once too. Besides they know I don't fuck around all the time, so it's more than fine for me to act how others my age do on occasion. Alice kept conversation flowing; my mom and dad love her like a second daughter. She fit so well into my family of three.

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School today would be amusing. Watching all the girls fawn over the new student. I couldn't wait to see them make huge asses of themselves. Edward took it upon himself to drive me to school this morning. I mean we'll be saving gas I suppose. I'll just have to get him to agree we do like a trade off of sorts. He drives today then we switch. I'd hate to impose on him. I know he would never accept my money for gas. I usually drove myself to school because sometimes I'd go to La Push but those days are long gone. I was still stuck in the habit until recently. This way did make more sense though.

I got into the Volvo and threw my bag in the back seat.

"Morning sweetheart." Edward greeted.

"Same to you." He leant over the console and gave me my three kisses. I just looked at him questioningly.

"What? I won't be able to do it all day, besides it's not like anyone saw."

"Fine, I guess you do have a valid point." I agreed, then returning the three.

I decided to let him know of Alice's slice of gossip she offered yesterday. "I hear we have a new student joining us at school. Should be interesting."

"Really? I haven't heard anything about this. It's such an unusual time to move, especially on a Tuesday since I assume his first day was yesterday or I was completely oblivious on Monday."

"Yeah I was thinking the same thing."

We pulled up into the parking lot and I noticed a shiny new blue Ford Escape parked a few cars down from us. This must be James'.

It was a bit cold today so Edward and I decided to remain in the warmth of his car while we waited for Alice and Jasper to arrive.

They came five minutes later, Alice yanked my door open, so I took this as my cue to get out; she swiftly linked arms we me and we made our way to homeroom.

I handed Mrs. Matthews my absentee slip and sat at my seat next to Jasper. The excuse was mortifying. Mom wrote –

_Mrs. Matthew's,_

_Please excuse Bella for being absent yesterday as she had a slight bout of diarrhoea she suffered from food poisoning._

_Kind regards,_

_Mrs. Renee Swan_

Mom decided it would be funny and consider it a lesson learnt for drinking on a school night. Esme was still away so my mom had to write one for Edward on her behalf. I'm pretty sure it was of a similar nature.

As I was in deep thought and my mind was engaged elsewhere I didn't notice the new kid James was also in the same class. Alice failed to mention this detail. You would think this would be a top priority. I could see that he was indeed fairly good looking and did dress pretty well for a guy compared to the many slobs that go here. He was in a pair of blue jeans that fit him well and a white t-shirt with a grey overcoat on top. He looked well put together if I do say so myself. As I finished my assessment of him I noticed Mrs. Matthews direct him to the empty seat on my left. I thought I should introduce myself since I hadn't the opportunity to yesterday.

"Hi! I'm Bella Swan." I extended my right hand for him to shake.

"James Roamer, nice to meet you." He smiled back at me.

"So you're new to Forks? What prompted you to choose this town of all places?"

"Yes, and that would be my mother's doing. She doesn't like staying in the same place for a long time, she's a bit of a free spirit."

"Yeah I know what you mean, my mom's like that, except she's content here." He seems pretty easy going.

"This is Jasper by the way."

"Yeah we met yesterday." Jasper smiled and continued his conversation with Tyler on his other side.

"Right of course you did. So where did you live before here?"

"Seattle, my mom felt the need to live a little quietly for a bit so she came across Forks and packed us up again. I'm glad she's willing to compromise, so we could at least let me stay in the one school long enough to graduate."

"Wow. Must be a very interesting life you guys have. It sounds so exciting." I was thinking about all the places he must've seen. I haven't really been anywhere.

"Yes and no. It's great in that I'm able to experience many places, but I just want some stability once in a while you know? I hate living out of suitcases." He did have a pretty valid point.

"So what's your schedule like?" He handed it to me and I noticed we only had one together. I also saw that he did Design & Technology, History, Geography, French and Visual Arts.

"We have first period Advanced English together." I informed him.

"That's good to know, at least I'd know at least one person in the class. What subjects are you doing this year?"

I handed him mine. I had Adv. English with him, Society and Culture (SAC) with Edward and Alice; Studies of Religion (SOR) after recess, Food Technology; Biology with Edward after lunch and Visual Arts with Jasper at the end of the day. It's always a great way to finish off a strenuous day of learning.

"I see you do art too, you enjoying it much?" He had his lesson during another period.

"Yeah I love it, it's one of my favourite subjects actually. We're all working on our major works at the moment."

"Yeah I'm continuing on the one I started in Seattle."

"Cool, hopefully I'll see it sometime in the studio."

The bell signalling the end of homeroom rang as we bid our goodbyes to Jasper, and walked towards English.

The day had progressed quite fast, the next thing I knew it was already lunch. James seemed at ease with us, forming a friendship with Alice who was in his D&T class, she invited him to sit with Edward, Jasper and I.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Edward Cullen. Welcome man." Edward is always so polite.

"Thanks man. James Roamer." He reached for Edward's outstretched hand. They looked like they were going to get along well. I was happy that we all made a new friend.

**EPOV**

When I picked Bella up for school this morning I couldn't wait to just be in her presence and kiss her if I could. Waking up this morning I could still smell her on my sheets. You would think that with the amount of time she spent over I would be desensitized to it, but I think my sense of smell was more heightened and I'm more aware of her if anything.

She told me that Alice had informed her there was a new student at our school. As I got to homeroom I was made aware said newcomer was male. I could hear the gossip around me. Girls saying he was 'dreamy' and that they wanted a piece of him. I'm glad attention shifted from me and was now focused on the 'fresh meat' as Alice likes to call him. Shit gets old fast, the girls here don't get that I'm not into them. It takes more than just a pretty face to catch my attention. I was glad when lunch came around so I could put a face to the name I kept hearing.

Alice brought him over to our table. I'm guessing he's the new addition to our little group. He wasn't so bad to look at, pretty good looking actually. And yes I'm comfortable saying shit like this. I took it upon myself to make an introduction and welcome him to our school.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Edward Cullen. Welcome man."

"Thanks man. James Roamer." He had a pretty firm handshake, that's always a good thing. He seemed nice enough and Bella, Alice and Jasper already accepted him. I just couldn't shake a _feeling_ I had about him. I don't know if it's good or bad, just a _feeling_. God now I sound like Alice and Bella combined.

I pushed it aside, and decided on giving him a chance. He needs friends in a new place like this. I've heard enough about him to know that he moves around a lot. So making and keeping friends must be extremely difficult. I wouldn't be an asshole.

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	15. Chapter 15

**AN:** **S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**Guys I have a question to ask ... How come nobody (aside from the select few that have :]) is reviewing? I see that many - like a whole lot read my story and are alerting and favouriting but not reviewing :( It makes my heart hurt :(:(**

**I'll keep writing my lil'ole story for sure, but it's just a little disconcerting is all. I think I need a hug after that purging *sigh  
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**Okay back to my happy mood :)  
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**Bella's outfit link posted on my profile ;)**

**Happy reading!**

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Of all the churning random hearts  
Under the sun  
Eventually fading into night,  
These two are opening now  
As we lie, I touch you  
Under fuller light.

Girl, if you're a seascape  
I'm a listing boat, for the thing carries every hope.  
I invest in a single light.  
The choice is yours to be loved  
Come away from an emptier boat.

'Cause when the dead moon  
Rises again  
We've no time to start a protocol  
To have us in.  
And when the dog slides  
Underneath a train,  
There's no cry, no use to searching for  
What mutts remain.

Throw all consequence aside  
The chill aspire, people set alight.

Of all the intersecting lines in the sand  
I routed a labyrinth to your lap.  
I never used a map sliding off the land  
On an incidental tide,  
And along the way you know, they try  
They try.

_Sea Legs_ – The Shins

**Ch 15 Parents, Paints & Panties**

James was starting to become a permanent fixture in our group of four. Sure we had other kids come join us at lunch table but they had their own groups, so many came and went nobody really stayed with us. The Friday of his first week at Forks High, he invited us back to his place after school.

He and his mom lived in a rented apartment in the small CBD of Forks. It was on top of a local café. We got to his place 15 minutes after school let out and had to find some street parking since he and his mom only got two private spaces in the back alley.

The five of us walked up the narrow staircase that was situated between the café they lived above and the hardware store. He unlocked the door in front of us and motioned us to walk in. The apartment was just the right size for two people; it had an open plan living space with the kitchen to the left side and a small corridor to the right where I assumed their bedrooms and bathroom were. I didn't know Forks had such a thing as this. It was beautiful.

There were two large windows that overlooked the busy street. A few boxes were still stacked against the wall, but they had set up most of their things already. I was pretty impressed considering they had only moved in this week.

The apartment was decorated with cool pieces, not quite matching one another but looked balanced nonetheless; I'm assuming they were collected during their many travels over the years. Looking at everything, it seemed like my kind of place.

Edward came and stood by my side, bending down to whisper in my ear.

"I know what you're thinking Swan."

"Oh yeah? Pray tell Cullen, what is it that I'm thinking?"

"You're thinking that you could live in a place like this someday. Am I right?"

"How did you know?" I asked in surprise.

"I just do." I guess he does know me pretty well. "I can picture you living in an open planned loft somewhere with exposed brick and beams, with big windows and paints and canvases everywhere, with all of the vintage pieces you've acquired carefully placed around the place."

I couldn't help but sigh and imagine such a thing. It sounded wonderful.

"One day." I really do hope I find something like that in the near future.

"So guys, can I get you anything to drink? I've got Coke, apple juice, water?"

Jasper, Edward and James had Cokes while Alice and I settled for the apple juice.

"You guys have quite the place here. How did you come across it?" Asked Jasper as we all sat around the T.V. perched on a makeshift mantle. Alice and I took the couch, while Jasper and Edward were on dining chairs and James was on a beanbag.

"My mom found it for us. She's a pretty good tracker when it comes to shit like this. I try and help when she needs it, but avoid it since I hate having to move so much. Speaking of my mom, she should be home soon; it would be great if you could all meet her. I promise she won't bite." He offered a small smile.

From what James has told us about his mom I was pretty excited to meet this firecracker of a woman. She sounded like she could give my mom a run for her money. She's a freelance travel journalist – that explains why they're able to move around a lot since she is able to work anywhere that has an Internet connection.

It would be great to pick her brain on her career since I need to make a decision and fast on what I want and where I want to study next year. We were watching some show about a girl who likes nature when we heard keys rattling from the front door.

We turned to the front door and saw who I assume to be James' mom and a guy who looked like an older version of him except with grey eyes and slightly tanned skin. I'm guessing it's his dad.

"Mom! Hey dad! I didn't know you were visiting?" He sounded pleasantly surprised. I was correct in my assumption. He said their marriage didn't work out but his parents remained good friends and that he was always raised in a happy household so he couldn't complain.

"Mom, dad, I'd like you to meet my new friends. Bella, Edward, Jasper and this little one here is Alice." He motioned to each of us as we all laughed at his introduction of Alice.

"Guys this is my mom Victoria and dad Riley."

"Nice to meet you Ms. Roamer, Mr. Roamer." We each shook their hands.

"Oh nonsense! Call me Vicky please! Ms. Roamer makes me feel old." She laughed. She was a beautiful woman; tall with fiery long wavy red hair and ice blue eyes. I guess James' inherited them from her.

"I agree, call me Riley, it's a pleasure to meet you all. I'm glad Jamie's settling well and has made great friends so soon."

"So how long are you visiting dad?"

"I'll be here for the weekend then I've got to head back to L.A."

"What is it you do there Mr. Roamer? I mean Riley." Edward asked.

"I actually work for a magazine there. I'm a photographer." This piqued my interest.

"Wow! Really? I'm pretty interested in photography, I dapple in it occasionally. It's great fun." I said shyly.

"You have to show me some of your stuff Bella." James pleaded.

"Yeah Bells, you should. You take amazing pictures." Piped in Alice. She's always one to pimp me out. I hated the attention I was receiving and I quickly ducked my head to avoid them seeing my blush.

"You know it's true Bella, your stuff is amazing. You don't give yourself enough credit." I'd like to junk punch Edward right about now, pretty peen or not.

"I'm not pro of anything, so I can't guarantee it'll be '_amazing_', but I'll show you someday." I laughed nervously.

"You know it takes someone with a good eye to get the right shots, I have a good feeling about you." Riley complimented with a smile.

"Thanks I guess."

"Give the poor girl some space. How about you and Alice come into the kitchen with me and help put the food out. I brought take-out, I'm not much of a cook you see." I gave Vicky a small laugh.

"You remind me of my mom."

"You should tell her we should have coffee sometime, Lord knows I need some female company while we're here."

"I'll let her know."

Vicky bought quite a selection of take-out, I could see berry cobbler from the diner, two large pizzas from Sam's and an abundance Chinese and Thai.

"Yeah I know what you girls are thinking, but we've got to test the waters, since Jamie and I will be frequenting these joints."

"Smart idea."

* * *

When I got home from James' place I told my mom about Vicky.

"Here's her number. She asked me to pass it along to you; she's a really interesting lady. I reckon you and Esme will get along well with her, she seems to share your sense of humour amongst other things."

"Sounds cool. So when will the rest of us meet this James? We should host a little get together at our place soon. What do you think sweets?"

"I'll run it by the others and see what they think. I've already eaten dinner so I guess I'll just go to my room then."

"Okay sweetie."

While I was about to change into comfy home clothes I decided it was time for me to work on my major some more. On Friday's we'd take my truck to school so I could load my canvases in the back for me to work on during the weekend.

I laughed at my reflection in the mirror, Alice would never be caught wearing mismatching underwear. It's such a 'Bella thing' to do apparently. But I'm 17 for Chrissakes! I don't think it matters terribly. I put on my button down; I ended up throwing the other one out during the red paint incident. I now replaced it with one of dad's old white ones that looked like a dress on me. I left the first two buttons undone and rolled the sleeves up to my elbows as usual. I decided to wear my denim short shorts I used for painting – that way they'd be protected under the shirt and I wouldn't wreck any more pants than I have already. I tied my hair up into a messy bun and made my way down to my studio.

I was currently working on my largest piece. I'm doing a series based on seeing the ordinary as extraordinary, like seeing something as banal as a coffee ring and making it beautiful, what is the story behind it? I feel the marks we leave have interesting stories. In a way I want to lend emotion to an object. It's art nouveau inspired, with lots of flourishes and precise line work. I'm working with minimal colour, predominately with black ink. It certainly is time consuming as I'm using an ink nib for the most part. It gives me the finer, crisp, precise line work that I desire.

I decided to paint to The Shins album - _Wincing The Night Away_, definitely one of my favourite albums. I love James Mercer; his voice gives me tingles. Big time. I don't care if he's older than my dad he's still pretty good looking. Sue me.

Mom eventually came barrelling in saying she and Esme were going to 'hit Port Angeles' with Vicky, since she indeed gave her a call while I was in my room. She sounded so excited.

"Don't wait up kid, I'm pretty sure we won't be back till the wee hours of the morning, and your dad won't be back till tomorrow morning. Take care of yourself sweets. Ask Edward over if you need company. Love you!"

With that she left, leaving me to continue my painting. I was on a good streak. I needed pure concentration with this because I worked straight on to the canvas. I don't outline my piece in pencil first. I love the spontaneity of it all; some of my best work comes to me like this.

_Sea Legs_ was about to play its second rotation when I could feel someone staring at me. I had a feeling of who that may be but I was still surprised when their arms circled my waist.

"Edward you scared me! You're lucky I was merely looking at my work just now and not painting you ass. You could've caused some serious damage."

"Sorry Bells couldn't help it. Just too tempting not to."

**EPOV**

And fuck was the sight before me so tempting. Bella had her hair up in a haphazard bun with a paintbrush sticking out from it, wearing a fresh white button down, clearly belonging to Charlie at one point in time. It was long enough on her to make me wonder if she had any shorts underneath. Knowing Bella she mostly likely did. She was a vision, barefoot on her multicoloured drop cloth that was full of her paint splatters, swaying to the sound of _Sea Legs_ by The Shins – one of her favourite songs. I couldn't take it anymore and I just had to feel her skin on mine. I walked straight up to her and put my hands around her waist, causing her to jump slightly.

She leant back into my embrace and we were just swaying to the music.

"I love this song."

"I know you do."

"It has such a sexy beat don't you think and his voice sounds so amazing." Here we go again with the James Mercer rant.

"Yep sure is." I started kissing her neck, earning a soft moan of content from her. She turned around to face me so I gave her our three. I noticed the front of her shirt had spots of paint on it already; it'll eventually be a multicoloured mess in no time I'm sure.

"Our mom's are pissing up at Port Angeles and have invited Vicky, while we're stuck at home. Can you believe that? Shouldn't it be the other way around?" She asked me.

"Yeah I know. I hope they don't get mistaken for cougars or anything. That would be so embarrassing." I saw what they left the house in, and let me tell you they did _not_ look like they were the mothers of 17 year olds. Don't get me wrong, they weren't dressed like skanks, but still it's my mom we're talking about and Bella's. I shuddered at the thought.

"So what do you feel like doing tonight?" She asked me.

"Just hang I suppose. The usual." I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Okay, let me finish this small section first then I'm all yours."

I liked the sound of that. Bella being _all mine_. It had a nice sound to it. If we were ever going to consider putting a label on this, I'd need to think good and hard about it. We wouldn't want to do it half assed. We're the same in that we're either all or nothing after our previous clusterfuck relationships failed abysmally.

I continued to hold her while she finished detailing the section she was working on. Her hand movements were precise. I swear I didn't feel her release a breath while that nib was in her hand, drawing onto the canvas. This was her way of remaining a steady hand. She's remarkable to watch. I have various pieces of her work in my room and mom has even framed a few around our house. She's one of Bella's biggest fans. Bells thinks her work is so-so, she never feels it's any good. She underrates her work too much. She has such a brilliant creative mind that I'm constantly in awe of her.

After working diligently for a couple more minutes she finally put down her nib and turned around giving me our three.

Her palm touched my face, feeling the slight scruff I had.

"Are you channelling your inner James Mercer? You're getting some scruff."

I smirked at her. "I aim to please sweetheart." And gave her a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Looks kinda sexy on you." She was looking up at me through her thick lashes, biting that bottom lip of hers.

I was now staring intently at her chewing that lip.

"You know when you do that you kill me. It looks sexy."

"Yeah?"

"Yep." I said popping the 'p'.

"Come here and do it for me then." So I did. I cupped her delicate face in my hands and kissed her gently, biting that bottom lip softly. I brushed my tongue along said lip, silently asking her to part them. She did so and our tongues met, moving against one another slowly.

She pulled away and licked her lips. "Mmmm yummy." Then proceeded to kiss me some more. I grabbed her ass with both hands, lifting her up and encouraging her to wrap her legs around my torso. Her hands were running through my hair and tugging at it slightly. It felt good.

"I'm taking us up to your room. That okay?"

"Mmm hmm." So I made it up the stairs careful not to fall. She took to kissing my neck so I could navigate us to her room.

"Is this making it's way to our _usual _routine Edward?" she asked as I walked us through her door.

"If you want it to be." I answered honestly.

"I want."

"And what is it you want now pretty girl?"

"You."

"You have me."

"Enough talking, more making out."

"Yes ma'am." I mock saluted, giving her a crooked grin.

"Come here." She was now perched on her bed, leaning against her headboard. She had pulled her hair out of the bun throwing the paintbrush on her bedside table; her hair was slightly more wavier than usual. I slipped my shoes off and crawled towards her. I situated myself between her parted legs and kissed her fully. They were frantic ones now.

Her hands were at the hem of my shirt, silently asking me to take it off, so I did. She ran her dull nails down my chest, lightly scraping my nipples. It felt amazing. I then felt her do the same motion with her tongue and gently biting on my right nipple.

"Bella …"

"Mmm?" She continued to do this on my left one. My dick was getting harder. I could feel it. I started to unbutton her white paint shirt; it quickly joined my shirt on her floor. I could now see the impossibly tiny shorts she was in. If she bent over you could definitely see the beautiful curve where ass meets thigh.

She was in a frilly floral bra that was pretty girly for Bella. She was now tugging on my jeans so I got up and pulled them off so I was just in my boxers.

"These should go off don't you think? It's only fair." I said as I motioned to her shorts.

"You can do the honours Cullen."

So I did. I pulled them off her creamy thighs and I was greeted by a pair of floral panties that had frilly lace edges, they didn't match her bra but that was something so inherently _Bella_. I ran my forefinger against her panty-clad sex and felt the heat and wetness seeping through the thin material.

"You're wet for me." I smirked at her.

"Yep." She said popping the 'p'. I started rubbing her through her panties again, eliciting a moan from her.

"You like what I'm doing baby?"

"Uh huh … but … it … would be better … if you took my panties uhhh … off." _You're wish is my command_, I thought to myself, I'd give her anything she wanted. I wouldn't deny her. Ever.

I hooked the sides of her panties in my fingers and slipped them off her legs. I threw them on top of my jeans. I was going home with that pair. I hope she wasn't too attached to them. Her pussy was now right in front of me, bare and glistening with her arousal.

"You are _really_ wet for me aren't you baby?"

"Uh huh."

"Is it okay if I get you more soaking _wet_? Is that okay pretty girl?"

"Oh God!" I had her squirming. I gathered that she enjoyed dirty talk as much as I do so I used this to my advantage.

I put a finger in her pussy and she parted her legs a bit more for me.

"So _fucking_ tight and wet baby."

"Mmmm … more Edward."

So I added another finger and rubbed her clit with my thumb.

"Feel good baby?"

"_Fucking_ …. amazing baby … don't stop." She panted in my ear.

My mouth moved to her neck where I sucked and licked, then moving down to her gorgeous breasts. I put her right nipple in my mouth and sucked hard, alternating between gentle bites and languid licks. I had her coming in no time. I withdrew my fingers and attacked her mouth once again. I was now situated perfectly in between her legs as she wrapped them around me. I could feel her sex grind onto my boxer covered cock. The friction it created was something else. I felt her feet hook into my boxers, trying to slip them off me. My, my, someone's eager.

"I want these off. Now." So I did as I was told.

I grabbed my cock and pumped it a few times while she watched clearly aroused. She was rubbing her thighs together to achieve some friction. So I made my way back between her legs and rubbed her clit again before kissing my way down to her pretty pussy.

I looked up at her for permission to continue. She was biting that lip of hers with lust hooded eyes. She definitely wanted me to. I couldn't wait to taste her sweetness. I had a sample the other day when I licked her juices off my fingers but I wanted _all_ of it, straight from the source.

I knelt between her legs and licked her slit for the first time, painfully slow. Fuck she was so sweet.

"_Fuck_."

I parted her with my fingers and continued to lick, eventually putting a finger in while I sucked on her clit.

"_Fuck_ baby … so … good … so, so good!"

"Are you gonna come for me baby?"

"Uh huh." She nodded. I could tell she was close. She looked so sexy fisting her sheets while she leant on her elbows to watch me work on her pussy.

"I'm getting close baby."

"I know." I sucked on her clit while I continued to pump her pussy fast with my fingers. I curled them looking for her sweet spot.

"EDWARD!" Fuck it sounds so good to hear her say my name like that. So I told her so.

"_Fuck_ I love it when you scream my name." I lapped up all the juices from her sweet pussy as she rode out her second orgasm. Pretty fucking satisfied at getting her to come with my mouth. I'm pretty sure that asshole did _nothing_ for her.

I gave her a kiss and was glad to know she didn't mind that I had just gone down on her. She's full of surprises.

She pushed me onto my back and got on top of me. Kissing me everywhere till she reached my cock.

"Baby, you don't have to do that. I did it for you because I wanted to do it."

"I know. And I'm about to do it because I want to taste your huge cock. I want it in my mouth … so. _Fucking_. Bad." She whispered in my ear.

"If you're sure." I gave her one last chance to back out.

"Yep."

The next thing I knew was that Bella licked the tip of my cock then put the whole thing in her mouth. I felt it touch the back of her throat and I hoped she was okay, I didn't want her gagging or anything so I stilled her head. She just pushed my hands away and continued sucking. Whatever she couldn't fit in her mouth she stroked with her hand, simultaneously cupping my balls with the other hand. She continued this for a good 15 minutes.

"_Fuck_! Baby so _fucking_ good. I'm not going to last long." I swear my endurance was embarrassing. But she was fucking talented.

This egged her on and she sped up her actions.

"Fuu … _fuck_ … so … _fuck_ … baby .. so _fucking_ talented." She fucking moaned in delight and that shit sent the most delicious vibrations to all the right places. I was so close. I grabbed onto her head gently warning her.

"I'm close baby." I hope she took this as a cue to get off or I'd come in her mouth.

She just sucked harder. "_Fuck_ Bella, baby I'm gonna come." She just took my hands and placed them on her head so I could set the pace I wanted her to go. Fuck I can't believe she's letting me. A few more sucks and I came hard yelling out her name. She continued to suck until my cock was clean of all cum.

"Mmmm _delicious_ Edward." She winked at me. I got up, putting my boxers back on so I could grab a washcloth to clean her up with. As I was in the bathroom I heard her phone go off.

"Who rang?" I asked as I walked back in.

"Your mom did, apparently they're getting pretty sloshed and checking into a hotel there. Looks like you're staying the night Cullen."

"That was always my intention Swan." I winked back.

"Come here, my bed's awfully lonely without you." She said patting my side of her bed.

I noticed she put my shirt on again. I gave her the washcloth to get rid of any stickiness so she could put some sleep shorts on. I went to her dresser and grabbed one of my wife beaters. She had already folded our discarded clothes and put them on her desk. I was glad to see her panties were neatly tucked into my jeans. Bella made no motion to grab another pair, meaning she was going commando under her sleep shorts tonight.

"Let's get some sleep sweetheart. You've got me all partied out."

"I could say the same to you." She said sleepily. We gave each other our three while I held onto her as were drifting off to sleep.

"Night sweetheart."

"Night honey."

* * *

**I'll never listen to _Sea Legs_ the same like EVER, I don't think it was meant have sexual connotations to it. I just have a dirty mind. **

**I'll keep thinking of BXE in the studio and after ;) lol & I do actually think James Mercer is quite appealing but he's no Rob P. (I love me some Rob P. scruff anyday! I love that dirty boy)**

**;) :p  
**

**Thanks for reading lovelies xx  
**


	16. Chapter 16

**AN:** **S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**THANKS to the two that reviewed last chapter, your kind words made me happy :), seriously at times I do really feel like jumping ship with this but I love these kids too much.  
**

** *hugs to you both and your very own****_ three _from Edward xx  
**

**Remember this is only fiction.**

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers xx**

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* * *

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**Ch 16 Pasts, Future Ambitions & Decisions  
**

It's the week leading to Halloween, Alice had gathered all of us at her house for some more planning, we were going to have a small get together to which Edward so graciously offered to host it in his house. Halloween falls on a Sunday this year so we thought it best to have the party the night before, knowing that people wouldn't leave until 2am the latest. That's how it always went, so technically it would still fall on the actual day. Emmett, Rose and Scarlett were also due into Forks for a visit so it was definitely perfect in every aspect.

"So I'll be nice this year and let you choose your own costumes." Alice trilled excitedly.

"Uhhh thanks I guess?" James sounded confused. Poor thing.

"Yeah Alice seems to think it's her job to pick for us each year." I said looking to James. "She thinks we'll make the wrong decision."

"Should I be scared?"

I answered him without hesitation. "Definitely, Alice won't stop giving you shit if you don't turn up in something she deems acceptable."

"I'll keep that in mind. I don't want to get in her bad books. _But_ having said that - I still don't see why she doesn't just do it for us this year if there's a chance I'd get shit from her if I made the wrong choice."

"Who knows? This _is_ Alice we're talking about. We've learnt to just go with whatever she says."

"I've taught you well Bellie." Alice said as she blew a kiss my way.

"So what did you do for Halloween last year? Anything exciting?" I asked him. It was always interesting to hear about his life before Forks.

"Nothing remotely interesting. We were living in Florida at the time, I went to some party a kid from school threw. Of course it was too humid to wear anything remotely interesting and all the girls were traipsing around in bikinis anyway. It was more of a pool party than anything else."

"What! No themed parties? No trick or treating?" Alice asked incredulously.

"Oh there was plenty of trick or treating all right. It was like some huge fucking orgy, rampant with horny teenagers seeking for their treats of the chemical variety. It was a blast." He said sarcastically. "I was afraid I'd catch an STD if I didn't keep an eye on my drink or it would get spiked or something." He laughed.

"What the fuck kind of school did you go to?" I asked.

"Let's see, mom decided to send me to _Arancia Academy._" He said in a mock snobby utterance, nose turned up and all. "Where Florida's _most finest_ and _impressionable_ fuck around and get high. Of course mom didn't know this behind all the prestige surrounding it. After that experience she let me choose where I wanted to go."

"And you chose Forks High of all places?" Edward chimed in.

"Yeah it's not so bad. I wanted normalcy not debauchery and drugs. I got caught up in all that shit when I was younger and I'm glad I've learnt my lesson."

"What happened? If you don't mind me askin'" Piped in Jasper.

"Pretty much it all boiled down to me hanging out with the wrong group as you do when you're 14. You think you own the whole fucking world. My parents divorced the year before and we were living on opposite sides of the country. Dad went to Cali and mom and I stayed in Chicago, mind you this was way before she decided to move anywhere and everywhere.

"I let my grades drop, then got caught up in binge drinking first, which led to the weed then that led to pills which eventually led to my first line of coke. Mom and dad were threatening to ship me to rehab, after I OD'd. My "friends" just left me there; lucky one of the girls a friend of mine was fucking had the decency to call 911. I could see what I was doing was taking its toll on my mom and dad. I almost fucked everything up, dad was questioning my mom's parenting ability and they had a huge fight, they didn't even fight once during their divorce. It was purely based on growing into different people but _I_ nearly fucked it all up for them. Dad ended up moving back with us temporarily, they thought I wasn't coping with the divorce. I almost fucked up his career too. I'm just thankful he was just doing freelance work at the time. All that shit just because I fell into the wrong scene. I seriously thought it was _fun_ at the time. I was so fucking wrong. I was stupid."

This was so much to take in. I'm sure none of us had expected him to share this. I guess he's comfortable with us, I'm glad he feels this way. We would never judge him on his past regardless.

"That's intense man." Edward said as he exhaled a deep breath.

"Everything's okay now isn't it? I mean you're family seems so lovely and like none of that ever happened." I pointed out.

"Yeah, we eventually had a family meeting of sorts. You know air everything out that we were feeling. My family has never been happier; we're all working together to make being a family easy wherever we may be. And I haven't touched any of the hard shit since. I didn't want to be one of those kids abusing the money their parents worked hard to earn on all that shit you know? I saw enough of it from the people I hung out with, I just can't believe I conformed."

"So you're from Chicago originally?" Jasper asked, steering the conversation away from the low in James' life.

"Yeah born and bred." He answered proudly.

Alice resumed her listing of items we needed for the party and assigned each of us tasks. I would be in charge of organising food and drinks while she did the decorating, Jasper was ordered to do whatever Alice asked of him, Edward was in charge of music and James was told to just show up since he was new to, well … Alice and her _ways_.

We finally got our shit sorted when the conversation centred on college.

"So Bella, have you decided what you want to be doing next year?" Jasper asked.

"Right now I'm all for studying design. I'm looking into the Pratt Institute in New York." I finally sat down and really thought about it for the past few weeks.

"If our plan goes ahead and I get into the Fashion Institute of Technology, Bella and I will be rooming together in the apartment my parents have set up in SoHo." Alice and I had discussed this when she came home from New York as we went through all the brochures together. The Communication Design course they offered sounded promising.

"How bout you Jas?"

"I'm applyin' for the history program at UW and hopefully will be roomin' with Edward if our plans come to fruition."

I always knew Edward would go to UW, even when we were younger. They have an amazing architecture program there which he's always been interested in.

"What will you be studying Edward?" asked James.

"Architecture. They have a pretty great program; my older brother Emmett's actually taking it up there right now. He's in his final year." Emmett could've finished a year ago but he took time off to help out with Scarlett. Rose still has a year to go till she finishes her degree in mechanical engineering once she goes back to school. I'm in awe of the tenacity the both of them possess to finish school after having Scarlett. Their situation has actually motivated them both all the more so that they can provide for Scarlett's future. It stopped becoming about them as individuals but them as a family.

It was funny how Alice, Edward and I ended up choosing different design disciplines to study, we sometimes joked that Jasper should complete us by taking up Industrial or Interior Design.

"So you're not going to follow your dad's footsteps and be a doctor?"

"I _had_ entertained the thought but med school doesn't seem to be me you know? I'm more interested in the anatomy of a building than a person's." He replied with a hearty laugh I loved hearing. "My mom's actually an interior designer, so I guess I picked up the interest in architecture from accompanying her to many of her clients buildings when I was younger."

"So I've heard, your mom's work is award winning. And I'll get to meet the infamous Emmett at the party?"

"Yeah he's … quite the character." We all laughed. "He'll be with Rosalie his girlfriend and their daughter Scarlett."

"So James, what are _you_ thinking of doing after we graduate?"

"I'm thinking of studying a communications subject, maybe venture into journalism like my mom or a writer of some sort. As to where I'll be going - I'm still not sure; I haven't thought that far ahead. I know, I know!" He said putting his hands up defensively. As I'm sure we must've been looking at him with various degrees of disbelief.

"If I don't get my shit together soon it looks like I'll be taking a gap year."

"Fair enough."

Alice let out a huge sigh of dejection. "I can't believe we'll all be going our separate ways next year. It makes me feel sad."

"We'll be together Allie." I hugged her tightly. "We'll just be farther away from Jas and Edward and possibly James when he gets his shit together and decides where he'll actually be going." I joked.

The prospect of being so far away from them did indeed make me sad but we needed to follow our own paths and be our own people, next year is a time for self-fulfilment.

* * *

Later that night Edward and I were watching _Donnie Darko _in his room eating s'mores pop-tarts and Cheetos; while chugging down root bear floats. _I know, strange combination but fuck it!_

"I wanna wear that for Halloween."

He said pointing to the scene before us. It was during the Grandma Death cellar scene, where Donnie was in the skeleton outfit with the grey hoodie. Jake Gyllenhaal looked pretty fucking hot in the film.

"You know I'm a sucker for boy's in skeleton outfits." I said dreamily.

I truly am. Especially after seeing the video clip for _Skeleton Boy_ by Friendly Fires. Ed MacFarlane the band's lead singer is so fucking epic in the clip and all its geniusness. His dancing skills are fucking A! Kinda in the same way Ian Curtis of Joy Division's dance skills amaze me – Fucking A indeed. The song being one of my favourite happy songs and I will_ never_ be ashamed to dance like a spaz when I hear it play. Never. And I'm not one to dance, so that in itself says a lot.

"You're thinking about _Skeleton Boy_ aren't you? You have a pretty big fucking grin plastered on your pretty face right about now." He laughed at me knowingly.

"Yep! I sure is, and sorry honey I don't know if Alice will approve of that outfit, she'll think you aren't making any effort."

"It's worth a try. But I'll keep thinking I suppose."

I got my Moleskine out to jot down possible costume ideas for the both of us.

"Whatever you do sweetheart, don't put down _vampire_ on my list of possibilities, it _is_ quite cliché as of late wouldn't you say?"

"Agreed, society has indeed inundated us with these mythical bloodsucking beings. I see shit about them everywhere."

"Methinks it's because of that book series and it's accompanying films."

"Methinks you are right." I agreed, giving him our three. "Although, I must say the lead is quite something to look at. He played the wizard that died in that hugely popular film we saw a few years ago remember?"

"Yeah I do, I also remember you cried when it happened. Surely I'm more appealing than he is."

"Shut-up it was sad! You know how I am with emotional scenes. And of course you are. He has _nothing _on you Edward Cullen."

"So Pratt is a definite go ahead then?" He said putting an end to my fantasizing.

"Yeah I've pretty much solidified my decision. I hope I get accepted. It's my first preference."

"Of course you will, you're talented and super smart."

"Somehow I doubt that. But I'll never know if I don't try right?"

"That's the spirit!" He fucking fist pumped. What a funny kid.

"And you're still all for architecture at UW?"

"That's the plan." He would be a great architect. Edward has a great mind. He's very creative and intellectual. He'll definitely go places.

"I'm proud of us. Alice, Jasper, You and I, even James – we're all going for what we want."

"Me too." He said while stroking my hair. "I'll miss you though."

"I'll miss you too. Always. But it's inevitable. It was always going to be like this. Go our separate ways for college. We could always visit each other like we planned and there's phone calls and Skype and everything else." I said earnestly.

**EPOV**

The prospect of leaving for college as daunting as it already is, increased ten-fold at the sudden shift in mine and Bella's _friendship _(we still haven't labelled it). I knew it would hurt the both of us to have states between us rather than two houses. But, we have to be_ selfish_ in order to follow our dreams and be _selfless_ in letting the other go in order to pursue them. I would never ask her to drop everything and follow me, the same way she would never ask that of me. We were fine with this because despite it all we have each other. I told her so.

"We'll always have each other."

"And that alone _Mr._ Cullen is what gives me great comfort in knowing we'll be okay." I knew she was only talking about the two of us, rather than the group as a whole.

"We'll cross that bridge when it comes I guess."

This afternoon's activities had Alice rope us into all sorts of jobs for the Halloween party to be hosted here this coming Saturday. I'm glad it would only be our group, Emmett, Rose, Scarlett, Leah, Seth, Charlie, Renee, Vicky and my parents - who I assume will spend most of the night in the den getting piss drunk or whatever it is they do. It will be nothing too big. I knew that Newton was hosting a party too, no doubt inviting the rest of Forks High, subsequently attracting gatecrashers from neighbouring schools. He's dreaming if he thinks he could contain that shit. Charlie's been tipped already so he's already warned some of the officers of possible shit that may arise. We didn't rat Newton out, he's just the dumb ass who pulls the same shit _every fucking year_. He thinks he's badass.

I was pretty surprised at hearing about James' past, I'm sure the others were too. Looking at him you'd never guess he ever engaged in shit like that. I mean it's not like none of us hasn't drank ourselves silly or experimented with weed or anything (Bella accidentally gets high from the paint fumes in her studio when she forgets to ventilate), but none of us has ever touched coke or pills especially to the point of OD'ing. I don't even know if they even have that shit _in_ Forks (I'm not that naïve, but I just mean it in the sense that it isn't common). Shit must've been serious if they were threatening him with rehab, and man he started so young! He's turned out to be a pretty good mate, but it's still early days. I hope for his sake he really is over all the substance abuse.

* * *

**BPOV**

After school today, Alice and I decided to hit Port Angeles for some supplies for the party and to hunt down anything we may need for our Halloween costumes. I had asked Leah if she would come along with us. We've been talking a lot now, more so than when I had been dating the asshole; and we've gotten to know each other better. She was going to meet Alice and I at my house since she was dropping Seth off at Edward's.

It didn't take us long to arrive, with Alice's penchant for speeding. First the girls and I were on the hunt for decorations. It didn't take Alice long enough to pick some suitable things because Esme was already fully equipped with items we could use.

Leah and I had separated from Alice as she stayed to look around at one of the dress stores. I already had a clue as to what I was going to dress up as, so it was just a matter of scouting stores to find what I needed. It was fun to get to choose what we were going to dress up as this year, and most of us kept our ideas secret. Well except for Alice and Jasper who I assume will be co-ordinating with each other. Not that Jasper would mind - he just goes with the flow. I haven't even told Edward what I've picked. Sure we brainstormed together but we haven't said anything. Mine wasn't even on the list.

"So have you got your costume sorted out Leah?"

"Surprisingly I have actually."

"And will you be telling me what that is? Since you'll end up finding out what I'll be by the end of our expedition." I coaxed. She whispered it in my ear.

"Hot. Will you have any props?" I asked.

"Maybe." She said teasingly.

After I had picked up my costume to which Leah was very surprised indeed at my choice, I had one more stop to make before we met up with Alice.

"Do you mind if we make one last stop for something."

I directed the both of us to _Millicent's _- a baby boutique with gorgeous pieces. I took it upon myself to purchase some thing's for Scarlett's outfit since Rose had already told me what she would be dressing her up in for her first Halloween.

When Rose came to visit the last time, we both took Scarlett to _Millicent's_ for a few things. I saw so many adorable outfits that I was seriously thinking of buying and just space bagging them for my future children. Rose couldn't stop laughing at me and called me clucky. Then proceeded to remind me to _always_ have protected sex because although she loves Scarlett with everything in her, having her young is hard fucking work.

What she doesn't know is that during the release of _Where the Wild Things Are _last year_; _Edward and I were at the Angus & Noble bookstore where we came across a child sized Max jumpsuit - complete with crown _and_ sceptre! _I fucking Know_! So we bought one each to put away for when he and I each have our own kids someday with future partners. We must've looked so silly purchasing them at the counter, because they clearly wouldn't fit either of us.

Leah and I were laughing at something stupid she was saying about how she finds it deeply disturbing when grown men wear leggings out in public, when we finally walked into _Millicent's_. We both stopped abruptly at the sight before us.

"What the fuck is _she _doing here?"

**EPOV**

Today, it was just the guys hanging out. Bella, Alice and Leah left for Port Angeles to do some shopping for Saturday, so Jasper, James, Seth and I hung out at my place till they got back.

"So guys what do you feel like doing?" I asked no on in particular.

"Video games?" Seth asked.

"Yeah I could go for some Rock Band right about now."

"I call dibs on guitar!" I yelled.

"Bass!" Called out Jasper.

Seth took on the drums while James sat back to watch for the first round since he didn't want to sing.

"We'll each take turns so it's fair." I mentioned to James.

"You have an unfair advantage Cullen, not all of us are as musically gifted as you. You can play all of these instruments can't ya? And I'm pretty fuckin' sure ya'know how to sing."

"Jas man, you know I'm not that great."

"Bullshit Cullen."

"Yeah I call bullshit." Piped in James. "You're forgetting that the art studios are in the same building as the music department. I've heard you practice before, pretty talented man."

I hated attention being called on my musical ability. I only ever did it for fun, just fucked around on occasion. Besides I'm better at the guitar and piano than I am the other instruments, I just dapple in a bit of bass and drums when I can, so I wouldn't call myself _gifted_. Far from it.

"Quit bein' so fuckin' modest Cullen. Let's get our game on."

We played a good few hours before the girls got back to Forks, the three of them looking slightly uneasy about something. Maybe they couldn't find what they were looking for?

They didn't say anything about it, so I just shook it off. I'd ask Bella about it later. Alice began questioning us if we had our shit together concerning our costumes. I just had to find two things before Saturday but other than that I was good to go. James said he was pretty much all set, Seth too and Jasper was teaming up with Alice to co-ordinate so he was more than prepared. I wondered what my brother, Rose and Scarlett would arrive as. I couldn't wait to see them. Only a few more days to go!

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**Thanks for reading!**

**I've used names of real institutions but I'll be improvising later on regarding courses and such. I've never been to America or anything so bear with me.  
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**Did you like my use of _Arancia_? Get it? Orange in Italian (so I hope), because of Florida lol (Yeah I'm lammmmeee)**

**Oh and please make sure to check my profile for the link to the _Skeleton Boy_ video clip by Friendly Fires. I promise it's worth it, I'm sure you'll fall in love with him too, his name is Ed after all! (I heard the latter said in Emmett's voice in my head lol)  
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**Reviews mean for a faster update, I'm working diligently on it already ;), but seriously feedback would be great!  
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**Toodles & thanks again for reading xx  
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	17. Chapter 17

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters. I just own the world of pain I'm in from the intense workout I did today.  
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**Thanks pinktortilla for the review :) Edward gives you _three._  
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**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x  
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**Ch 17 Misconceptions**

All I could think about when I remembered the trip to _Millicent's_ was - What. The. Fuck? Leah and I definitely didn't see_ that_ coming.

So here we are, back at Edward's place while the guys battle it out on Rock Band. Alice, Leah and I occasionally exchanging wary looks with one another. When my eyes lock onto Edward's forest greens he smiles at me and I smile back. I know I have to talk to him about the shit that's been bugging me but I just don't know when an opportune moment would be. He's told me time and time again to never keep things bottled up. I guess now is one of those instances; because for the life of me _this_ – is something I know I can't keep to myself.

But for now I would enjoy in the easiness we are experiencing right now. I knew that my revelation would indeed cause some sort of turmoil. Fuck I can't even wrap my head around it. I'm not sure what it is I feel other than confusion.

The others had left already as Edward and I made our way up to his room.

"What's troubling you so much sweetheart?" He eventually asked me.

"What makes you think there's something wrong?" I tried to act cool like, something wasn't indeed bugging me.

"I've known you long enough to be able to decipher that look on your face."

"I wasn't aware I was that easy to read."

"Yes and no. You're a mystery to everybody else, I just happen see through your mask"."

"How very perceptive of you."

"Quit stalling and tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours."

I sat on his bed, unable to face him. I didn't know where to start really. I mean how do you bring something like this up? I'm pretty sure he would like to know. No, scratch that. This s something he _has _to know; being kept in the dark about anything is shitty, I had first hand experience.

"How about you start with what happened at Port Angeles, because since the moment you came back you've looked uneasy."

I think right about now I needed some time to myself to process things. Then maybe I could talk to him about it, after I sort myself out.

"Listen, I just need some time to process things. Then as soon as I'm ready I promise I'll talk to you about it."

I felt slightly guilty because this concerns him as much as it does me, if not more so - definitely more so.

"Okay sweetheart." I was thankful he let it drop.

"I better go, need to make dinner and what not. I'll speak to you later?"

"Of course."

I got up from the bed and made my way towards the door just as Edward caught my arm and gave me our three, walking me to my front door.

For dinner I decided to make some crumbed lamb chops with Parmesan and thyme, and a potato bake. While I was prepping the lamb I couldn't help but go over what happened at _Millicent's_ this afternoon…

_"What the fuck is_ she_ doing here_?_"_

"_Excuse me?" Leah looked towards the voice._

"_And who are you?"_

_Ignoring the question directed at her, Leah turned to me asking me if I knew the glaring honey blonde in front of us._

_There, stood Tanya's older sister Kate and her younger sister, the platinum blonde Irina. I had only ever met them a handful of times. Initially, Edward had informed me on Kate's feelings of unease at our close friendship causing Tanya to worry some. They were polite to me then, but now Kate was being down right rude. She was shooting daggers at me, while Irina just looked bored._

"_Just old acquaintances, these are Kate and Irina, Tanya's sisters." Leah knew enough to know that Tanya was indeed Edward's cheating ex-girlfriend._

"_Is this some sick fucking joke? Did he knock you up too? You've got to be kidding me!" I was pretty fucking confused right about now, I'm pretty sure Leah was too. I guess she was making this assumption because she hadn't known my reason for being in the store. Wait what did she mean by 'Did he knock you up to?' What the fuck is this? _

"_What are you talking about? Is Tanya pregnant?" my confusion clearly evident as I stared at her with a look of shock._

"_Don't act so surprised _Bella_"_ _The way she said my name was full of contempt. I just gaped at her accusation. "You_ know_ that my sister is, after all… didn't you tell him to leave her and their baby for you? You know I always knew you two were fucking around behind my sister's back. But this, this is just fucking low of you. You're disgusting!"_

_What. The. Fuck?_

"_What the hell are you on about?" Asked Leah._

"_This has nothing to do with you bitch so stay out of it." Kate sneered towards her._

_Knowing Leah, she wouldn't hesitate to punch the bitch, but we were in a baby boutique for chrissakes! We were garnering a lot of attention as it already was. Mother's were blocking their children's ears while looking at us disapprovingly. I put a calming hand on Leah's arm._

"_Kate this is not the time or the place to be making such accusations. You need to tone it down."_

_She at least had the decency to look embarrassed, knowing the clientele that frequented _Millicent's_ were quite well-to-do. She pretty much banned herself for life with her outburst. _

"_You're right, just be sure to let Edward know he better come to his senses and fix this mess. Fast. He needs to take responsibility."_

_With that Kate and Irina exited _Millicent's_ leaving Leah and I confused as fuck._

_I ended up buying two things for Scarlett, not even wanting to stay around to browse fully as I would've liked; then left to meet Alice. Leah had told her the whole story of the confrontation we had with Tanya's sisters and her accusations as we made our way back home._

"_That bitch is crazy. And seriously? I know she has got to have her shit wrong, Edward and you aren't more than platonic." Alice said matter-of-factly._

"_Right." I felt huge amounts of guilt for not telling her that Edward and I have formed something slightly above friendship. I didn't know what to call it._

"_Well then you know she's wrong about who the father is. For all we know that baby isn't even Edward's, I mean she was fucking around behind his back. Who knows?"_

_Leah was silent most of the way. She didn't really know what to say since she hasn't been hanging out with us long enough. Poor Leah, she's already thrust into drama, none of which she needs in her life._

"_Yeah who know." I mused._

"_Bella, you know you have to say something to him don't you? He obviously has no clue what's going on." Alice had a valid point. He needs to know, and I have to be the one to tell him that he could potentially be the father of a baby with his vile ex._

"_I know Alice, I know."_

_The car ride back to Forks had been mostly silent after that. Each of us in our own little bubbles._

As I sliced the potatoes, all I had running through my mind was that what if there was a chance that Edward could be the father of her baby? I know he said that they hadn't slept together, but he did say so himself that he's not one to _'kiss and tell'_. I felt sick, I felt so horrible for him. Edward doesn't deserve the shit Tanya is putting him through once he eventually finds out. I know for sure that Kate's reasoning for their break-up was bullshit. The reality was there weren't any words exchanged to end the relationship. Tanya knew it had ended the moment she saw Edward out the front of her house that night.

I made up my mind. I'm telling him tonight after dinner. He needs to know. I hate being kept in the dark as much as anyone, what happened to me was still fresh in my mind. Keeping secrets only ever leads to heartache.

Throughout dinner I just kept pushing my food around. Even with the delicious food in front of me I lost my appetite.

"Pumpkin are you okay? You've hardly touched your food."

"I'm fine dad, just not feeling well."

"Honey just go on straight to bed if you'd like, I'll bring you some hot tea in a minute."

"Thanks mom." I got up from the table and climbed the stairs to my room.

How was I going to bring this up with Edward? I knew that this would devastate him. We're only 17 for chrissakes! He's too young to potentially be a father. I lay on my bed thinking about it all as a lone tear for Edward escaped. I hurriedly wiped it away as I heard my mom's faint knock on my door.

She glided in holding my favourite turquoise coloured mug.

"I made you some chamomile to help you sleep better."

"Thanks mom."

"Are you sure everything's okay? You're not having boy troubles are you?"

I felt guilty. I hadn't said anything to my parents about my break-up from Jacob. Only because I didn't want to have to deal with his shit again. I hate the fucker but I still wouldn't wish the wrath of my dad on him. I guess now is a good a time as any to let her know.

"Mom we aren't together anymore."

"I know. I wasn't asking about him." She had that all-knowing-mother look on her. "Anyway, I'll let you get some rest honey. Night." She kissed my forehead then walked back downstairs to my dad.

I shut my eyes, eventually falling asleep only to jolt them open two hours later, remembering I had told myself that I would tell Edward tonight.

I picked up my phone from my bedside table and sent him a message.

_Code Blue._

_Just let yourself in with the spare._

_- B_

I closed my eyes again and waited for his arrival. I must've dozed off again because I felt him curled up against my side. I turned around so I could face him.

"Sorry I fell asleep. Today was draining, and mom made me chamomile."

"It's okay sweetheart. Are you not feeling well?" He placed the back of his hand on my forehead, trying to feel my temperature. I just swatted his hand away.

"I'm fine just tired."

"You issued a Code Blue? What's the matter?"

"Just wanted to tell you I'm ready to continue our conversation from this afternoon."

"Okay. I'm all ears. What's up?" Little did he know his world would change in a few short minutes.

**EPOV**

It was nearing 11pm when my phone vibrated, signalling a message from Bella.

_Code Blue._

_Just let yourself in with the spare._

_- B_

I finished writing in my journal, grabbing my grey hoodie and making my way to her house. I jogged up to the Swan's porch and found the spare, letting myself in as instructed. I walked up the stairs to Bella's room and opened it softly.

I could see that Bella had fallen asleep while she waited for me. She must either be sick or incredibly exhausted. I climbed onto the bed by her side, brushing the stray strands of hair off her delicate face. I just lay there watching her sleep, she looked beautiful; I leant forward and kissed the top of her head, breathing in her calming scent.

We just lay like this for 20 minutes until she eventually stirred and turned to face me.

I questioned her on why she issued a Code Blue, saying that she had wanted to continue our earlier conversation about what had her at unease this afternoon.

"Okay. I'm all ears. What's up?" I told her. She knows that she can always come to me if there's something bothering her. I'd rather her not bottle up her feelings.

She was quiet for a little while, until she spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.

"It's about Tanya actually." I was quite taken aback by her statement.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. "What do you mean? Did you see her today? Did she do something to you?"

"No, I actually saw Kate and Irina."

"I don't understand. What does _she_ have to do with this?" I snapped. Not meaning to.

I could already tell she was nervous at telling me this; she didn't need me taking it out on her. I tried to calm down.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you sweetheart. It's just that the mention of her gives me the shits." I pulled her into a hug, kissing the top of her head once more. Motioning for her to continue.

"Well… Leah and I were at _Millicent's. _That's where we ran into them." The way she said it I knew it was meant to be a vital part but I still didn't understand.

"I'm still not following you."

"Edward. Millicent's is a baby boutique. You know the one Rose and I love going to. The one I told you about." I now remembered her excitement over this store and all of the beautiful things that were made especially for babies and children.

"Edward they were there shopping for Tanya."

"Tanya?" I was confused. Did that mean…

"She's pregnant." Bella said it the same time I did although mine was more of a question.

"She's pregnant?" I asked again.

"Well from what Kate told me. By the way she sure has one mouth on her. She was scaring the children and their mothers. That's not all of it Edward."

I didn't know what else to say, so I kept quiet until she finished the rest. I guess she knew that I didn't have anything to say so she just continued without my prompting.

"She says that it's… that it's yours." Her eyes didn't meet mine; instead she just stared at her hands in her lap. "Kate said that you broke up with Tanya knowing you got her pregnant for me. She thought I was pregnant too, and that you had gotten me pregnant because I was in a baby store." She blushed her beautiful blush as she said the last part, her revelation confusing me all the more.

"I know she's lying, because obviously you didn't know she was pregnant, you would've said something to me I guess. And you probably would've tried to make some sort of compromise with her about the baby. So obviously Tanya is lying about your break-up." Wait, what? Does Bella think the baby is mine? I needed to clear this shit up with her.

"It's not mine."

"What?" She snapped her eyes up to mine.

"The baby, it's not mine."

"How do you know Edward? There may be a chance it is." She said in a calm voice.

"I know this because like I said, Tanya and I have never slept together."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"But… but I thought you guys would have and that maybe you just didn't kiss and tell." She said sheepishly.

"We hadn't got to that stage in our relationship. But she kept trying to jump my bones." I mused.

"You know what? It kind of makes sense now. Remember when we went to the movies in Port Angeles that time when you guys had a fight out front. Well she must've known back then that she was. I complimented her on how shiny her hair was, and then she kept looking at her hair and nails. Then she looked like she was going to throw up all the time during the movie. I just chalked it up to the gore."

"You're quite the detective." I was with Tanya frequently and I didn't even pick up on these things.

"And you said she had horrible mood swings all the time. She must've been way hormonal or something. Unless she was just trying to pick fights with you for a reason to break-up."

"Yeah you're right." I agreed. "If I'm not the father, then that means it's definitely the _'pizza guy_' who is." I wonder if he knows this. "I don't get why the hell she would say that I'm the father?"

"Beats me. I'm guessing she wants to get back at you for breaking up with her without verbally saying it. Although, she never struck me as the vindictive type; unless he's of an unsavoury character and you're just the better candidate?" She hypothesized.

"I'll never know." I shrugged.

"Edward, you know you have to talk to her about this. What if this somehow gets back to your parents, your dad is a doctor at the main hospital for fuck's sake!" I hadn't thought about that. Shit.

"Yeah you're right. After school tomorrow I'll do it. Come with me?"

"I don't know… I don't think I'm the best person to be at the Denali's, Kate might try to kill me."

"Please?" I needed her with me.

"Fine. But I'm staying in the car." I was happy with this compromise.

"It's getting late, we should sleep. Got a big day ahead of us tomorrow."

I turned out the lights, pulling her against my chest. She turned her head slightly so I could give her our three and fell asleep to the soothing music playing in the background.

* * *

School the next day was uneventful. People around us were constantly speaking about Newton's upcoming party. At lunch he looked like he was going to approach our lunch table till I raised my eyebrow at him in question. He just turned and walked the opposite direction. It's not like I was going to do anything to him. I'm not an asshole. He was probably trying to get us all to come to his party.

Usually school drags by painfully slow, but not today. No. It went by in a blur. The next thing I knew, Bella and I were in my car making our way to Tanya's.

We were now parked up front of the once familiar pale blue house. Bella's hand came on top of mine, squeezing it reassuringly. She already had her iPod and book out to occupy her while I was gone.

"It'll be fine, I'm just out here. You need to speak to her about all this."

"I know." I had to man up.

I exited my car and walked the short distance to her front door. I rang the doorbell once. Hoping to God she would be home, alone preferably. The door opened after a minute and I was faced with Tanya, who was indeed very much pregnant.

She didn't look surprised to see me at all. "I figured I'd see you. I didn't expect it would be so soon." She said looking past me towards my car. "You can tell Bella to come inside if you want. I won't bite." At this point I still hadn't uttered a single word to her. I just nodded and went to my car. Bella rolled down the window seeing me approach.

"What's wrong? Does she not want to speak with you or something?" She asked biting her lip and looking at me worriedly.

"She asked if you'd like to come inside. She said she won't bite."

"Umm okay." She got out of the car walking to my side as I hit the button to lock it.

Tanya was waiting by the door, and gave a timid smile in Bella's direction.

"Hi Bella."

"Hi." Bella managed to get out in a small voice.

"Umm… so why don't we have a seat." Tanya made her way to the modest sized living room. "Can I get the both of you something to drink?"

"No thanks." I replied. The first words I had said to her in months.

"No thank-you." Bella said as she took a seat next to me on the couch.

Tanya sat in front of us in the family rocking chair that had been handed down to them by her great-great grandmother.

"Kate told me what happened yesterday. I'm so sorry for her behaviour Bella." Tanya looked at her ashamedly.

"It's okay." Bella answered automatically.

"Bella, it sure as hell is not _okay_. Tanya, I don't see why you had to drag Bella into any of this - or myself for that matter. Why Tanya?" I was angry but I tried not to yell. I didn't want to cause stress to the innocent baby.

"I'm sorry Edward. Bella. I just didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell my family the real truth. I'm so sorry Edward." She had tears in her eyes. I hated seeing her upset, but she was not mine to comfort anymore.

"I still don't understand Tanya."

"I'm sorry." She apologised again before explaining further. "I just wasn't happy Edward – I mean happy enough. I know that we had a pretty good relationship; you were always sweet and attentive and cared about me a lot. I just felt like you were keeping me at arms length. I didn't feel good enough for you. I envied the way you and Bella could just _be_. You're so at ease with one another. I know that you're just best friends but sometimes it just got to me. This is silly but I remember this one time that we were hanging out, the three of us and we were eating burgers from that diner near where you guys live. I was watching the both of you eat, the way you would take the pickles out of your burger, while Bella opened hers, waiting for you to put them in it. Then I watched how you put the ketchup on her burger and yours while she placed fries on top of it. Then putting the buns back on.

"You have all these things that you do together without even thinking about it. I remember waiting at your school for you when we were going to hang out and I saw the both of you walk towards the parking lot. You both swapped backpacks because hers was heavier. I know you didn't do those things intentionally to hurt me, because like I said, you both do it subconsciously; it's seems as easy as breathing. I just couldn't compete. Anyway, I remember going to one of my friend's parties and I met Prescott there. He was two years older than me and showed interest in me. He was really nice and polite, smart and had a wicked sense of humour. I thought that maybe I was in love with him. But I guess I was wrong."

She now had a steady stream of tears running down her face. Bella offered her a tissue from the box beside her.

"What happened to him? Is he not in the picture?"

She shook her head. "No."

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

"God no, I owe it to you to explain everything."

"Well, that night, when you saw the both of us. That was the last time I saw him. I told him I was pregnant, that's why I had asked him over. He didn't believe me, said I was lying because he knew I had you but he didn't know that you and I hadn't been sleeping together. I didn't tell him that was you by the way. He just called you my rude neighbour, whatever that meant." She laughed humourlessly.

"It was still early, so I wasn't showing or anything. But I had to eventually tell my family. I'm pretty sure they're disappointed in me. Kate especially. I think she thinks I'm throwing my life away. But I already love this baby." She was rubbing circles on her protruding belly.

Bella finally broke from her silence and asked Tanya a question.

"Why does Kate think I have something to do with the break-up?"

"Kate came to her own conclusions, since I hadn't offered an explanation. She noticed that Edward stopped calling and coming around, so she figured that he was the father and guessing that you probably had something to do with it, because Edward wouldn't leave me to deal with this alone, since he's such a gentleman. You know my sister was always a bit wary of your friendship I guess she just shifted the blame on to you. I was just stupid enough not to correct her. I didn't want anymore of her disappointment. She'd hate me even more if she found out I had been guilty of infidelity. I already hate myself for the both of us. I'm so sorry if she lashed out at you yesterday. "

"Apology accepted." Bella said, giving Tanya a small smile. She hesitated before she spoke again.

"She told me she ran into you at _Millicent's_. You don't mind me asking what you were doing there?" She asked Bella curiously.

"I was just purchasing a few things for Scarlett."

"Of course you were. I'm sorry that Kate insinuated otherwise."

"No problem. What's done is done."

"I'm sorry for ever making you feel inadequate Tanya, and I'm sorry for the way I broke up with you, it was pretty rude of me." I felt really bad after hearing everything.

"Don't even apologise Edward. I made the decisions I did. I could've spoken to you about it and we could've worked it out – but I didn't. This one's all on me. I understand that you were angry and that if you hate me, I deserved it. I'm sorry for hurting you though, you have to believe me."

"Of course, we can still be friends if you'd like?" I offered.

"Sure."

"And keep us posted on the baby." Bella added.

"Don't hesitate to call us if you need anything okay." I was just about to get up and hug her when a soft sob echoed from the foyer. I looked up to see the familiar honey blonde.

Kate.

Tanya, looked at her sister, panic on her face and tears welling.

"Kate… how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough. I think we need to talk." Kate's eyes were rimmed with unshed tears, although the tone of her voice was soft, no hint of anger in them.

This was our cue to leave, so they could sort everything out. We each gave Tanya a hug goodbye, the girls giving each other a peck on the cheek like they used to. As we passed Kate on our way to the front door she offered Bella and myself an apology, which we both accepted.

The drive back to Forks was relatively silent; the only sounds heard were the purring of the engine and the soft music playing in the background. I decided to break the silence, it was killing me.

"That went a whole lot differently than I anticipated."

"I'll say."

"I expected to be kind of angry at her, but now… now I just feel horrible. Maybe if…" I stopped immediately; I didn't want to finish that sentence. It would be wrong of me to. I was thinking of saying 'Maybe if I had done things differently we could've worked out. Maybe if I tried.' – but that shit isn't fair on Bella; after all there's something between us. I can feel it.

"What were you going to say? Do you regret breaking up with her? Not trying?" I was glad that she didn't sound hurt, but understanding instead.

"Are you a mind reader?"

"No. You just seem to forget that I know you pretty well too. I know these things." She tapped the side of her nose with her index finger playfully.

"I don't regret the way things worked out. She did cheat on me after all. I just wish things would've ended up differently for her. I mean concerning the guy, I just wish he would take responsibility and be there for her."

"She's probably better off without him."

"I guess you're right." He did seem like a douche when I met him.

"Do you feel better now that you've got some closure?" She asked me.

"Yeah actually I do, like I have this weight lifted from me, you know?"

Her lovely giggle rang out above the soft music. "Yeah I know _exactly_ how that feels." I remember how she was in a chipper mood and nearly tackled me on her porch the day she got her closure. The day things changed between us.

"Should we celebrate again?"

"We should. But I don't think the Stoli would be a good idea, unless you want my mom to write me another embarrassing absentee note to teach me a lesson."

I let out a huge laugh at this, remembering the identical notes Renee had written us after our celebration.

I pulled us into my driveway, shutting off the engine as I gave her a chaste peck on the lips.

"Movies, junk food and making out sound like a better way to celebrate?" I asked.

"Yep, sounds perfect."

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**Did you like? Is the story still engaging? Please let me know.**

**Halloween will be next update. I was going to put it in this one but figured this needed to come first.**

**Thanks again for reading x  
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	18. Chapter 18

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**Halloween has arrived :)**

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x**

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**Ch 18 Playing Dress-Ups**

I woke up Saturday morning, as I felt constant jumping on my bed. I opened one eye seeing that it was still dark outside, and then groaned as I glanced at my alarm clock and the pixie perched on my bed. 6.30 in the goddamn morning!

"Rise and shine Isabella Marie! We have a whole lot of organising to get done."

"What the fuck Alice! It's six fucking thirty in the morning!"

"Don't give me that shit Bella, you know we have a lot to do before the party tonight. Besides I brought you a peace offering."

I was immediately assaulted with the aroma of a chai latte. If she was going to ass kiss at least she did it thoroughly.

"And… I brought you a breakfast croissant." She thrust a brown paper bag my way, noticing it was from Laurent's.

"You really are trying to ass kiss aren't you?" I asked while I held up her offerings.

"I just didn't want you to be shitty."

"Love you!" _but not as much as this amazing piece heaven I'm holding in my hand_, I mentally added.

"Love you too! Now get up and get ready to help me out. I still have to wake Edward up, it's at his house after all."

"If you think I was hard to wake up, he's harder." I informed her.

"Oh I know, that's why as soon as you're done, that's the first job on your to do list today."

I didn't bother arguing because I know she would always get her way. I quickly ate my breakfast and took a quick shower.

Alice was busy checking her list eating her own breakfast as I made my way to the Cullen's. As I approached their home, I was met with the familiar white Jeep that belongs to Emmett. They must've arrived last night.

I used the spare key to let myself in and was met with the smells of Esme getting breakfast ready. I walked towards the kitchen to notify her of my arrival.

"Morning Esme."

"Morning darling."

"I'm just going to wake Edward up, before we both face the wrath of Alice."

"Ah I see, so I take it she woke you up at the crack of dawn?"

"Yep."

I quickly made my way up to his room, because knowing Alice; she'll probably ring my phone any second to ask where we were.

Edward was sleeping peacefully on his stomach, spread out over his bed. I smiled at the sight.

I was so glad things turned out differently after visiting Tanya. I'm just concerned about her now; it has to be hard going through everything at 17. I don't know how Edward would've handled things were the outcome different.

I slowly made my way to his bed and sat closest to his head. I gently started to comb my fingers through his hair, hoping he would wake up any minute.

"Edward… sweetie you need to wake up." I whispered in his ear as he slowly stirred.

"Edward." Still his eyes remained shut. I was just about to poke his ribs when his arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me down beside him.

"Morning sweetheart." He greeted me, eyes now half open; I leant down to give him our three.

"Morning to you too." I said while he gave me a peck on the lips. "You need to get up, Alice is waiting at my house so we can start prepping for the party."

He groaned and put a pillow over his face. "But the party isn't till hours away, and it's not like we have a whole lot of people coming, it's just us for chrissakes!"

"You think I don't know that? You know she's a pushy little thing, now go on and get ready. I'll bring you up some breakfast so you can eat while you get ready, Alice would be proud at the multi-tasking going on."

He jumped into his shower as I made my way back down to the kitchen. As I was walking out of his room, my body was lifted into the arms of Emmett's big form.

"Walk of shame Little Joey Potter?"

"Shut up Em! You know as well as I do I didn't spend the night, you asshole." I was about to slap the back of his head but Rose beat me to it.

"Ow Rosie!" He let go of me and rubbed the back of his head.

"You know better than to say shit like that." She came over to me and enveloped me into a loving embrace. "I missed you Bella."

"I missed you too, I'm so glad you could make it down for Halloween."

"Of course we would! Scarlett should have her first one in Forks." I noticed that neither of them had Scarlett with them.

"Speaking of the little angel, where is she?"

"She's downstairs with her nana. C'mon let's get some food."

I followed the both of them to the kitchen and saw Scarlett perched in her high chair. I immediately went to her, lifting her out and holding her close to me. She was so soft and warm and smelled wonderful like baby powder and vanilla. I gave her a big kiss as I continued to hold her close to me.

I must've gotten carried away in conversation with the others I had completely forgotten about Edward and the breakfast I was meant to get for him. Just as the thought occurred to me he had already made his way down to us, I looked at him apologetically.

"Sorry, I got distracted." I looked down to Scarlett who was resting her head against my chest.

"I figured as much, I knew you wouldn't be able to leave her side once you saw her." He came towards Scarlett and I and bent down to give her a kiss on the forehead.

I could see Esme drifting off to La La land as she was just staring at us with a faraway look and huge smile on her face. She noticed I was staring right at her so she snapped out of it waving me off and continued plating up the food.

"Do you want to hold her?" I asked Edward.

"No, it's okay, I'll just grab something to eat then we'll go see Alice. Unless you give her a ring and tell her to just come over. Makes more sense that way."

I was just about to get my phone from my pocket when Alice came in to the kitchen.

"I was just about to call you to come over here."

"I know, I had a feeling you would, so I made my way over." She extended her arms out for Scarlett so I put her in her arms.

"Hi Scarlett, I've missed you." She cooed towards the adorable baby.

"And what about me Allie?" Rose came to my side while Alice handed Scarlett back to me and hugged Rose tightly.

"I've missed you too! I'm glad you came to visit! It's been too long!"

After eating my second breakfast at the Cullen's we each began our tasks, Jasper came mid-way during breakfast so we were pretty much all set. Since I was in charge of food I decided to prep the ingredients for the things I was going to make. I was going to serve mini quiches, gourmet sandwiches and party pies. Esme already had two large trays of lasagne prepared, all we needed to do was pop them in the oven before the others arrived. I had already bought the olive tapenade and horseradish and beetroot dips from the local deli to go with the fine wafer crackers. I also pre-prepared the chocolate cupcakes that I decorated with ghosts made from fondant.

In terms of drinks, Esme made an insane amount of sangria to get us through the night. As long as the drinking occurred under their roof and with their knowledge they allowed it. I figured if we needed more we could dip into our Stoli stash. I also bought soft drinks and made a fruit punch that may or may not be spiked by the end of the night.

After I finished the few things I needed to get done, the rest of us pitched in with the decorating. By the end of our efforts the interior of the Cullen's home looked like something off of a movie set. It wasn't tacky at all. There were no signs of fake cobwebs or plastic spiders. Instead there were red lanterns hanging from the ceiling, candles inside brown paper bags, that when lit would give the room a soft glow scattered about the place, black and white candles shaped as skulls. There were various shades of red fabric draped about the place used to offset the blacks and dark wood furniture; there was a huge and I mean huge (like taller than Emmett) gilded mirror leaning against one of the walls used as a decorative piece. We pretty much fully transformed Esme's living room for the night into some sort of lair or crypt of sorts. It looked amazing.

"It looks perfect if I do say so myself!" Alice beamed from her mini step ladder.

"Oh look you're almost the same height as me." I teased.

"Shut up bitch! I can't help that I wasn't blessed with supermodel height. For that I'll torture you more during Bella Barbie time."

"Fuck!"

"Fuck indeed young lady, now scoot upstairs so I can work on your hair and make up." Alice was only going to do my hair and make-up, while we get dressed separately so we can still surprise one another with our outfit choices.

We were currently in Edward's bathroom while Alice worked her magic. For tonight Alice had hair extensions on, making her hair below her shoulders. She must've spent a lot of money on them because hey look and feel real. I was impressed. Alice wanted to try something new with her hair, so she recently coloured it chocolate brown, and it had grown out some, she said she wanted a change and is trying to grow her hair out to a bob. I had asked her just to curl my hair in nice neat waves and pin it back at the sides so I could wear my hat.

She kept my make up minimal just as I requested. Just some eyeliner and mascara with red lipstick. She was guessing I would be dressed as a 50's pin up girl or something, but I didn't agree or deny, just kept her guessing. Everyone was busily getting reading, each dressing in a separate room, apart from the couples.

Before I got dressed I made my way to Emmet's room in my robe to help Rose get Scarlett ready.

"Hi sweetie." I cooed to the beautiful blonde girl in my arms, Rose had already put her cute dress on her. It was white with a pink frosted cupcake on it. Rose was adamant that her daughter would not be dressed like something stupid for her first holiday.

I slipped the little flats I bought for her at _Millicent's_ on her tiny feet. She looked gorgeous, they were sparkly jack-o'-lantern themed shoes, had they come in adult sizes I would've been sure to purchase myself a pair. They were just so adorable. I also bought her a cute necklace with a cupcake charm to match her outfit.

"You better be careful sweetie, your daddy might want to eat you." I warned her.

"Somehow I think you're right, Emmett's hungry 24/7." Rose laughed.

"How the heck do you manage with him? He must eat you guys out of house and home."

"Tell me about it." She just rolled her eyes and picked up Scarlett. "Thanks for the shoes and the necklace, you spoil her too much."

"I love spoiling her. Besides look at her she's so adorable."

"She is." We both looked toward the smiling girl in Rose's arms. "Well scoot back to Edward's room, I wanna see the final product already, and of course I still need to get dressed too."

I walked back to Edward's room to get changed. I was pretty pleased with my selection, it was very me, very vintage inspired although the length was anything but. I was a tiny bit worried it was too short, but I figured it was only us that would be seeing me in it. I even managed to use the gold Mary-Jane heels Alice bought me from New York. I guessed I'd need to pull the big guns out to impress Miss Brandon.

I couldn't wait to see everyone else!

**EPOV**

Today had been fucking busy. You'd think for a small party we wouldn't need so much prep time. But no, Alice had to go overboard again and here we are now, in a place that doesn't resemble the home I knew only a few hours ago. I've got to hand it to her though, she knows her shit. She wouldn't want to taint the home of Esme Cullen with shitty interiors. It is looking pretty fucking amazing.

"Hey man, Alice is askin' us to go get changed into our outfits for tonight."

"Jas, isn't it a bit early? The others won't be here till what - 6.30, we still have like an hour to go." I said while glancing at my phone to check the time. "Besides we're guys, it's not like we have make-up to put on. Right?"

"Uhhh…" He was looking down at his feet scratching his neck. I laughed at him.

"Alice has you in some fucking costume that requires make-up doesn't she?"

"Yeah…"

"I fucking knew it! You know you could always ask her to compromise, I mean she fucking chose the shit you're wearing already, it's only fair man."

"You know what, you're right." Jas was so whipped.

I ended up changing into my outfit as soon as Jasper left to speak to Alice. I decided to dress as a soldier of sorts, I couldn't be bothered spending much money getting all decked out so I just wore my black jeans, combat boots with the black laces, a grey tank and a military jacket with 'US. Army' detailing on the pocket. It was an awesome find I bought during a trip to one the Port Angeles op-shops that Bella and I frequent together. I had a big feeling Alice would give me shit for not trying, but what the fuck ever. I bought an authentic helmet and even went as far as getting proper dog tags made for this fucking party.

Jasper ended up joining me again in my dad's office, which I used as a makeshift dressing room. He walked in with the craziest outfit out. He was wearing lime green jeans, a white tuxedo shirt, with an insane purple blazer on top. He had this cool looking bow tie on too, it was black and green and had fucking eyes! Eyes! The only thing normal he was wearing were his tan oxfords.

Upon looking at my attire Jasper let out a huge groan.

"Aw man, you look fuckin' normal compared to me. Now I'm fuckin' glad I vetoed the make-up."

"And who the fuck are you meant to be?"

"The Mad fuckin' Hatter. You know, from Alice in Wonderland." He said putting his top hat on. It was this burgundy coloured patchwork thing, with a coral sash and what looked like a peacock feather.

"What the fuck are _you_? You can't go dressed as yourself." He looked at me incredulously.

"Ha fucking ha, I'm a soldier asshole." I said putting on my helmet and showing him my dog tags.

"Shit you got those made?" He looked at them, as they indeed had my name, initials, date of birth and blood type.

"Yeah but I chose what went on them, since clearly I'm not a soldier, so you better stop your girl if she clicks it at me for not trying, because I got this shit custom made."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go down and see what everyone else is wearing."

Jas and I made our way down the stairs together when we heard a loud noise.

"Charrrrge!" Emmett, it figures. With him comes noise, I almost forgot what it was to live under the same house as him the loud fucker.

"What the fuck man?"

"I'm just getting into character little bro." He had his sword up in the air and shield in the other hand as he ran up and down the foyer. He was dressed as a gladiator, complete with armour, helmet and gladiator sandals. Pretty impressive. I didn't know Em had it in him.

"You're pretty decked out brother."

"Yeah, it's Scarlett's first Halloween, I wanted her to see her daddy in full costume. " He looked me up and down. "You're clearly not, you look like you normally do."

"Fuck off, I'm like a soldier on casual Fridays." I laughed.

"Whatever you say, I'm gonna go find my girls."

The three of us walked in the direction of the living room, which was most likely where they would be.

As I entered the tastefully decorated room my eyes instantly fell on Bella. She looked beautiful, stunning. And fuck me, she was dressed up in a vintage inspired army uniform - that was entirely too short for the period but undoubtedly hot. She looked like a 1940's pin-up girl. She had heels on too, which made her creamy legs go on for miles. She gave me a knowing smirk and made her way towards me.

"We kinda match." She mused.

"Yeah we kinda do." I laughed. "We've certainly got a theme going on."

"That we do."

I looked around finally noticing the others, Alice was indeed Alice in Wonderland, and although she wasn't blonde she had made her hair longer somehow. Girls, I thought - so much trouble for just a few hours. Rosalie was dressed up as a sailor, while my tiny niece had a dress with a cupcake on it and the shoes and necklace Bella bought for her that day she ran into Kate and Irina.

Thinking back to that incident made me realise that I could've easily been in that Prescott guys position had things gone differently. I am clearly no way in hell ready to be a parent at 17. I mean I'm great with Scarlett but looking after her for a few hours is by far a much different experience than taking care of her 24/7.

After everyone complimented each other on their outfits (Alice luckily hadn't riled on me for 'not trying') I got the music ready. I made a playlist on my iPod specifically for this event. I made sure to include Dead Man's Bones concept album of the same name. Who knew Ryan Gosling could make pretty impressive music. Bella and I discovered them while we saw their amazing video clip to _In the Room Where You Sleep_. The kids in costume were awesome especially the one dressed as Edward Scissorhands. I also made sure to add some Joy Division in there as well as some other artists the rest of us enjoy.

**BPOV**

Rose, Alice, Scarlett and I were downstairs doing last minute preparations while Esme and Carlisle were entertaining my parents in the den. The adults didn't get dressed this year, said it was too much effort if they were only 'going to get messy afterwards'. My mom's words not mine. I know I should find that deeply disturbing that they were in the next room on the makings of getting piss drunk, but what can you do? They like to party as much as the next person. Dad and Carlisle could've just worn their work attire, or better yet swapped, so my dad was the doctor and Carlisle was the chief, would've been so great for shits and giggles.

Rosalie was currently laying the food out on the tables and my God does she look fucking amazing for someone who's had a baby. Her body pretty much bounced right back and her boobs are huger! Some people have all the luck. I guess she's just born with great genes. She was dressed up in this cute sailor jumpsuit thing. It showed entirely too much leg, but she has the goods so why not flaunt it. Her blonde hair was down in waves with a dainty little sailor hat placed carefully on her head.

My best friend of course dressed up as Alice, except she was a brunette version. I looked at her cute costume, it was a short powder blue dress with puffy sleeves, petticoat and a buttoned up collar with a bow; complete with a polka dot pinafore and customized pocket with 'Alice embroidered on one of them. Aside from the length she was the classiest Alice I had seen. I'd witnessed some skanky ones traipsing the streets of Forks during Halloween a few years in a row. She was wearing white socks with lace trim and matching Mary-Jane's to mine, except hers were black. The three of us looked pretty smoking if I do say so myself.

"Bella I must say, you pulled it off. I'm proud of your dress choice." Alice congratulated me with a vice like hug. Appraising my outfit.

"Thanks pixie, I learnt from the best of course!"

My military cape I bought a few months ago had become a staple item in my wardrobe, therefore inspiring my vintage military look I'm donning tonight. I was even feeling confident about the length of my skirt as Alice and Rose kept insisting I didn't look like a skank.

When the boys came into the living room I was pretty amazed at their efforts. Jasper was of course Mad Hatter to Alice, while Emmett was a gladiator and Edward, Edward was looking all kinds of sexy. He looked like a soldier who forgot their cargos and hello black jeans and combat boots. He even had an authentic looking helmet and dog tags. I walked towards him and shared my amusement at our somewhat matching military theme.

Alice noticed our attire and immediately said we looked adorable and how cute it was that we were unintentionally matching one another.

Seth and Leah were the first guests to arrive. Leah looked pretty fucking hot, she was wearing tight three quarter baseball pants, a red and white striped long sleeve baseball shirt that was conveniently midriff, showing her flat stomach with red fingerless gloves. Her shoes. Oh my, they're amazing. They were pretty much navy blue Chucks with heels except they were pointed at the front. Her glossy black hair was in a waved side ponytail under her red baseball cap. She looked amazing, I told her so.

"Leah! You look amazing! Oh and I see you do indeed have a prop with you." I noticed the wooden bat she toted around with her.

"I'm nothing if not thorough." She laughed.

"Aw Seth! Look at you! You're a pretty cool looking Batman!"

He was wearing blue jeans, Chucks, a black shirt with the classic Batman sign, a mask and cape. He even had little Batman shaped throwing stars. He was adorable. I loved how everybody had their own take on the characters they were portraying. They added their own style to it. I couldn't wait till James and Vicky arrived to see what he would be dressed as.

They arrived 10 minutes after Seth and Leah. After Vicky's quick hello's to us she made a beeline towards the den, eager to get her drink on with Esme and mom. I had a feeling our dad's would be the sober supervision for tonight.

"Look at you." I said praising James' outfit.

"Geek chic, hopefully Alice will approve." As if on cue she came bounding over towards us.

"Oh my, James. I'm speechless. You look amazing."

James was wearing beige chinos rolled at the cuffs, navy blue boat shoes, a blue striped button down – which was tucked into his pants, complete with a funky green and blue bow tie, black suspenders and tortoise shell glasses.

"How do you even own any of these items?" Alice asked.

"I like to shop, what else is there to say. Of course I wouldn't normally pair these things together like this, but it still works wouldn't you say?" Oh dear Lord, his is going to spark another huge conversation about clothes and shopping and shoes. Alice won't be able to shut herself up. Poor James, you don't know what you've done. I slowly backed away, making my way to the others.

Introductions were made, allowing James, Seth and Leah to finally be able to meet Rose, Em and Scarlett – who was now beginning to nod off. Rose said she would put her to sleep soon and take the baby monitor down when she came back. She would be our sober supervision for tonight since she was still breastfeeding and didn't want to drink.

The sangria was getting consumed like water. Leah let Seth have half a glass. The next thing we know we were pretty fucking buzzed.

"Do you think we should bring out some Stoli?" Edward whispered in my ear. I got shivers.

"Mmm do you think that's a wise idea?" I asked him, suppressing a smile.

"Yeah I do actually. Good things happen when we crack it open."

"Oh? Is that so." I whispered back in his ear.

"You know it is."

As the night progressed, I found myself situated on his lap. The others didn't think anything of it since it happens. They're pretty immune to our closeness, but we still had to watch ourselves.

"C'mon Bells, let's dance. Everyone else is. Let's join them." He offered his hand out to me. It was a familiar song but I didn't recognize the remix, Everything But The Girl's – _Missing _was blasting through the speakers.

"What mix is this? Sounds good." It sounded so fluid and smooth. I could feel the bass in my chest. I found myself swaying to the music as Edward held my waist from behind me, resting his chin on my shoulder.

"It's a dubstep mix by Coven. You like it?" He whispered in my left ear.

I nodded. This sudden closeness was almost too much too handle. It felt like we were the only one's in the room. Rose and Em were on the couch engaged in a heavy make-out session, kind of disturbing but apart from being parents they are still young. Jasper was twirling Alice around; they were in their own little world. It was like they were hearing their own music in their bubble. Leah and James were dancing pretty closely with one another too. Leah had driven Seth to his friend's Halloween party back in La Push; where I'm sure he would've enjoyed himself more with people his own age, I laughed when she came back with more alcohol from her own stash. I was pretty impressed she could handle her liquor well. She said now that she could get her drink on while Seth was gone she would do so.

"Maybe we shouldn't get the Stoli out, I want us to be sober for later." Edward said pulling me from my thoughts. He gave me a soft kiss on my neck before continuing our swaying. I could feel his arousal pressed on my ass.

I was now excited for what exactly _later_ would entail.

Before I could continue my thoughts, loud banging on the front door effectively killed the mood.

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**Links up on my profile as usual. Check out the Dead Man's Bones clip and the remix of _Missing_. Amazing shit! Ryan Gosling is pretty sexy, but not as sexy as Rob I mean Edward swaying with you to _Missing_ lol**

**Halloween will be continued next chapter. Please let me know what you thought.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**p.s apologies for overlooked errors  
**

**xx**


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.  
**

**Thanks to those who left some love last chapter! Edward gives you_ three_.**

**Halloween part deux!**

**Onward with the story. Underage drinking etc. Apologies for overlooked errors.  
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**Cheers x**

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**Ch 19 Buzz Off, Getting Buzzed & Getting Off**

"Who the fuck is that?" Edward asked no one in particular.

"I have no idea, it's not like we're expecting anyone else." I said equally puzzled.

The banging on the door continued, and they didn't sound like the eager knocks of trick-or-treaters, it was way too late for any kids to be out anyway since it was about 11 now.

Edward released me from our dance as he went to the front door to check it out. As Edward approached the door a distinct "Bella" could be heard from the person on the other side of the door.

Fucking hell! That motherfucker! I knew exactly who it was, and I had a feeling this encounter was not going to be pretty.

"Jacob." I said out loud. Leah and Alice quickly made their way to my side.

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Leah snarled.

"I have no fucking idea." I was pretty fucking clueless, I'm pretty sure I made it clear I wanted nothing to do with him.

We all went to the foyer where Edward had slightly opened the door to a very inebriated Jacob. I could see he was with two of his friends from the rez.

"Can I help you?" Edward asked Jacob in a scarily calm tone.

"I'm looking for my girl, I know she's in there. Let me see her." He was trying to push his way inside the house.

"What the fuck man? She's not your girl anymore, don't go anywhere near her. You should just leave. Now." Edward had a firm hold on the door.

"The hell I will… Bella! I know you're in there baby!" He slurred.

"That's it, I will not tolerate this shit inside_ my_ home. Take it the fuck outside Black." Jacob stepped back and eventually stumbled his way onto the front lawn.

Emmett, Jasper and James followed Edward outside of the house to deal with the nuisance.

"I suggest you ladies stay inside." Jasper informed us before making his way out.

My stomach was in knots; I didn't like where this was going. At least we had a doctor and a police officer at hand if things got awry.

"I can't believe he has the nerve to fucking show up here, he never bothered to come to our parties before. Such an asshole. And what the fuck! Is he delusional, did he forget that he cheated on me and that we broke up? Did my punching him not reiterate that I was done? Or did he think it was some sick fucking foreplay?" I could feel angry tears make their presence known. I held them in because I would not break down. I wasted too many tears on him already. I was fucking over it.

Alice, Rose, Leah and I were just lingering in the foyer; Alice was rubbing soothing circles on my back to calm me down. We couldn't hear any commotion going on the other side of the door. But I had this eerie feeling that it was just the calm before the storm.

Five minutes had passed until we heard a loud "Fuck!" clearly Jacob. We made it out of the door, Leah quickly grabbing her baseball bat. If it were any other situation I would've laughed but this shit was serious.

Just as I exited the door Edward's fist collided with Jacob's jaw, once, twice; his head pulled back at the force Edward exerted. He then punched him in the gut. He was out of control I had never seen him like this, Emmett was holding him back now, Jacob's two friends also grabbed hold of Jacob.

"Quil, Embry? What the fuck? Why did you bring this asshole here? What the fuck is wrong with you guys?" Leah seethed.

"Leah… he was threatening to drive over here himself, it was either let him drive blind drunk or we take him. I'd rather not bury my best mate." Leah winced, but held her baseball bat with a firm grip, leaning it on her shoulder. She had a menacing look on her face.

"Leah… bestie… why… why are you here with them?" Jacob slurred in her direction.

"Because, you're a motherfucker who's not worth my time anymore, they're much better company than your sorry ass. Go back to your whore Vanessa." She spat.

"She broke up with me." I laughed out loud. Everybody looked at me like I was some crazy bitch.

"So what? You think you can what? Come back to me and that everything is okay? Go fuck yourself you fucking prick, can't you remember you were the one who cheated on me you son of a bitch! You're not fucking worth it. I told you to leave me the fuck alone!" I was about to take a step towards him and punch him in the face again when I was held back. I turned to glare at whoever was trying to prevent me from causing damage to this pitiful son of a bitch, when I noticed it was my dad who had stopped me.

"Bella honey, why don't the rest of you go back inside, I believe there is something I need to deal with." I just nodded my head; the girls and I went back inside as Carlisle went out to where my dad was standing with the other guys.

"Oh honey, why didn't you say anything to me." My mom held me in her arms.

"I'm sorry mom, I just didn't want to deal with his shit. I'm over it and I've handled it."

"Yeah she did Renee, she punched the sorry fucker in the face." Exclaimed Alice, while explaining the rest of the gory details of my tumultuous relationship. I didn't even care that she was essentially dishing out all the shit behind the sugar coating I did.

"Sweets, you should know that it's never okay for someone to treat you like that." Vicky said as she brushed a stray lock from my face.

"Yeah I know."

"And you should know that you should never settle for second best, always choose someone who treats you right. That goes for all of you." Esme chimed in.

"Well thanks to him, this party is a bust." Alice just glared at me. "You know what I mean Alice. It was all great up until he showed up."

"The night is still young my dear, besides as soon as the dog is dealt with we can resume our partying mode."

I was wondering what was taking them so long.

**EPOV**

Jacob fucking Black. That kid has some nerve, showing up to _my_ house and harassing _my_ Bella.

His persistence was fucking annoying the shit out of me. Did he not realise that Bella wanted nothing to do with him? He really is a dumb ass.

I thought we could handle this civilly and he could just leave. I told him that we should take it outside, away from the girls. It was like he had no shred of dignity left, he just kept digging himself into a bigger hole and making more of a fool out of himself.

I tried to talk to him, tell him he's just embarrassing himself, and that she doesn't want anything to do with him anymore.

"Black, just leave. She's done." I said calmly, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"How would you fucking know Cullen? She can speak for herself. Don't put words into her fucking mouth. Now let me see her ." He slurred.

His two friends looked deeply embarrassed, I could tell this was the one place they definitely didn't want to be right now.

"I won't tell you again. Just leave. Now." I glared into his dark eyes.

"No! I just want to fucking talk to her. I made a big fucking mistake, she'll take me back, she always does, this was nothing."

I just saw red. How could he say that what he did was nothing?

"How the fuck can you just act so fucking nonchalant about this? Straight up you fucked her over by fucking someone else, while she fucking put everything into your relationship, helped you when Harry died amongst other things. You gave her nothing, you were just a dead fucking weight in that relationship. You fucking broke her!" I said forcefully.

"You don't know anything Cullen." His hands were balled into fists at his sides.

"The hell I don't, I had to pick up the pieces every fucking time you pulled your shit! _Every fucking time_! So _do not_ tell me I don't know anything."

"How convenient, I bet you liked that huh? Her always going to you. You've always wanted to fuck her, I know you have, now you have the chance." I was so fucking angry, blindingly so. I wasn't thinking. I just lunged for the fucker and threw a right hook to his jaw. I just couldn't stop. I felt the impact of my knuckles hit the bone of his jaw; his head recoiled at the force. I felt really fucking satisfied that I was finally able to get some hits on him and draw some blood at that, I busted his lip open during my rage. I punched his stomach before my brother finally stepped in and held me back.

"Edward that's enough. He's not fucking worth it." Emmett tried to calm me down. I finally calmed down enough to notice Bella lashing out at Black.

"So what? You think you can what? Come back to me and that everything is okay? Go fuck yourself you fucking prick, can't you remember you were the one who cheated on me you son of a bitch! You're not fucking worth it. I told you to leave me the fuck alone!" She was screaming now, I noticed she was walking in his direction, fist ready. I was about to stop her from getting a hit in, when Charlie did it for me. He told her to go back inside with the girls while he dealt with the situation. My dad joining him.

"You okay son?" He looked down toward my hand.

"Yeah I'm all good dad."

Black wiped his lip with his sleeve, the blood starting to dry, I knew that my dad wouldn't let him leave without fixing it, despite how much he may have been pissed at the guy. My dad was way too fucking compassionate.

"So what's this I hear about you not treating my daughter correctly?" Charlie had his don't-fuck-with-me-I'm-the-Chief-of-Police voice. It was pretty fucking scary. Black is sure to shit his pants.

"Uhhh…" Charlie cut him off.

"Uhhh…" He mocked. "I mean, _were you_ fucking around behind my daughters back and treating her like shit?" He said quite blunty. "Don't give me stupid answers boy."

"Yeah."

"Yeah what?"

"Yes sir I was."

"And what the hell do you think you're doing here?" Charlie stepped closer to him, lowering his head so he was in direct eye line with Black. You could tell he wasn't breathing; he was so fucking scared. Charlie sniffed. "And is that… is that alcohol I can smell? You're what 16, 17?"

"16 sir."

"I see, well Mr. Black, I suggest you leave my daughter alone, you are not permitted to contact her in any way shape or form. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir."

"And if you happen to be in the same area at the same time you will leave immediately. Am I clear on that?"

"Crystal sir."

"Good, now get the fuck out of here, and if I even so much as hear about you bothering my daughter or any of her friends I won't let you off so lightly next time. Now scram, and enjoy the rest of your Halloween."

Charlie was a scary motherfucker when he wanted to be, I should remember to never get on his bad side, ever. Dad eventually ended up asking Black to wait for a bit so he could clean up his wound. Jas, Em, James and I made our way back inside the house.

I made my way to Bella as soon as I entered the living room. I opened my arms to her as she let me envelop her in a hug.

"I'm sorry he ruined your night sweetheart." I said softly as I kissed her forehead.

"Me too, but enough of that fucker, let's continue our party. I'm just glad that's all fucking over and done with!" She sighed, grabbing my right hand to examine it. "You're not hurt are you? I could get you some ice."

"I'm fine I promise, besides I've been wanting to do that for a while now." I had wanted to do it the first time he hurt her when they first started dating, but I had to rein it in, he made her happy back then.

She kissed my knuckles and said she was going to get me some ice anyway, and made sure I'd see my dad to get it checked out in case. We were in our own little bubble, that we failed to see we had witnesses to our little exchange. They were giving us knowing looks. Bella and I just looked at them as if to say _What's with the looks? Nothing is going on here._

My dad eventually came back in after tending to the dog outside. He came to check my hand without my asking.

"You did quite the number on his lip son and I'm sure he'll have some bruising." He was fighting back a smile. Trying to maintain a serious expression. "You should know that fighting with your fists never solves anything… but I'll let it go this time. That little son of a bitch deserved it." I just looked at him in surprise and laughed. "Just ice your hand and don't do anything too strenuous."

Bella came back, with a cloth full of ice, handing it to me.

"Thanks sweetheart."

"Don't even worry about it."

**BPOV**

After that debacle I needed another drink.

"Here." James thrust a tall glass of sangria in my hand. "You look like you could use it." He laughed before asking - "So… that was the son of a bitch ex of yours huh?"

"Yeah sadly that was him. I don't know what I was thinking."

He laughed along with me, clinking our glasses together. I wanted to forget about him so I concentrated on James.

"How are you liking your first Halloween in Forks?"

"Pretty impressive, lots of drama, better than any party I've been to." He smirked.

"So… I noticed you and Leah getting pretty close." I wriggled my eyebrows as he playfully shoved my side.

"Yeah, she's a great girl."

"Are you going to ask her out?"

"Maybe." He said sheepishly.

"I hope you do, she's lovely and so are you, therefore you would be very, _very_ lovely together!" I clapped my hands in delight.

"Slow down there girly, we're just getting to know one another. Anyway, what about you and Edward huh? Don't think any of us missed your small exchange earlier."

I don't even know what the hell he was talking about.

"What?"

"You two don't even realise it do you? The way you are with one another. You're pretty much dating. You just haven't put a label to it."

Shit! Were we really not being careful? I don't even remember doing anything with him that was out of the normal.

"I don't know what you're talking about James, Edward and I are always like that." It was true, I guess James hasn't hung around us long enough; of course he'd make that assumption.

"Well, I better go find the others, see what they're all up too. Oh and by the way, is it just me or is the whole Cullen family like insanely good looking?" He asked in all seriousness.

"Yep. They're all pretty otherworldly." I agreed.

"Even Rosalie, who will no doubt be a Cullen some day, she's supermodel material." He was so amazed.

"Oh I know."

Alice was right, the party indeed continued in full swing, the previous incident all but forgotten. We were now all dancing away on the makeshift dance floor. Our parents ended up joining us for a while before they all retired to bed. Vicky left when they were all partied out; Rosalie insisted she would drive the others home at around 2.

The Presets' – _This Boy's In Love_ pumped through the speakers when I felt familiar hands wrap around my waist.

"I figured we should finish our dance from before." He whispered in my ear.

I turned my head to the side and told him it was a perfect idea. The room was glowing with warm colours, as I felt myself get lost in the music as we moved together. Bodies moving in perfect sync with one another. It was all so intoxicating.

"You're staying over." It wasn't a question. His voice was low and husky.

I just nodded my head and leant it against his chest. Everyone around me was totally buzzed, Alice was still talking a mile a minute while herself and Leah downed a few more shots. I decided to only have a few but I had already reached my limit. I didn't want to be throwing up anytime soon.

I checked the time and it was already 1.30 in the morning.

"C'mon you two! One last shot before we leave. Pretty please." Alice released the pout that we couldn't resist.

Leah brought over her bottle of Cuervo so that's what we were going to be downing. She poured out six shots, Emmett was going to sit this one out, he was trying to be responsible.

There was a bowl of lemon and a salt shaker ready for us.

"After this no more Allie, or someone is going to boot everywhere." I grimaced at the thought.

I licked my hand to get it moistened for the salt to stick and caught Edward staring at me. I held back a smile. I grabbed my lemon wedge and held up my shot to toast everyone.

"To a fucking amazing Halloween!" Alice yelled.

"To a fucking amazing Halloween!" We all agreed, clinking our glasses.

I licked the salt off my hand, making sure to stare directly at Edward as he did the same. I downed the shot and bit the lemon. The familiar burn of the tequila going down my throat, mixed with the acidity of the lemon combined with the saltiness was oddly pleasant. Edward and I were practically eye fucking one another right about now, I licked my lips as I saw him suck on his lemon. He winked at me giving me his crooked grin.

"This was an awesome party!" Leah exclaimed a little too happily for someone who is usually so serious. "I had _such_ a great time! I love you guys." She ended up stumbling to each of us, pulling us into tight hugs.

Emmett was helping Rosalie put Jasper, Alice, James and Leah in the Jeep. He stayed behind to watch Scarlett since he still had alcohol in his system he was in no position to drive.

"This is fucking hilarious. You guys getting pissed. I can remember when you were just little kids." He put his arm over my shoulder, shaking his head in disbelief.

"Well… we're growing up now Emmie, you've gotta deal." I laughed. Rose pulled the Jeep out of the driveway with the nearly passed out youths in the occupying seats. She flashed the headlights at us before she drove out of our street. Leaving Edward and I on the porch, as Emmett made his way back to his room.

As Edward and I returned to the living room, I was starting to pick up after everyone when Edward's hand stopped me.

"There's plenty of time for that tomorrow sweetheart. Let's go to bed."

"'Kay."

He let me walk ahead of him up the stairs to his bedroom. As soon as we both made it inside, he quickly locked the door and grabbed a firm hold on me.

"Do you know how fucking hard it was to keep my hands off you tonight? How hard it was walking behind you up these stairs Bella?" His eyes looked darker than usual. I was getting pretty fucking excited.

"It wasn't easy for me either, you look so hot like this." I grabbed his dog tags and pulled him closer to me. His hand slipped under my skirt and found purchase on my ass.

"Mmm lacy." He breathed into my ear. I could feel him fingering my panties. "Fuck you look so beautiful, I don't think I got to tell you tonight. Entirely too fucking sexy sweetheart." My legs were starting to shake at his words.

Thanks to my heels I was tall enough to not have to tiptoe to kiss him. I leant forward to capture his lips in mine, as he moved in the rest of the way. His hands were threaded in my hair, mine tugging his gently at the nape of his neck.

I pushed him forward so that he was making his way back to his bed. When the back of his knees hit the edge of the bed he sat down, as I continued to stand in between his open legs.

"You don't know how long I've waited to kiss you tonight." He said looking straight into my eyes. My hands were now on his shoulders, to keep myself from falling at his words.

His hands were running up and down my thighs, his touch was so soft.

"So Major Cullen… Are you just going to sit there and stare all night?" I asked innocently biting my lip.

"_Fuck_." The next thing I know his hands are on my shirt slowly unbuttoning it and pulling it out from my skirt. I slipped it off revealing my sand coloured bra that really left nothing to the imagination. It was lacy and sheer as fuck. He groaned.

"Baby you're _fucking_ killing me." He licked my nipples through the lace and I fucking shivered. I pulled his shirt off while he was paying attention to my boobs, and pulled his tank off. I could hear the clanging of the dog tags. He looked so hot just sitting there shirtless with just his dog tags, jeans and boots. My pussy was getter increasingly wet, I was surprised I hadn't dripped down my leg.

"Take your boots off baby." I asked. I watched as he leant forward, his back muscles tensed with his movements, I couldn't help but lick my lips at the sight. He was now sitting in front of me barefoot in those sinfully sexy jeans of his. He was a fucking sight to see.

I knelt in front of him and popped the button of his jeans, dragging the zipper down ever so slowly over his hardened cock; pulling his jeans off of him swiftly till he was only in his black Calvin Klein's.

"_Fucking_ sexy." I palmed his pretty peen through his boxer briefs, earning a groan of pleasure from his mouth. He put is hands on my waist telling me to stand up again. He then unbuckled my belt, tossing it on the floor producing a loud thud, then turned me around so that he could unzip my skirt. The fabric pooled at my heel clad feet.

I slowly turned around, only in my matching bra and panties, gold Mary-Jane's and my dainty hat. I have him a sexy smile, saluting him and throwing a wink in his direction.

"Come here pretty girl." He pulled me down so that I was now straddling his lap, reached around me so that he could unhook my bra and proceeded to lick and suck my nipples. I couldn't hold the moan that escaped my lips. Our mouths met, tongues melting into each other, he then whispered in my ear.

"Baby we're gonna have to be quiet. Everyone's home. Can you do that for me?"

"Uh huh." I readily agreed.

He got up and sat me at the edge of the bed, swapping our positions. This time he knelt in front of me, carefully taking off each of my shoes.

"You look pretty_ fucking_ sinful in these heels, they make your beautiful creamy pins go for miles." He unbuckled the strap of each shoe, sliding them off my feet and placing a tiny kiss on my big toe. It tickled so I couldn't help but laugh.

"I see you're still ticklish. Don't worry I won't torture you tonight."

He gently slipped his fingers on each side of my panties and pulled them swiftly down my legs, inhaling them before he tossed them aside.

I started chewing on my bottom lip in anticipation. He parted my legs wider and then I felt his tongue languidly lick up and down my pussy.

"Mmm… feels. So. Fucking. Good." I panted. I then felt him pump two fingers into me.

"Ohh shit… are you sure baby? You hurt your hand." Even through my intense pleasure I didn't want him to strain his injured hand.

He didn't stop so I sat up on my elbows watching him, he smirked at me and waved his right hand – the one that was slightly swollen at the knuckles as he proceeded to pump into me using his left.

"I'm so _fucking_ glad you're ambidextrous when it comes to this." I was certainly amused and fucking impressed.

"_Fuck_ that's such a turn on baby, using your insanely smart speak while I fuck you with my fingers."

I could feel him suck on my clit as he curled his fingers in me, coaxing my orgasm.

"I'm the only one that can make you come." His fingers were pumping faster as I felt the amazing sensations as he rubbed my clit with his thumb.

"_Fuck_!" I was going to come soon.

"Nobody does this the way I do, nobody but me can make you feel like this baby."

His expression was so intense. "Nobody baby… Nobody." I panted.

"Come for me baby. Come all over my fingers."

"Oh… My… God! I'm so close!"'

"I'm not God baby." He looked at me with a crooked grin.

I knew what he wanted to hear. I moaned his name over and over again in his ear.

"That's it baby, come for me."

I bit down on his shoulder hard as I came. He groaned so I gently released his shoulder, licking it to soothe it some. He gave my pussy a few last licks to clean it up before he pulled us onto the bed.

"Sorry for biting you baby, I couldn't help it."

"It's alright, it'll probably leave a mark, but it's ok." He smiled back at me.

I crawled back onto his lap, straddling him again in all my naked glory. I could feel his hard cock pressed against my pussy. The friction was wonderful. I pulled his boxers right off him wanting to feel our skin on each other.

I really wanted him badly. I told him so.

"Baby I want you so badly." I whispered in his ear.

"_Fuck_ Bella." He gripped tighter on my ass as he sucked on my right nipple. "I want you so _fucking_ bad, you don't know how much… but we should wait until we're more sober to do _that_."

I made a little whiny noise to hint my displeasure, and gave him my sad pout.

"Baby don't look at me like that. You know I'll give you anything you want. Just not tonight."

I eventually conceded. We couldn't rush this. He had a point, I would like to savour every moment.

"Okay." I took his face is my hands and attacked his mouth.

He rubbed his fingers on my pussy again, checking to see if I was wet enough for him to finger me again. Silly boy, I'm always wet for him.

It felt a million times more intense when I was on top because he easily located my sweet spot without much effort, not like he ever had any trouble whatsoever finding it. I reached behind me with one hand stroking his cock, using his pre-cum as lube, while the other was grabbing onto the dog tags on his neck. So sexy.

He latched his mouth above my right nipple sucking on it hard.

"It's only fair I mark you in return baby." He smiled at me devilishly. I guess I deserved that one. I felt a bit brave tonight, it must've been from all the alcohol I consumed.

"Baby lie down for me." He did as instructed while I was still on top, with my back to him.

"Sweetheart what are you doing?" I didn't answer. Instead I got on all fours while he was under me and started to suck his beautiful cock. He got the picture and I felt his tongue give fast hard licks on my pussy.

"Ohhh _fuck_ Bella."

The sensations were amazing, when he would lick my clit I moaned causing him to buck into my mouth and lick my pussy faster. It was an amazing chain reaction.

We eventually came together and were in a blissful high.

"That was great sweetheart."

"Mmm hmm." I agreed.

"Let's get ready for bed now." We both went to the bathroom brushing our teeth; he slipped his boxers on while I put my panties and a shirt of his on.

Happy Halloween indeed.

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**How was it guys? Please review with any thoughts.**

**Links to Bella's sexy undergarments on my profile. Check it out, I seriously want a pair. & please do check out the link to the Presets' song mentioned. **

**Thanks again for reading lovelies xx**

**Pretty please leave me love?  
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	20. Chapter 20

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**I just realised I made a major faux pas which I'm sorry about! In the previous chapter I said something about it being too late for trick-or-treaters to be knocking, when they were celebrating it the day before. Just pretend they got some knocks anyway. My mistake totally bugged me that's why I apologise for any overlooked errors!  
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**Thanks to those who left some love and reviewed! Robward gives you_ three_ x... x... x ;)  
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**Happy reading lovelies!**

**Cheers x  
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**Ch 20 Unexpected**

**EPOV**

This morning I woke up looking straight ahead of me outside my window, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, it was grey as usual and there was a light sprinkling of rain. I walked up to my balcony while having my morning stretch, hoping that the cold air would wake me up some. I was becoming too accustomed to Bella gently waking me up by running her fingers through my hair whenever she stayed over.

Today, Bella would be driving the two of us to school. She's such a stubborn little thing, if I had my way I would always be the one to drive us to and from school. But then again Mondays and Fridays were her usual days if she had to transport her major. I got changed into some jeans, a long sleeve, my leather jacket and black sneakers, grabbing my black beanie and headed for the kitchen to grab some breakfast.

"Morning mom." I kissed her on the cheek while she read the latest issue of _(inside) _magazine.

"Morning honey, I made French toast, it's warming in the oven."

"Thanks ma." I walked to the oven and grabbed my breakfast, while noticing something wrapped up in foil. I took it out, holding it up.

"What's this?"

"For Bella's second breakfast, I made extra and wrapped it up for you to give to her."

"Thanks mom, she'll love it."

"I know she will." She gave me a small smile, while sipping her coffee and flipping through her magazine.

After eating the rest of my delicious fucking breakfast I made my way to Bella's holding her Esme care package in one hand and my satchel in the other.

She still looked half asleep by the time I reached her but perked up instantly upon spotting the foil package in my hand.

"What you got there Cullen?" She said sweetly and entirely all too curiously while eyeing the shiny square intently.

"Oh this?" I said whilst nonchalantly looking down at the warm French toast in my hand. "Just something mom made this morning."

"What is it?" She was trying to grab it from me as I held it above her head. I laughed at her attempt to jump without falling on her ass.

"Shut up Cullen and let me see!" She looked at me through her impossibly long lashes and gave me a pout complete with bottom lip bite. I was done for. I lowered the package and held it in front of her as she eagerly opened each side of the package to reveal the hidden treasure.

"Mmm your mom's French toast. I think I'm in heaven. Such a good second breakfast." She practically inhaled the two slices mom packed for her.

"Your appetite never ceases to amaze me."

"Shut-up! You love it."

"Yeah I do, and good morning by the way." We were already seated in her truck so I leant over and gave her our three.

The drive to school was slow, but that was just Bella's driving skills, always so cautious; that and I have a sneaking suspicion this truck doesn't go more that 50. By the time we pulled up in our spot, we were met with James' familiar blue Ford. He had taken to parking in the spot that was now vacant since Bella and I rode together these days.

The light sprinkling from earlier this morning had subsided but for how long it would last I don't know; so we both exited the truck and walked the short distance to James' driver's side.

"Morning guys." He said expelling a loud yawn. "I fucking hate Monday fucking morning. I just want to sleep. It's sleeping in weather." His yawn was contagious, as I found myself mimic him.

"Don't I fucking know it, besides my friend if you haven't noticed Forks is like this 24/7." I laughed as I pat him on the shoulder.

"Remind me why I'm still here?" He answered jokingly.

"Because you made fuck awesome friends is why." Bella said while playfully nudging him in the ribs.

Just as Alice and Jasper pulled into the spot next to James the heavens opened up and it really started to pour. There was no use in fumbling around for our umbrellas so we just bolted towards homeroom.

When I entered class with Alice I couldn't help but notice all the stares I was receiving and noticed that people were whispering amongst each other as I passed them to sit in my seat.

"What the fuck was that about?" I asked Alice as I motioned with my head towards Lauren Mallory and her sidekick Jessica Stanley. It was so fucking unfortunate that they happened to be in our class first thing each day.

"I have no idea, but by lunch I'm pretty sure I'll find out. Those bitches are so fucking nasty. I hate that we have to breathe the same air as them every morning." She shuddered.

The day continued to drag on and I kept receiving the same stares and whispers as I had this morning. It was getting pretty fucking out of hand. I was glad the bell was five minutes away from ringing, signalling lunch.

I had already gathered my books so that as soon as it rang I could make a rush to the cafeteria. I walked quickly, avoiding eye contact with everybody until I was met with the familiar lunch table. I waited patiently for the others to come.

**BPOV**

I was in fourth period Food Tech happily making the recipe for today's practical lesson, mixed berry cheesecake; this was supposedly meant to teach us about the use of gelatine in cooking. It was always good to have this subject before lunch because it meant I'd have something to share with the others, although for today we had to wait until the end of the day so that our cakes could set in the fridge.

Angela Weber was my cooking partner. She's such a lovely beanpole of a girl with dark hair and cool glasses; who occasionally sat with us during lunch with her boyfriend Ben Cheney. We were both diligently working on the cream cheese filling when she asked me an unexpected question.

"Hey Bella, can I ask you something?" She asked in her quiet voice.

"Sure Ange."

"Well… before I ask, I just want you to remember I'm not one to gossip or follow it for that matter but since we're friends I just had to ask."

"Whatever it is Ange you can tell me you know." I turned to look at her, sincerity in my eyes.

"Well it's just that I couldn't help but overhear Lauren saying that Edward was going to have a baby, some people are saying it's with Tanya, others are saying it's with you." She whispered it so low that no one around us could hear.

"Jesus." I didn't know what to say. "I don't know what to say."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up. I know it isn't any of my business." Angela looked back down towards the mixing bowl in her hands.

"It's fine, trust me, besides I'm glad I heard it from you and not from the skank brigade. You do know it's all bullshit right? Besides do I look pregnant aside from an occasional food baby?" I rolled my eyes at the stupidity of high school gossip.

"I figured as much, I mean it did come from Lauren after all." She said with a small laugh.

"What the fuck is her problem anyway? She doesn't know what she's talking about." I was so fucking annoyed right now, I was so glad I could let it out while I was crushing the biscuits for the base of my cake.

Now that I thought about it, people were giving me weird looks and whispering around me. I usually don't pay attention to the shit that goes down at school; obviously Edward and I were part of today's rumour mill, fucking great.

As the bell signalling lunch rang I hastily made my way to the cafeteria, blocking out everyone in the process. As I approached our table I was met with a very pissed off looking Edward.

"So you've heard." I said whilst taking my seat next to him.

"Not something in particular, but by the looks and whispering I've gathered it has something to do with me?" He asked looking at me questioningly.

"_And me_ apparently. Angela told me last period that Mallory's been saying shit about you having a kid on the way, and rumours are circulating that you've either gotten Tanya or myself pregnant. Fucking bullshit isn't?" I said disbelievingly.

He groaned and pulled his head in his hands, which were resting on the table. He started to yank on his hair, a sure sign that he was indeed frustrated. I was just waiting for him to pinch the bridge of his nose. I didn't have to wait long as he did it as soon as the thought left me.

"Jesus…" Just then Alice, James and Jasper appeared.

"That fucking slut bag." Alice sat down loudly in her seat, glaring in the direction of Lauren's table. "I fucking knew she would have something to do with this."

Just then my phone buzzed from my pocket. I glanced down at the message.

_Bella dear, please bring Edward _

_over after school. _

_I think we need to have a chat._

_- Mom_

I had an inkling on what this meeting was all about. I just wanted to punch Lauren in the vagina right now. Then her fucking face. I was so mad.

Just as I placed my phone back in my pocket Edward had his out and had a puzzled look on his face. I only assume he had a similar message to mine. He looked at me questioningly.

"Let me guess? Meeting at mine straight after school?"

"Yeah… how'd you know?" I pulled my phone out showing him the message.

"Looks like our mothers have heard the news." I said rolling my eyes.

"Fucking hell!" was all he said as he slammed his fists onto the table loudly. Bad fucking move, it caused everyone to openly look in our direction.

"Jesus fucking Christ news travels fucking quick here!" James said as he shook his head from side to side.

"Welcome to small town living Forks style." I said sarcastically. "Home to bitches with big mouths, who gossip when they don't have a cock shoved in it."

"Burn." he said as he laughed.

"Easy there darlin' ya don't wanna let them get to ya, don't add fuel to the fire." Why does Jasper always have to be so rational? I huffed out of annoyance and continued picking at my sandwich. Willing this day to just end.

Art last period was just what I needed. I got one of my blank canvases and took my aggression out on it. It had a series of marks and dark colours on it with the only vibrancy coming from the red. I could hear I wasn't the only one using my art as a form of venting. I could hear the loud angry notes echoing from the music department down the hallway. Edward definitely wasn't going easy on that piano.

**EPOV**

Fuck me! How the fuck did all this shit come out? Tanya doesn't even go to our fucking school for chrissakes! Now I'm worried about the shit she's no doubt going through at hers.

I was glad sixth period came and I would have an outlet to vent my frustrations. I sat at the piano and didn't even think. I just played what I was feeling. I felt sorry for the keys because I was hitting them with such a force. Thankfully my music class wasn't full of students – the other class in the morning had filled out, and the ones who were here weren't the type to keep up with shitty school gossip. So I was in my safe haven.

The past couple of days had given me a lot to take in. What with the whole Tanya incident, the Black encounter (which my knuckles were still slightly swollen from) and now this bullshit gossip, which now has Bella and I locked into a meeting with our mothers after school. Fucking wonderful!

After homeroom, I walked towards the Food Tech room where Bella had asked me to wait. She said she had to pick-up the cake she made from her class today.

"Even the sight of that masterpiece can't put a smile on my face." I said to her as she held the container in her hands.

"I know what you mean. I feel like shit, I can't even fucking enjoy this! Edward this is food!" She held up the container to my face emphasizing her point.

"Well, we should get going to the Swan-Cullen meeting. Wouldn't want to keep them waiting, mom and Renee must be shitting bricks."

As Bella and I walked to her truck we passed queen bitch herself, Mallory, her sidekick Stanley and lap dog Newton. I could hear them snickering as we went by.

"All this time I just thought Bella was getting fat, guess I was wrong, she's just gotten herself knocked up. And trapping Edward for life." Said the irritatingly nasal voice of queen bitch. The dumb ass didn't think to stop there oh no, she just continued spouting out bullshit. "Such a fucking slut, who knew?" Then I heard her cackling like the witch she is, Stanley and Newton joining in.

I could feel the tension rolling off of Bella the moment the words left Mallory's mouth. I just hoped that Bella wouldn't do anything rash, because she knows they're not worth it. I had a hard time myself trying to abate my anger.

I guess I was wrong, she handed me the cake then turned around so fast before I could stop her and punched Mallory straight in the nose. Hard. Then glared at Stanley as if to say 'don't even fucking think about it because I won't think twice about hitting your huge fucking nose.' Newton the pussy that he is just turned around and left the two. Typical.

"Bitch!" Mallory was holding her nose in her hands making her sound even more nasal.

Bella just glared at her, flipped them off and proceeded towards the truck without saying a word. We just stood there for a bit until she managed to calm herself down. I reached my open hand out to her and she dropped her keys into my palm. There was no way she was in any condition to drive. I looked over at her right hand, the one she used to punch Mallory with.

"You're going to need to ice that sweetheart." I told her while kissing her knuckles.

"Bella! Oh my God! Are you okay? I saw what just happened." Alice pulled her into a tight embrace and did a once over on her hand as well.

"Yeah I'm fine. The bitch just needed to shut the hell up. She doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. She's just lucky I kept the punch above the waist." She said angrily.

"What did she say?" Bella was just staring out to nowhere in particular as Alice's inquisitive eyes met mine. I just shook my head as if to say 'Now is _not_ a good time.' She understood immediately and just hugged Bella before saying goodbye.

I opened the passenger side door for her and helped her get inside. Once I got into the driver's seat she managed to say something.

"I can't believe I just did that." A small smile was starting to make its way onto her face. "Now I know what you mean when you say it feels good to hit the shit out of your punching bag when you're pissed."

I offered a small laugh as I started up the engine.

"Seeing you all angry was pretty hot." I turned giving her a wink.

"Shut it you, now let's go to my house and get this meeting over and done with." I did as she asked and in no time I pulled us into her driveway.

"That's weird dad's car is here." I said while motioning to the familiar black Mercedes.

"The cruiser's here to. I thought dad was still going to be at work." She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders.

We got out of the truck and hesitantly walked in through the door. It was pretty quiet considering both our moms were in the same vicinity as one another. Usually when the forces of Esme and Renee combine loud chatter and laughter could always be heard. Not this time. This time it was hushed whispers.

As we suspected our dads were present and seated with our moms in Bella's living room.

"Hey kids, could you come join us in here." Renee said pensively.

"Okay." Both Bella and I replied and took a seat in the love seat facing them.

"Now before we start talking, I want you both to know that you're not in any trouble." Sure Renee may have said that but I sure didn't miss the way Charlie had his hands balled into tight fists, Renee trying to ease his tension by prying his hand open to lace around hers; and my mom putting a comforting hand on my dads shoulder.

"Umm okay?" Bella answered for the both of us.

My mom decided to continue after exhaling a deep breath. "Kids, you both know that you can come to any one of us if there is anything you need right?"

I was tired of them trying to ease us into whatever the hell they were going to say so I just decided to get it out there.

"I take it you all heard the gossip circulating today?"

"Yes, son." Dad agreed with a nod. "As you know Tiffany Mallory is one of the receptionists at the hospital, she had made rather outlandish accusations in the lunchroom today."

"Yeah I can only fucking imagine, like mother like daughter." I said annoyed while rolling my eyes. "But before we continue this I'm just going to get ice for Bella's hand." I got up and walked over to the kitchen.

**BPOV**

Edward had just walked out of the living room to the kitchen, had he not mentioned my hand, I would've already forgotten all about it, it wasn't bugging me the slightest; but that's Edward – always overreacting.

"What happened to your hand sweetheart?" Asked Carlisle as he examined my right hand.

"It's nothing honestly." Edward had conveniently made his way back to me with a tea towel filled with ice at that moment.

"Don't downplay anything Bells, I saw how hard you threw that punch, and her nose must be hard as fuck." He said as he placed the ice on my right hands knuckles.

"Bella? Is that true, you punched someone?" My mom said concern evident in her voice.

"Yeah… but it's not like she didn't deserve it." I replied.

"Who did you hit Bells?" Of course dad would ask that.

"Lauren."

"Tiffany's daughter I assume?" asked Carlisle.

"Yeah."

"So can either one of you fill us in from the beginning?" Esme asked curiously.

Edward decided to tell her about my encounter with Kate and Irina, subsequently leading to the conversation with Tanya.

"Oh my. Why didn't you say anything honey?" Esme came up to Edward and hugged him against her tightly.

"I'm sorry ma, it's just… it was _a lot_ to deal with when I broke up with her that night. You saw how I was." He said looking down at his feet. "And I didn't know how I could just bring Tanya and her situation up, it's not something that I could just bring up casually over dinner you know?"

"I understand that, but I meant what I said earlier, always speak to us when there's something going on with you."

I then took the floor and explained what happened today at school, all the whispering and looks Edward and I received.

"That's awful honey. I forget how vicious high school could be." I was now locked into a tight embrace with my own mom.

"Tell me about it, that's what set Bella off. Mallory had the nerve to call Bella fat and she called her a slut. She has no fucking idea what she's talking about." Edward explained.

"That little bitch!" Holy shit! Esme hardly loses her cool.

"I think you and I need to have words with Tiffany, don't you think Es?" Mom looked at her partner in crime knowingly.

"Don't do anything stupid ladies, I don't want to have to arrest you." Dad said as he laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

Carlisle brought the conversation back to a serious nature.

"Now I understand that Bella got involved in this because of the close nature of your friendship and people made assumptions…" He pinched the bridge of his nose and ran his fingers through his blond hair before he continued, definitely Edward's dad.

"You see Edward, Bella. Now that you're both 17 now, we think that maybe sleeping over in each others beds isn't the best idea anymore. Before you protest, just here me out okay." We both nodded as he proceeded to speak.

"Well… it's not that we don't trust the both of you, and understand that the two of you are indeed only friends, but you _are _still both hormonal teenagers at the end of the day." He must've noticed Edward's and my identical looks of confusion.

"What I'm trying to say is that if you are going to continue your regular sleepovers that it's under the condition that either Bella stays in the guest room at our house, or both your bedroom doors have to be fully opened at all times. We know this is a big surprise, but after today's _gossip_ the four of us sat down and thought that it could indeed be a very real situation we could've been faced with, and we're just trying to be responsible parents here. We're not saying that you can't have them, there are just rules now, you're not 5 year olds anymore." He said apologetically.

I just looked at Edward who had his mouth open in surprise, like myself. _That_ was definitely unexpected.

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**Read me pretty please: Just so you know, I'll try and update as often as I can, Spring semester is starting up next week meaning another full time course load for me. Yay... BUT seriously just so you all know - I won't be abandoning YKMSW. I'm even thinking about making a banner heehee before I have no time left for myself and anything else but like I said, I'm still thinking about it. I'm even watching _Twilight_ again right now on my laptop lol, it looks so different, I can fully see their contact colours, excellent graphics capabilities indeed Steve Jobs. lol**

**Anywho...  
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**s'il vous plaît lu et revue - looks & sounds better in French lol, me loves the translation widget on my laptop.  
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**Thanks so much for reading xx**


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**I know this is a short one, but I'm glad to have something to offer those who are still interested in reading my little story. **

**Happy reading!**

**Cheers x**

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**Ch 21 The Four Letter Word**

**EPOV**

"So… when are ya' gonna make an honest woman out of Bells?" I just gave Jasper the 'What the fuck are you on about' look and continued eating my slice of pizza.

"Excuse me?" I asked with a tone of indifference and a hint of annoyance.

"You fuckin' heard me, don't think I can't see what's goin' on."

I continued eating. Each bite seeming harder to swallow than the last, it was like I was swallowing large quantities of sand. Sam's pizza is never usually dry.

"I don't know what you're talking about man." Shrugging my shoulders for effect.

"Oh get off it. You know exactly what I'm talkin' about. What… are you ashamed or somethin'? Because Bella is like a sister to me; I know I haven't known her as long as you have but so help me if you hurt her." His eyes were glaring at me now, elbows resting on his knees as he sat on the side of my bed staring at me from my position on my chair opposite him. "What are your intentions with her? You better not be using her as a fuck buddy or some shit, because I expected differently from you. That's so not cool man. Either ask her to officially be your girl or quit fooling around. She deserves better than that."

I looked at him flabbergasted. I can't believe he'd even put me in that category. I told him so.

"What the fuck Jas! I can't believe you think that low of me. I would never do that!" I pinched the bridge of my nose and groaned in frustration. But he was right. I wanted nothing more than to make her mine and what we were doing together was bordering 'fuck buddy' territory, even if neither of us would like to call it that. Remember the whole no labels thing? Fuck I'm confused.

"Ah… so you admit that there's something more than friendship going on between the two of you?" He said all knowingly. Alice is really rubbing off on him. I guess it was time I had someone to confide in about my situation with Bella. Although I do feel quite guilty since I told her I wouldn't breathe a word of our still undefined relationship to anybody, including Jasper. I hope she wouldn't hate me.

"I think I'm in love with her man. No wait I know I'm in love with her." Whatever I felt for Tanya in the past was nothing compared to what I feel for Bella this very instant and if I wasn't kidding myself what, I've felt for her the entire time she's been in my life.

He looked at me and cocked his eyebrow as he clasped his hands together and rested his chin on them.

"Let me guess, you just haven't grown a pair and told her yet have you?"

I just nodded; there was no point in denying it anymore.

"Listen Jas, this stays between us okay? Our _situation_ is something that hasn't even been defined between the two of us. I'd like to see where she wants this to go before my affections are publicly known." I was really hoping that he would understand.

"Of course man, I wasn't gonna say anything to anyone. It's your business." I let out a huge breath of relief and told him the basic gist of what has been happening between Bella and I as of late. Well all of it without going into intimate details. Like I said, I don't kiss and tell.

**BPOV**

So the whole amending rules to our sleepover arrangement was kind of a moot point at Edward's house, you see since Em moved out he pretty much doesn't have to worry about anything, nobody occupied the room near by and Esme and Carlisle's room happened to be down the very large hallway of their home. I have a feeling they were just doing it for the whole "responsible parent charade" they like to have going for themselves. Edward's parents and mine for that matter don't really restrict us much as you might've noticed, making our households much happier. We're less likely to rebel if we aren't shackled down with many rules, and the whole trust factor ensures that neither he nor I would abuse it. I think it works wonderfully. But still we kept it up for a while, it's not like they really checked up on us frequently or at all for that matter.

The gossiping and stares that we received from the student body had somewhat died down since the incident. Thanksgiving came and went a few days ago and December was now looming. It was too fucking cold to function, but of course that wasn't anything new. Winter is always entirely too cold here in Forks. Alice thought it was about time we updated our winter wardrobes, well more so on my part since she's always prepared. That is what brought us to Seattle for the day for a spot of shopping.

"So Bella, are you gonna tell me what's been going on between you and Edward? Don't think I haven't noticed the shift in your _friendship_." She was looking through a rack of coats in the department store we were currently in. She wasn't even looking at me to gauge my reaction, for which I was glad. My facial expressions always give too much away without my having to say anything, especially the blush I currently feel making its appearance.

"I don't know what you're talking about Alice." I continued to look at the sweaters in front of me.

"See that right there missy is a dead give away."

"What are you on about Alice, care to fill me in because I have no idea what you mean." She finally looked me in the eye; ready I'm sure to call me on my bullshit.

"Don't lie to me Bellie. For one I know there's something up because you used 'Alice' and you're blushing a deep shade of crimson right now." She turned back to the coats and picked one up tossing it to the ever-growing pile of things to try on in my arms.

"I've waited long enough for you to tell me what's been going on between you two and I've had enough already. My patience is wearing thin. You know you can tell me anything." I could tell by the tone she used she was incredibly frustrated.

I sighed in dejection. I guess she was right, but I felt horrible for both keeping something like this from her, and feeling a twinge of guilt for what I'm about to say since Edward and I had agreed not to let anyone know about our undefined situation.

"Look Alice, I didn't intentionally keep anything from you, trust me. This… _situation_ Edward and I have found ourselves in isn't even defined. We're not anything to each other. I don't think he could ever love me. I mean; I'm just me you know? He could have anyone he wants. Why would he settle?" I shrugged my shoulders and walked off to the changing rooms.

I wasn't surprised to find Alice straight on my heels, following me into the certainly not big enough for two changing room.

"You have got to be fucking kidding me Bella. What do you mean 'I don't think he could ever love me, why would he settle'?" She said mocking me, and making quotation marks with her fingers trying to make a point.

"Are you even hearing yourself clearly Bella? Because you sure sound like you're spouting out a load of bullshit." I tried to ignore her by trying on the grey long sleeved shirt while she sat in the chair looking at me incredulously. Once I had the top on I turned around and showed her.

"What? Don't look at me that way Allie."

"I can look at you any way I want to Bellie because right now you're being ridiculous, and you're also buying that it looks good on you." I agreed and tried on the next item of clothing.

"Honey, I'm not trying to be mean or anything but you obviously don't see things the way I do and that boy… that boy loves you." Her face changed from one of incredulity to a soft look of understanding. "I think he's loved you your whole life, he worships the ground you walk on. So don't tell me you think otherwise. Bella he's not Jacob." With that she put a reassuring hand on my shoulder giving it a light squeeze and turned to leave the changing room; but before she left hyper pixie was back in her element and said in a wistful tone that a pair of boots outside were calling her so off she went, leaving me to mull over everything she had just said.

She was right; Edward is no Jacob. But were do we go from here? Do I want to be in a relationship? One I know that will eventually have to end when we leave for college. Or should we just stay in this safe bubble we've built. Do I choose safety or inevitable heartbreak?

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**Thanks so much for reading :) **

**I wonder what Bella will choose. Hopefully I can update soon. But I'm making no promises so I can avoid disappointment from you guys and myself. This sem really has been crazy, my hairs been falling out from all the stress :(**

**Thanks again for reading lovelies x  
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	22. Chapter 22

**AN: S. Meyer owns _Twilight_ and its characters.**

**Hey all I'm back from my hiatus. About fucking time (I know). Hopefully there are still readers out there :S. So I'll give a little explanation on my absence, basically RL really, like really unbelievably kicked my ass. Things got better after I had a little _me_ time as soon as spring semester finished up so I started writing again the other day. I really thought I wouldn't be able to get back into the swing of things but I guess I owe it to you guys to continue. I was seriously close to giving up. For reals. But after writing this chapter I found it to be therapeutic once again.  
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**Thanks to those who've reviewed! Edward of course gives you three xxx**

**Happy reading lovelies! Cheers x  
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**Ch 22 Stubbing Toes and the Bumps Along The Way  
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"Fucking Jesus H Christ on a stick, that goddamn hurts like a mother fucking fuckity fuck fuck!" I think my _little_, shit who am I kidding it was loud as fuck outburst may have woken the whole Cullen household. Shit. I couldn't help it, I hate, fuck-ing _hate _with a passion stubbing my toe. On Edward's bed. When I need to pee. Motherfucker was laughing at me. I glared holes through his forest greens.

I told him to shut up and stop laughing at my expense, which he eventually did, but fucking hell could this morning get any worse.

"Shit! Someone's coming." The distinct sound of footsteps heading towards Edward's room was getting closer and closer and fuck I'm only wearing a pair of lacy boy shorts. And the door is slightly ajar as per required by the new rules. Yes, slightly ajar, I mean really? Would we really sleep with it open wide, knowing all the shit we get up to wouldn't be copasetic at all with the parental units.

"Fuck!" Edward looked paler than usual. Now is not the time for him to be a pussy.

"Yeah fuck is right dipshit, where did you throw my boxers and tank?" I asked him as I was doing the I-need-to fucking-pee dance, which wasn't helping my stubbed toe situation, hopping from foot to foot whilst trying to locate said garments.

Edward was panicking now looking desperately for my lost articles of clothing. Last night during our activities Edward got a bit hasty and didn't bother to place them on his bedside table where I could easily change, which I forgot to do since that boy gave me three _magnificent_ orgasms and I just conked the fuck out. I think Esme and Carlisle seeing my tatas would definitely call for some type of Swan-Cullen family meeting about sleeping arrangements. Again.

"Look under the comforter, they're probably there somewhere." I told him, whilst trying to cover my boobs. So glad the Cullen's have optimal heating during winter and that my ladies weren't massively huge that they'd be spilling out and causing more trouble.

"Edward, Bella? Is everything alright? I heard yelling, and why is the door not fully open?" Carlisle rasped out. Shit I must've woken him up for sure, now I feel like a total bitch since he probably got in a few hours ago from his shift.

It all happened in slow motion. The door was being pushed open just as Edward managed to find my missing clothing, tossing it to me. Thanking baby Jesus for not making me a klutz at this moment, I managed to catch them with ease, and slip both tank and boxers on just as Carlisle's head poked through the door. I let out a huge breath of relief.

"Everything all right sweetheart? I heard yelling and got worried."

"I'm fine, I just stubbed my toe on that stupid bed, now if you'll excuse me I really need to pee."

I was surprised I hadn't peed myself at this stage, with all the drama/excitement that ensued. Carlisle let out a hearty laugh, prompting Edward's to start up again. Just as I was walking toward the bathroom to relieve myself, Carlisle just had to point out to me that my top was on inside out _and_ fucking back to front. Fuck me. Repeatedly.

Edward's laughing ceased, and there was a definite audible gulp from his direction. Serves him right the fucker. I just gave him the look that clearly said "YOU DID THIS TO ME FUCKER" and walked straight to my porcelain heaven, fixing my wardrobe malfunction whilst I perched my ass on the toilet seat, scowling in the process. I figured replying to his father's comment and stuttering would equal to me be guilty of sleeping topless in his youngest son's bed, so I chose to bite my tongue on this one.

This morning was beginning to be complete and utter shite. Fucking great.

**EPOV**

Poor Bella. First she stubs her toe then my dad almost walks into my room with her sans appropriate apparel, God I love her body. My poor girl was having a fucking shitty morning I could tell. She was going to need some major cheering up, something like five fucking servings of my mother's French toast major. When she walked back into my room from the bathroom, I couldn't help but stare at her beauty. The beauty she is completely oblivious to. I've lost count of how many times I've tried to drill it into that pretty little head of hers that she's fucking beautiful. Fucking perfect. But no, Bella won't have any of that. Shit, she gets me way off track. I opened my arms for her to crawl into, burying her face in the crook of my neck.

"Sorry your day hasn't started off so well sweetheart. And I'm sorry for laughing at you earlier, but you know, you saying the Lord's name in vain and various forms of f-bombs is all kinds of hilarious this early in the morning." She looked up at me and gave me her signature scowl, to which I simply gave her our three, somewhat easing her sour mood.

"Feed me and maybe I can forgive your ass." She mumbled into my chest. I swear I heard her inhaling deeply.

"Bella… are you sniffing my shirt?" I asked a little fucking amusedly.

"Yes, and why the fuck not? You smell all kinds of good, and don't even get me started on you mister, I know you've been sniffing me like a coke addict!" Ah, she got me there. Nothing gets past my girl. Fuck I really liked the sound of that. Jesus how I want her to be _my girl. _You have got to be fucking kidding me! Cue the fucking internal soundtrack, swear to G-O-D I'm hearing the Temptations' _My Girl_ in my head right about now. I checked to my side and my iPod was on but definitely not playing that song. But in all seriousness I'm getting over this whole no labels thing. I want Bella Swan to officially be _mine. _I know I sound like a possessive bastard but shit you can't blame me when Bella Swan is involved.

**BPOV**

Why is Edward staring at me like that and bopping his head to some silent beat with a goofy looking grin on his face? I was now waving my hand in front of his face, anxious to get my breakfast on, while he was looking at me in a complete daze.

"Helloo? Anyone home?"

I was now snapping my fingers at him, still getting no response. Well I suppose I'll have to find my own breakfast/snap him out of wherever the fuck he went.

I'm such a good multi-tasker and like the dirty bitch that Edward evokes in me, I made my way down to his holy land and gave that baby a big ole' lick then put his whole length into my mouth. That should do the trick. Any second now.

"_Fuck _baby what are you doing to me?" Bingo! I sat up and looked him dead in the eye with a hint of a smirk gracing my lips.

"Well I had to snap you outta wherever you went just before now. I was seriously snapping my fingers in your face and waving like a loser."

"I sure as fuck hope that you finish what you've started because I'm not going downstairs with a woody. What will mom think?" He motioned toward his pretty peen. That was all the encouragement I needed to complete my morning assault on said pretty peen.

As we walked down toward the mouth-watering smells of an Esme Cullen breakfast spread he whispered seductively in my ear that he'd return the favour as soon as we got back upstairs. My morning was starting to look up. Thank God!

x-x-x

I finally made it back home after Edward returned the favour, to me _twice_ before he had to run an errand for Esme in Port Angeles. The house was eerily quiet so I made my way to the fridge to find any sort of note mom or dad may have left for me. On my way there I was silently thanking baby Jesus that my parents weren't having sex and making me rush straight back to Edward's warm and inviting bed, which sounded good right about now. Pity he wasn't home.

_Honey, _

_Your dad and I are out getting last minute xmas things. Be back soon. Call us if you need anything._

_Love you,_

_Mom xox + Dad _

I loved how dad's easy to distinguish scrawl that rivalled my own, was added there too with a funny looking smiley face. I smiled hugely thinking about how lucky I am to have crazy parents like them.

I can't believe Christmas was only a couple more days away. Where the fuck had time gone? I remember talking to Alice and she was asking to borrow one of my DVDs; then decided she would do so when she came back from her vacation, and she used the words 'Yeah I'll just get it off you _next year_'. That definitely threw me off. Which brought me to thinking about New Years Eve and the possibility of having someone to finally share a midnight kiss with. After speaking with Alice and thinking things through, like really getting into the depths of my over thinking, overanalyzing mind and thinking about what it was I wanted, I was now more determined than ever to take the plunge and try and make Edward Cullen mine, like make it official and all that. I hope to all that is holy that he'd reciprocate the feelings I am currently feeling towards him. I can't exactly identify what the fuck it all really means. Like _really_ means, but I had a good feeling about this - about us, about Edward and I. And now I really liked the sound of that. This was definitely something more than I ever felt for that asshole Jacob 'who-only-thinks-with-his-dick' Black.

After I shot mom a text letting her know that I was home I decided to change into my paint shirt and head into my studio to get cracking on the Christmas cards I was designing for my loved ones. I absolutely love doing things like this, I always thought that the effort you put into making something for someone by hand is always worth it every year when I see the big smiles on their faces. It's become something of a tradition around here and Alice has been pestering me for God knows how long for me to start selling them. She's gone so far as to suggest I sell them made-to-order online or set up a stall at the local markets and that she would be my financial backer. I mean it's not something I'd cancel out in the future but for now I like making all of this customized one off shit, I'm pretty fucking content with the state of things now. Oh and you know the usual Bella Swan internal monologue of whether or not my designs are good enough and all that shit. I decided then and there that my new years resolution would be to up my self-confidence level, because Lord knows that shit needs some boosting.

After I finished illustrating the design I wanted to place on the front of the card, which happened to be hand generated type that said 'Merry Christmas' surrounded by delicate snowflakes all done in my favourite black felt tip pen; I scanned it and got straight to work on my trusty Macbook. I added some colour using Photoshop then put it all together on InDesign. I was glad I picked up my paper stock whilst I had gone shopping for presents the other day so I was able to print them on the beautiful egg shell coloured card. I cut the square shaped cards on my cutting mat, writing each individual message for everyone on my list and set them aside for later.

Now that was done, the arduous task of gift-wrapping was next. Thankful mom and dad were out I could do so without them wanting to peak, more so mom than dad. My mom being the woman that she is, always comes up with crafty ways to try and find the presents to find out what I had bought her. You would think the roles should be reversed right? Only in the Swan household I thought to myself as a little chuckle escaped. This year I decided to wrap everything up in kraft paper and using a cream coloured twine instead of ribbon, and making little swing tags to go with each present. When I was done with everything they looked like cute little delivery packages. I made snowflakes to decorate the gifts with out of silver cardboard, the good kind that was almost like foil and slipping the cards I made underneath. I was pleased with my handy-work and put them safely under the tree in our living room.

I hadn't realised how long I actually spent during my little session since I completely lose track of time when my creative juices are flowing, it was almost 6 and mom and dad weren't back yet. I reckon they were probably stuck trying to get out of the mall parking lot, getting sucked into the Christmas shopping crowd frenzy that is always a familiar sight this time of year. I walked back into the kitchen in search of something decent to eat. I hadn't had anything since I was at Edward's earlier in the day and my stomach was certainly feeling it. I swear I could hear it trying to speak to me, telling me to feed it. I chuckled at my ever-amusing ramblings and managed to find some left over lasagne from the other night and contemplated whether or not I should get dinner started. I decided that having a light meal before I got started would be the wiser option, since I didn't want to faint of starvation mid slicing vegetables or something ridiculous like that. Knowing me and my klutzy ways it was a plausible enough reason. I didn't need a visit to the emergency room any time soon.

After I ate I realised we didn't have much in the fridge for fixing dinner. Maybe mom and dad were doing some grocery shopping too, but just in case a trip to the store was necessary now. I looked outside and was disappointed to find out the roads were slick with ice. I'd have to make sure I would drive extra careful and much slower than usual.

I ran up to my room and changed into my jeans, boots, sweater and heavy winter coat, making sure to grab my moleskine to write my list for what I needed to make Grandma Swan's minestrone. It was fucking cold out so soup would definitely be something to look forward to. Oh and crusty baguettes to dip into said soup would be absolute heaven in my mouth.

I wrote a quick note for mom and dad in the event they arrived home before I did and made my way to my truck, making sure not to fall on my ass like I did earlier on this week. Believe me when I say that that shit was not pretty. At all.

I finally got to the store, taking a bit longer than usual and started walking through the aisles in search for my ingredients, when I bumped into a solid and unfortunately familiar human wall with a loud_ ooof._

I didn't have to look up to know who it was.

"Why don't you watch where you're going?" I seethed at the annoying human wall in front of me.

"Whoa there Bella, steady on." Ew get your hands off me this instant, you dirty sonofabitch! I thought, to myself as I quickly shrugged out of his grasp. "And besides, I'm pretty sure it was you that bumped into me, looks like things never change." He said in an annoyingly smug tone. Did I mention how much he aggravates me to no end. I fucking hate the awkward bumping into the ex thing, which in my case just _had _to be in the literal sense, Forks is too much of a fucking small town. I need to get out of here as soon as I graduate!

I managed to manoeuvre my way around him and quickly tried to rush off, that was until I felt his dirty paws grab onto my wrist really fucking unnecessarily tight.

"If you'll excuse me, I really don't have any fucking time to speak to you, so if you will kindly let the fuck go." I made motion to yank my arm away but he just pulled me to him closer, we were almost nose to nose, we were that close. I had to fight off the urge to vomit. What the fuck was wrong with me? How could I ever have gone out with him? Oh yeah that's right, I was a naïve little 14 year old.

"Don't be difficult, I just wanna catch up you know? It's been a while." He said a bit calmer, easing the pressure off my wrist some.

"Yeah, Well I have nothing left to say to you, and if I can recall my dad told you never to step foot near me again." I yanked my arm harder this time and successfully got out of his hold. Jesus! Was this guy never going to learn or leave me alone? Sometimes I was so afraid that something would just snap inside of him and he would harm me in some way. I seriously had nightmares about this shit, especially post break-up and more so after the Halloween incident.

I was so pissed off I couldn't even fucking continue shopping, I just walked out and put my empty basket back, making it over to my truck in record time for Bella Swan during winter. As I was starting up the engine I caught sight of that asshole jumping into the driver's seat of a car I hadn't seen before. Huh, asshole must have gotten a new car from Billy or something. I made a mental note to go see him Sue, Leah and Seth soon. It's been a while since I've stepped foot in La Push. I may hate his demon spawn, but Billy is a nice man.

I looked at him in a manner of disgust as he revved his engine, which was totally uncalled for because let me tell you, no one was paying attention to the cocky sonofabitch's shit box. He had the audacity to wink in my direction as he drove passed me and sped off. Crazy sonofabitch, was he asking for a death wish or something? He had turned my day straight back to shite. I didn't need to bump into him today. God how I fucking loathe him! I had to take a breather before I made my way back home, because there was no way I was driving in my current mood.

When I was sure I had calmed my nerves down as best as I could, I drove slowly back home. As I was coming up to the familiar intersection that turned off to go either home if you took a right or head down La Push if you took a left I was met with uncharacteristic traffic. Forks rarely has traffic. This was strange, I suppose the Christmas shopping frenzy must've reached here too or possibly the icy roads had something to do with this. I waited patiently as traffic controllers were directing us, while simultaneously listening to the festive songs the local radio station was playing. I was finally able to drive up to the intersection and took note that an accident had taken place. As I glanced to the scene in front of me, it was much more serious than I thought, judging from all of the glass on the road and that the car was in a pretty bad shape, the front was smashed in. It was then that it registered in my head that I had just seen this vehicle a couple of minutes ago. Cursing it even. As I surveyed the rest of the scene I got that sick feeling in my stomach when I realised I also knew the other car involved. I barely registered that my breathing was becoming much more laboured and that dad's co-worker Jerry who was acting as the traffic controller was knocking on my window before I blacked out and hit my head on the steering wheel.

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** Thanks for reading! I hope it was ok :S**

**That stuff about Bella having nightmares about her ex and all those fears are just one of the stresses in my reality. I think I've been projecting my ex onto Jacob's character. Anyway... anyone have any horror stories about their ex partners to share?  
**

**I've posted a link for Bella's outfit and a mood board of sorts in regards to her character for this chapter on my profile. Please do check it out it's pretty.**

**Reviews would be much appreciated :)**

**Thanks again for reading x**


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: S. Meyer owns **_**Twilight**_** and its characters.**

**Apologies for the delay. I had started writing this chapter at the end of last year, then the festive season, a month long trip overseas, a stalking ex-boyfriend, a death, health issues and the start of my final year at university happened. To be honest I just didn't have it in me to write again. I really felt like giving up on this, but I'm back! Hope you all enjoy this, and that it meets your expectations. Sorry again for taking so long to come back!**

**Chapter song is 'Never Say Never' – The Fray**

**Cheers x**

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**Ch 23 Collide**

**EPOV**

I'm kind of wishing right now that mom didn't make me leave my idea of a perfect day, that perfection being the comfort of a warm bed and spooning Bella so early in favour of running an errand for her all the way in Port Angeles. Especially now that the shops will be so fucking packed with last minute shoppers plus it was fucking freezing out. I had asked Bells if she wanted to come with but she insisted that she needed to wrap her gifts today before she had no other opportunity to do so. Mom promised that it would be an in and out job since all I had to do was pick up a few things she had ordered from that baby store she, Bella and Rose loved so much. I'm guessing they were Scarlett's presents, and man there were a lot of packages! When I walked into the moderately filled store and asked for Esme Cullen's order, it looked like mom shopped for more than one kid, like a whole army - well you know what I mean. Certainly all of this can't just be for one baby. Scarlett being the first grandbaby of hers made all the more sense I guess, but seriously there were like six rather large bags and two boxes, which I assumed were filled with tiny shoes. I didn't see the point of buying so much shit when kids grow so fucking fast, you'd have to keep on buying them new shit all the time, but what would I know? I feel so sorry for Em and Rose having to buy so many things. I wonder what I would be like when I finally have kids of my own. I can picture myself freaking the fuck out and Bella would have to do everything since I'd be completely incompetent.

_Whoa… _back the fuck up. Did I really just imagine myself having kids with Bella? Jesus, I'm really starting to believe that I'm growing a set of ovaries and a vagina right now. Talk about clucky. I thought that shit only happened to chicks. Although, really thinking about it they'd be really fucking cute, especially if we had a little girl with her chocolate brown eyes and curls. Fuck me, I'm getting way ahead of myself. I need to make her my girlfriend first before I start entertaining any thoughts along those lines.

I was so lost in my inner ramblings that I hadn't even realised I was basically just gawking at the sales assistant who was asking me if I was good to go, or if I needed assistance with the shitload mom bought.

Pffft, me need help? Real men don't ask for help! Ah, who the fuck am I kidding this shit would need two trips to get it all in the car, luckily I managed to find parking near by.

"No it's okay, I'll just take it in two trips. Thanks anyway." I gave her a small smile and a nod. Wanting to make my getaway ASAP.

"Just let me know if you need anything at all." Chick was totally flirting with me. She was anything _but_ subtle. Yeah lady, don't think I missed you brushing my arm or batting your eyelashes at me. I wouldn't be surprised if I found her number in there somewhere. I'd have to check once I got this first load in the car.

After going for the last trip and securing everything in the boot _and_ tossing obvious shop assistant's number in the trash can I finally made my way back home to Forks. I couldn't wait to get home and make a start on the get-Bella-to-be-my-girlfriend plan. I spent the whole ride home thinking about whether I should just bring up the subject straight up or leave hints here and there as not to ambush her, since she kind of has the tendency to over think and and over analyse the fuck out of everything. I was definitely more than anxious to get home and see her beautiful face, because fuck it if I didn't realise right then and there that anywhere with Bella by my side was home. Fuck. I'm pussy whipped. I haven't even had said pussy in the biblical sense and I'm already willing to do anything for her. Not that I'm one of those dicks that think sex is the be-all and end-all.

I was determined that I was going to make an '_us' _happen. I was so glad to be entering Forks, ready to get my plan into action, smiling like the biggest, happiest god damned idiot on the planet. I definitely didn't expect that feeling to become the polar opposite once I was met with the oncoming scene. I never saw _this_ coming at all. A definite _'Oh shit!'_ moment. It was like I was watching a horror movie right before me going in slow motion. Unfortunately there was no remote to press stop, to pause or to do what I really wanted – to rewind the scene and start again, recording over it with something better; anything, God _anything _but this.

**BPOV**

I was vaguely aware that I was lying down rather than sitting at the driver's seat of my truck. My head was feeling fuzzy and I started to panic, my heartbeat accelerating. I was hoping to God that when I opened my eyes that I would be lying in my bed, waking up from some horrid nightmare. Once I got them opened I was aware that the stark white room was definitely not my bedroom and was accosted by the smell of antiseptic that one could only associate with being at the hospital. And that beeping noise was some sort of monitor confirming my accelerating heartbeat. I also took note that a warm hand was holding mine firmly. Right now it felt like the only thing that was keeping me grounded. I tried to speak up but nothing came out. My throat was raspy and felt incredibly raw.

"Esme." My throat was in so much pain, it came out like a broken whisper. I wasn't even sure she would hear me.

"Shhh. Honey don't try to speak. Try and calm down sweetie, I'm right here. You're going to be okay." She was stroking my hair lovingly and offered me a drink of water, which I was grateful for.

"What happened?" I kind of remember what happened but right now I couldn't trust myself. I needed to hear someone else tell me.

"Maybe we should wait a bit till we go through everything honey, you're in shock and I don't want to exacerbate the situation."

"No! Esme I need to hear it. I need you to tell me. Where is everyone? Where are my parents? Where's Edward? Esme please." I begged. I couldn't stop the tears from falling. It was only then that I got a good look at her. She looked as though she had been crying, and by the looks of it was going to start crying again. Shit.

"I'm sorry. I… I just want to know." I told her looking apologetically in her direction.

"I know honey. I know." She clung to my hand a bit tighter and I felt comforted and safe.

"There was an accident." She began. I remember that part. "As you know the roads were pretty slick outside because of all the ice, and speeding cars and slick roads always has the potential to lead to an accident…"

"Esme please just tell me straight up, please! Enough with the stalling."

"Honey just calm down okay? I promise to tell you but this is just so hard for me to say. Maybe I should get Carlisle to tell you. I don't think I can do this." She started crying and I instantly felt like shit. I felt dread in the pit of my stomach. I just knew that something terrible happened.

"Please Esme, I want you to tell me. You're here with me now." After what felt like hours she finally composed herself and picked up where she left off.

"Bella, Jacob Black was way over the speed limit and obviously not paying great attention to the road and well… he collided with another vehicle… honey it was your parents car. They were on their way home from Port Angeles. Your father is getting treated for shock and some cuts and bruises but you know him, he can't step out of his role as the Chief that's why I'm here instead of him. He insists on doing something, anything. Your dad is speaking to the other officers right now. I'll let him know you're awake. But your mom… honey they had to operate on her, and sadly I don't have any updates on your mom's condition, I would tell you if I knew." I could sense some hesitation in her voice as she said this, but she recovered quickly. She knows something and I know she's leaving that piece of information out.

"And as for Edward, I've just convinced him to go home to at least get you some things and a change of clothes for himself since he insists on staying by your side. I had to physically force him to leave. I guess I should call him now since he begged me to let him know as soon as you woke up. There's also a waiting room full of people that want to see you." Hours? How long have I been here?

"How long have I been out? I've missed out on hours?"

"You've been out a good few hours honey, they had to sedate you. You were just… screaming so much… you had a panic attack. Honey they had to do what was best for you at the time." I guess that explains the sore throat.

"I want my daddy." I felt like such a little girl right now. I needed my daddy; I needed him to tell me everything would be okay. I couldn't stop the deluge of tears that came. After a kiss on my forehead she made her way to fulfil my request.

As soon as Esme left I couldn't stop the sobs that wracked my body. I didn't think I could ever hate Jacob any more than I already did. I didn't think I had enough hatred for him left in me. But this - this just took the cake. If anything happened to my mom I wanted him to pay.

EPOV

Fuck! The sound of the collision was excruciating. I can't believe I just witnessed what I saw. It all unravelled in slow motion well in my mind it seemed that way, when really it only took seconds, just seconds to alter people's lives. At that moment I wished I had superhuman powers, so I could run out and stop the accident from happening. I wish I could've ran in between the two cars, stop each of them with my hands to prevent them from colliding. If only I could do something. But I couldn't. It was done. What I saw terrified me. All I could think about was Bella, but now for entirely different reasons. She would need me now more than ever.

I was maybe 20 metres behind what I noticed was the Swan's family car when I saw them turn onto the road that would lead them to Forks when the speeding car ploughed the passenger side front on. The impact caused a sickening sound, a thunder like boom followed by the unmistakeable screech of tires and glass shattering everywhere. I watched stock still, hands gripping tightly to my steering wheel as I saw Charlie and Renee veer onto the grass by the side of the road, thankfully just missing the telegraph pole coming to a halt as the momentum of the impact subsided. I tried not to speed because the roads were so slick but I just had to get to Charlie and Renee as fast as I could. As soon as I got to a safe enough distance I shot out of my car, cell phone already dialling 911. The road thankfully wasn't as busy as I had expected but a group of bystanders started to gather, and by the time the emergency services had arrived traffic had started to build up. This was probably one of the only times I was grateful that Forks was such a small town. The police and ambulance didn't have to travel far to get to the accident. I called both my parents as soon as I could. I needed mom to get to Bella before the police could. She would be so frightened if they came knocking. As soon as that thought left me I heard a high pitch wailing sound coming from down the road, near where Officer Jerry was doing traffic control. It was then that I noticed two things, one: the screaming came from Bella's truck which meant she could see the aftermath of the accident and two: the other car involved had been driven by Jacob fucking Black since the paramedics were hauling him on a stretcher towards one of the ambulances. Son of a bitch! If his stupid fucking carelessness didn't kill him, I sure as hell was going to finish the job for him. Fucking prick. I was glad I stopped myself from lunging at him because all I could think of was Bella, so I ran to her. I ran to the girl who is my whole life.

By the time I made the short distance to her car she was already slumped over the wheel and Officer Jerry was by her door, ready to yank it open. Once he had it open I made a move for Bella, grabbing her in my arms despite the officer's protests.

"Look sir, she needs me right now. I don't want her to wake up and be disoriented around people she doesn't know. They're her fucking parents in that car." I said angrily, trying to keep my cool as best as I could.

"Listen son, you need to calm down. I understand where you're coming from but you need to let us handle the situation. I'm sure the Chief would want her to be looked at by professionals." He said looking at me sternly.

I agreed and stood back while someone from the medical team rushed to take a look at her. I didn't want to look at her parent's car because I was fucking scared of what I might see. The fire department was hurriedly working their way to get Renee out of the car. Oh God I need to throw up. What if they didn't make it? They've been like a second set of parents to me all these years. We can't lose them. That isn't an option.

Bella finally came to. She was immensely disoriented, shaking and couldn't stop screaming in between her choking for breaths. I pushed my way through the paramedics and held onto her despite their protests, whispering calming words and reassurances in her ears enough to try and calm her down. If only it could have the same affect on me. I was anything but calm on the inside, but she couldn't know this. I had to be strong for her. This was working for a while up until she heard the loud metal grating of the Jaws of Life as they finally freed Renee from the wreckage. One look and her panic attack resumed ten fold, it was so bad that they had to sedate my girl. And I couldn't do anything but hold her as her world turned to black once again.

I rode with her to the hospital, never letting go of her delicate hand, I stayed with her in the room they placed her in and didn't let go of her hand until mom practically forced me out so I could go home to grab Bella and I some things.

"Edward I'm sure Bella will be fine, they'll release her as soon as she feels up to it, but I know for a fact she won't leave the hospital tonight unless her mom or dad will. So I think you should just pack an overnight bag for the _both_ of you."

I eventually agreed, not once leaving my eyes from my beautiful girl's face. "Just make sure you call me as soon as she gets up. I won't be long mom." I brought Bella's hand to my lips and kissed her softly, then made my way towards the door, before I stopped and realised I left my car where the accident had taken place in favour of riding with Bella in the ambulance. I even left my keys inside in my haste.

"Shit. Mom I don't have my car with me. Could I borrow yours?"

"Language Edward! And your car is here, I had Alice and Jasper pick it up and drive it over, they're waiting outside with the keys."

I sighed in relief. "Thanks mom, you think of everything." I kissed her cheek and made my way to the waiting area where I was met with an anxious Alice wearing the lino out with her pacing, a cool and collected Jasper sitting on one of the uncomfortable blue plastic chairs leaning his head against the wall, James and Vicky distributing coffees to Leah, Seth and Emmett; while Rose tended to a sleepy Scarlett. I wonder when they got here?

I didn't have time to chat and I guess Alice and her freakishly psychic senses knew this as she just held my keys out in front of her and said, "Go". I didn't have to be told twice.

When I had a small duffle bag filled with a few things for Bella and I, I made my way back to the hospital. Where my other half was in such a precarious situation. I chided myself for not knowing the status of Charlie and Renee. All I knew was that Charlie was fine, only suffering from a few cuts and bruises, but Renee on the other hand was still to be determined. She was a lot worse off than her husband.

While I was parking the Volvo, mom called to say that Bells had finally woken up. This made me rush towards her faster than I thought possible. Running past my friends and family in the waiting room in similar positions I had let them in minutes before.

I ran to her, passing my mother as she made her way to the waiting room. I heard her sobs before I reached my beautiful girl. I rushed to her side and enveloped her in my arms.

"Don't let me go."

"I won't sweetheart. I'm right here." I gave her our three and lingered just a bit longer as my lips met hers. After I pulled away and brushed my fingers gently on her cheeks Charlie's throat clearing pulled us back into reality. He rushed to Bella and grabbed her other hand, pulling the other chair by her side.

"Daddy." Bella's voice was so small, she sounded like that little girl I grew up with all those years ago. "You're hurt." She rasped out as she touched the bandages on his face.

"Nothing I can't handle Pumpkin." Charlie replied, his tone was a far cry from his normal no nonsense voice of authority. Right now he was her dad, nothing more. I was very aware that I was intruding some private moment between the two. I was about to tell them I would give them some privacy when Charlie said he needed to talk to Bella about her mother. I couldn't help but think 'Oh God, this is it. This is the bad news.' Bella grabbed my hand tighter and told me with her chocolate coloured eyes to stay.

"Bells, your mom is okay thank God, she has a broken arm and a lot of bruising and cuts, but baby… your mom…" Charlie was really choking up. I've never seen the Chief like this ever! But I thought he said Renee was okay and that it was nothing serious. I don't understand, I guess neither did Bella.

"What is it dad? You don't have to be upset, mom's doing okay, you just said so yourself." She tried to put his mind at ease, only that just burst the dam wide open. "Daddy I don't understand."

"Pumpkin… your mom and I… we were… we were hoping to tell you this on Christmas, to surprise you…"

"Daddy what does this have to do with Christmas? Are you sure you're feeling okay? I can get a nurse for you if you like? Maybe Edward can do that?" She looked up at me and I agreed about to get out of my seat once again when Charlie stopped the both of us with the words that came out of his mouth.

"Your mom and I were expecting a baby brother or sister for you. Your mom is… _was… _pregnant. She was pregnant. It was going to be our big surprise for you on Christmas. She just passed her 13 weeks last week. She was so excited… Bella we were so excited. Now the baby's gone. The impact of the accident was too much. I'm so sorry baby. I'm so sorry."

The Chief broke down and Bella hugged him so hard, never letting him go. Deep down I knew that Charlie was apologizing to both of his children, both of his babies. I couldn't do anything but just take everything in and shed tears of sympathy right alongside them. Renee and Charlie lost a child; Bella lost a sibling she would never know. My heart was breaking for them. I can't believe it only took seconds to alter our lives today.

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**AN: Thanks again for reading! **

**Also, what should I do about Jacob? :S  
**

**Edward gives you three xxx**


	24. Just A Teaser of Chapter 24

**AN: S. Meyer still owns __****Twilight**** and its characters.**

**Hey guys! I bet you're all thinking 'WTF!, where has she gone?' I've just started writing again guys from a long break and know that I'm really sorry I'm so sporadic with my updates. Just know that I'm not a quitter! Anywho, offering up a little peace offering by way of a teaser for the chapter that is yet to come.**

**(Also, please read my AN after this, got some exciting news to share with you all!)**

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**Chapter 24 teaser...**

As soon as I've got Bella seated in my passenger seat, I walk to the driver's side but not before noticing the fucking bastard who caused all of this shit in the first place make his way outside of the hospital. I tell Bella that I've forgotten my jacket inside and that I'll be back before she knows I'm even missing. Then I make my way over to Black who is flanked by the guys he had with him on Halloween.

When I see him all I see and feel is pure rage. Pure _fucking_ rage. He's able to walk out on his two goddamn feet, barely affected by the accident apart from the arm in a sling and a bandaged forehead. Unfuckingbelievable!

He spots me and the other guys have become more alert and apprehensive of the situation. Black signals to them that the situation is okay I suppose because they walk over to their car while Black moves to a more quiet area of the parking lot. He knows what's coming to him. I'm onto him so fast he doesn't even have time to block my first punch.

I hit his face first, really fucking hard I feel bones crunch on bone and it feels amazing. He knows he's fucked up big time because he doesn't fight back. In any other case I would just stop right there, because it's not as satisfying when they don't fight back, but I just need to let my pent up frustration out on the bastard. I aim to give him a black eye or two maybe even a broken nose on top of that, but definitely a busted lip is in order; and for good measure hit him where it really hurts on his injured arm. Low blow I know but you can't expect me not to do it right? By the time I'm done with him his injuries look more appropriate, well appropriate enough without killing him which I fucking want to do so bad. We don't say anything to each other, not even a 'fuck you' because he doesn't deserve any words, not even those. I just walk away, back to my girl. Like a boss.

She's already fallen asleep by the time I get back to her and remains in the same state by the time I pull up to my driveway. I carry her to my room and can't help but wince as it feels as though I've definitely broken my right hand. It was so fucking worth it though and I would gladly endure the pain if it means I won't drop the sleeping beauty in my hold.

She woke for a bit just so I could help her into my shirt and brush her teeth but then she fell right back asleep in my arms as I lay next to her. The poor thing was exhausted. We all were.

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**AN: I know that was tiny, but I've got the bulk of it written already.**

**Also, just letting you know I've just set up a blog for all my links, rants, updates and the like to make everything easier for you guys. You can find it at:**

**www(dot)monochromicff(dot)tumblr(dot)com - feel free to follow me if you're a fellow tumblr owner and come and say hi :)  
**

**Also, if you're interested I've started writing another story called _Twenty-Something Kind Of Life_, so if you like what you've been reading here so far hopefully you'll love this story too if you give it a go!** **I promise you won't be disappointed!**

**That's all for now. Thanks so much for reading! Feedback? Things you're hoping for in the rest of it? You know what to do ;)**

**Thanks for being patient to anyone who is still here with me :)  
**

**- Lia xxx**


	25. Chapter 24

**AN: S. Meyer still owns __****Twilight**** and its characters.**

**Here it is! I won't keep you so enjoy the read! But before I let you go I'd like to thank _colourfulfan _for the encouragement and I hope you enjoy this.  
**

**Chapter song - The Suburbs - Mr. Little Jeans (Arcade Fire cover) have it on repeat you'll know when ;)  
**

**x**

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**Ch 24 New Year, New Beggining**

**BPOV**

When daddy told me the news I didn't know exactly what I was feeling apart from grief. This intense grief that just wouldn't leave me. I couldn't even begin to imagine what my mom must be going through. I kind of figured out that my mom being in the operating theatre wasn't just for her broken arm; that thought just caused me to cry even more. Thankfully Edward hadn't left my side at all tonight. I was free to leave the hospital bed that I was placed on in favour of the plastic waiting chairs with everyone else, which I much preferred.

Up until this point, I have never seen my dad cry. He's a tough guy, real stoic. The kind of man that gets to his position in work by being so and it pained me to no end to see him break down in front of me like he did earlier. I never want to see him like that ever. I know for sure it will take a while for our family to heal and to get to a point that could even come close to how we were just yesterday before all of this shit happened. So much can fucking happen in the blink of an eye. This statement could not be any truer than right at this moment.

I knew that somewhere in this fucking hospital was the stupid fucking goddamn asshole who was responsible for all this. I was too distraught right now to even think about him. He doesn't deserve even a single thought from me. I would deal with all that shit later.

"Sweetheart are you hungry? You haven't eaten anything since you've woken up and that was a while ago." Edward asks as he strokes my hair gently and kisses me on my forehead.

"I'm fine." I tell him, even though it's a straight up lie. "I mean… I'm not hungry right now. Maybe a bit later."

Carlisle thankfully approaches us and tells me that my mom is in a private room right now but doesn't wish to see anyone but my dad. Not even me. I'm old enough not to be hurt by this because really, everybody deals differently. Besides, my parents need the time alone. There's no sense in us waiting around anymore so I suggest we all just head home, to which Esme agrees would be best.

"Honey I think it's best if you stay with us for tonight at least. I don't want you going home to an empty house. Just ride with Edward, I've had Jasper and Alice pick up your truck so it will be there waiting for you." Esme tells me as she kisses my cheek lightly and hugs me the way only a mother knows how.

**EPOV**

As soon as I have Bella seated in my passenger seat, I walk to the driver's side but not before noticing the fucking bastard who caused all of this shit in the first place make his way outside of the hospital. I tell Bella that I've forgotten my jacket inside and that I'll be back before she knows I'm even missing. Then I make my way over to Black who is flanked by the guys he had with him on Halloween.

When I see him all I see and feel is pure rage. Pure _fucking_ rage. He's able to walk out on his two goddamn feet, barely affected by the accident apart from the arm in a sling and a bandaged forehead. Unfuckingbelievable!

He spots me and the other guys have become more alert and apprehensive of the situation. Black signals to them that the situation is okay I suppose because they walk over to their car while Black moves to a more quiet area of the parking lot. He knows what's coming to him. I'm onto him so fast he doesn't even have time to block my first punch.

I hit his face first, really fucking hard I feel bones crunch on bone and it feels amazing. He knows he's fucked up big time because he doesn't fight back. In any other case I would just stop right there, because it's not as satisfying when they don't fight back, but I just need to let my pent up frustration out on the bastard. I aim to give him a black eye or two maybe even a broken nose on top of that, but definitely a busted lip is in order; and for good measure hit him where it really hurts on his injured arm. Low blow I know but you can't expect me not to do it right? By the time I'm done with him his injuries look more appropriate, well appropriate enough without killing him which I fucking want to do so bad. We don't say anything to each other, not even a 'fuck you' because he doesn't deserve any words, not even those. I just walk away, back to my girl. Like a boss.

She's already fallen asleep by the time I get back to her and remains in the same state by the time I pull up to my driveway. I carry her to my room and can't help but wince as it feels as though I've definitely broken my right hand. It was so fucking worth it though and I would gladly endure the pain if it means I won't drop the sleeping beauty in my hold.

She woke for a bit just so I could help her into my shirt and brush her teeth but then she fell right back asleep in my arms as I lay next to her. The poor thing was exhausted. We all were.

x-x-x

Christmas came and went. It was officially one of the more sombre ones I've experienced as we didn't really celebrate it to the fullest this year. Gifts were opened but not really enjoyed to the capacity they should; there just wasn't much joy or enthusiasm to distribute this time around. Instead, our family, the Swan's included had a quiet dinner together and had a small but beautiful ceremony for the child that Renee and Charlie had lost, which brought everyone an assortment of emotions to deal with. Emmett and Rose thought it best to spend this day with Rose's family for obvious reasons. We didn't know how Renee would react to having Scarlett around, as she still understandably hadn't fully let all of her grief out. She cried in private but hadn't spoken about anything. My mom was constantly with her helping her out but she didn't even open up to her, her best friend.

Bella stayed over more regularly and my parents didn't have the heart to enforce the rules on us. I would've put up a damn good fight had they done so and they knew it.

It all started the night after her mom was back home from the hospital. It was around 2 in the morning when I felt Bella slide up against me in my sleep. I woke up groggily and curious as to why she was suddenly there. She just shrugged and told me she could hear her mom crying, she tried to comfort her but was sent away. Rather than go back to bed she decided to come to me. I just held her closer and kissed her our three.

x-x-x

Charlie and the FPD dealt with Jacob accordingly. I can still remember when Charlie had stopped by one morning before I was headed over to their house to tell me the news.

"_I see you socked that little fucker up pretty good, noticed some new bandages and splints on him. Oh he's definitely hurting, could barely breathe, speak or see what with his broken nose, jaw; cracked ribs and swollen eyes." He said as he gave me a pat on the back and let out a low whistle. "If I wasn't a man of the law I'd teach that little shit a thing or two with my fists and make him shit his pants or something. What I wouldn't give to hit that cocksucker. I don't care how old he is. Hell I'm just sorry you broke your hand 'cause of it. Dipshit wrecks everything he touches so it seems. But if I ever see his fucking face around here it won't stop me from abusing him verbally because shit that's the least I can do legally." There was a definite fire in his eyes. Charlie Swan wasn't someone you'd ever wanna fuck with. Ever. He didn't strike me as the type of man who's all bark and no bite, oh he definitely had bite._

"_Yeah well I'd do it over and over again if I had to. Trust me Charlie I was just going lightly on the sonofabitch. I just didn't want you to bust my ass if I ended up killing him or something." That earned me another pat on the back._

"_Listen son, I was just letting you know that we've dealt with him accordingly. Hell I'd say it's pretty light considering but I'm biased on the matter obviously." He said with a bitter look on his face. "Asshole has had his license suspended until he's 21, and has to do 200 hours of community service, has to attend safe driving courses for a year as well as pay for the accident he caused. That'll teach him to fucking speed on icy roads again the stupid shit." Then he looked down and swallowed hard. "All that shit won't make anything better though. I still lost my baby and Bella's losing her mother."_

_He was right. None of that could bring baby Swan back and Renee still wasn't the same. _

"_I'd uh… also like to thank-you for being there for my baby girl." He adds awkwardly. "You're a good boy Edward, but son I swear to God do not fuck with her." I looked at him with what could only be described as pure confusion and fear for my balls in the event he had indeed caught me in any sort of compromising position with his daughter, because no matter what the stupid shits at my school say, oral is still considered a form of sex. Pay attention to fucking Sex-Ed fuckers!_

"_Don't look so surprised son, I've seen you two, heck everyone saw the way you were with each other even before the hospital. I can see that you love her and I'm cool with that, but break her heart and I'll fuck you up. I don't give a flying fuck if you're my best friend's kid. You know I will straight up fuck you up so you better have good intentions towards my girl." I just look at him and nod my head._

"_Of course not." I tell him honestly then add. "I love her." Please don't hit me!_

"_I know you do, but does she know that?" I shook my head, a bit scared I was about to get fucked up. "Well you better man up and tell her soon son."_

_He was right though. Charlie Swan is always right so it seems._

x-x-x

"Honey are you sure you don't want to join us at your brother's in Seattle for the countdown?" Mom asks me for what seems like the 100th time in the last couple of hours.

"I'm sure mom, 100%. You guys just go ahead and have fun. Bells and I are just gonna watch a couple of movies and watch the Ball Drop on the flat screen." I tell her from where I am perched at the kitchen bench eating a packet of chips.

"Well if you're sure. You know you can follow us if you change your mind. You can even bring Bella along if she wants to." I just roll my eyes at her while she flicks my ear then takes her bag to the car where my dad has been waiting for her for the past 15 minutes.

"Have fun mom, Tell Rose, Em and Scarlett I said hey."

"Will do hon, I'll call you later to wish you a happy new year." Then she's off.

Yeah you heard me, I skipped out on a family event so I could be with my girl. I was hoping I'd get to be her first kiss to start the New Year off. Cheesy I know, fucking sue me. My girl needed some cheer in her life. Her parents weren't even home and she was practically living here, she'd only go back to her house to take a shower, where she happened to be right now. Charlie was on duty tonight which was no surprise and Renee had left for Phoenix two days ago to be with family. She really wasn't coping, it was no secret and everybody knew it. We just didn't know how to help her without pretty much being told a big 'fuck you', of course not in those exact words.

I went up to my room and got the sparklers ready for midnight by placing them on the small table outside my balcony where I kept my ashtray and lighter. That was as festive as it was gonna get tonight unfortunately, not that I nor Bella minded.

When I stepped back into my room, I found that Bella was already lying down on her side of the bed, head propped up by two big fluffy pillows as she flicked through channels.

"Why do they always feel the need to put retrospective specials on this time of the year?" She said as she looked quite bored with the selection on TV.

"Well probably because people like looking back on the year through music, or shitty countdowns of events, you know how it is." Shrugging my shoulders.

"I suppose. It's probably all shit anyway, since this year was pretty fucked up. I can't wait till it's over!" Bella groaned as she hid her face under her arm.

"Tell me about it." I walked over to where she was and plopped myself onto my half of the bed.

We eventually decided to watch _Sleepless in Seattle_ at Bella's request because it was a whole lot of 90's cheese that she was craving for. Seriously that shit is fucked up because that Jonah kid went all the way to fucking New York by himself. If I attempted that shit when I was that age my mom would fuck me up in front of anyone and everyone. She wouldn't leave that shit for behind closed doors. I swear that kid probably got a good whack when he and his dad got back to the hotel after they met up with Annie, they just didn't show that shit. It was probably a deleted scene or an easter egg on the digitally re-mastered DVD. I told Bella this, earning me a playful slap for my cynicism.

x-x-x

It's close to midnight and we have the TV on ready to witness the Times Square Ball Drop like we usually do.

"Hopefully this time next year I'll be seeing that in person." Bella says in a faraway voice as she tilts her head towards the image on the screen, causing my chest to tighten. Although, I was happy for her to go and do whatever she desired I couldn't help but feel sad that I'd have to let her go do her own thing. We both had paths we were already set to travel on post high school; except now I didn't know if I was on the right one anymore.

"Maybe I'll be there with you." I told her.

"You'd do that? You'd come and visit me for new years in New York, granted I get in to design school. But you'd do that?" She asked with hope in her big brown eyes. _I'd do anything for you…_ I tried telling her with a look, but thought to voice it out. Test the waters. It could all backfire on me. Here I go.

"Of course I would." Then I added the all-important words. "You know I'd do anything for you… I love you Bella. I always have."

She just smiles at me and says "I know." Then continues to watch the TV.

She doesn't get what I'm tying to say. Fuck. This is not the platonic love she's thinking of.

"No, I mean _I love you_. " She's looking at me weird, searching my face for I don't know what, mouth open about to say something but I cut her off.

"I mean, I love you because I want to be with you. I love you because I want to be the only guy in your life… I love you because you're in my first and last thought I have when I wake up in the morning and go to sleep at night. I love you because you're my muse and when I'm near you I feel music." Right now I'm just spilling anything and everything I feel for her. I'm probably making no sense at all. Her mouth closes and I've shocked her into silence but I'm not done yet. I move closer to her and cup her face in my hand.

"Bella… I love you because you're the only one that's meant for me. I know all of this because I can feel it _here_." I take her hand and put it on my chest against my heart. She can feel how rapidly it's beating at this very moment. It's threatening to come out of my chest at any moment now.

**BPOV**

I am literally shocked into silence. I'm vaguely aware that they've already started counting down to the New Year in the background along with the ever-present music playing softly. My hand is on Edward's chest and it feels identical to how my heart feels inside my own. His words, this moment, everything; this is what I wanted right? God why can't I get any words out?

_5_

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_4_

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_3_

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_2_

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_1_

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_._

Fuck it. I just grab his face and kiss him hard. It only takes him a second to respond to my kiss. There is nothing gentle about this. It's messy, hurried but most of all passionate. His tongue licks my bottom lip slightly, silently asking me to open up for him. I answer him by opening my mouth to accommodate the welcome intrusion and tilt my head to the side as he enters deeper. His hand slides my hair to the other shoulder so he can have access to my pulse point as he gently sucks on it causing me to moan really fucking loudly, while the other hand works it's way down to my ass; the other one soon follows.

I take this as my cue to use his shoulders as leverage to hoist myself up and wrap my legs tightly around his torso. Brushing against his very prominent hard-on, causing Edward to let out a feral groan that is so sexy I can't help but seek friction and grind shamelessly on him as we continue to kiss. The moment is so intense I need to take a couple of deep breaths as Edward walks backwards to his bed and sits on the edge of it as I straddle him.

All reason comes back and I cup his face and tell him the words I know he wants to hear before I clouded our minds with lust.

Here goes nothing.

"I love you." Just the three words, not an 'I love you _too_' because he might feel like I'm just saying it back because he opened his heart to me. He knows that I mean it the exact same way as he loves me. Nothing platonic present.

"Say it again." He tells me, his lust-darkened eyes look at me so intensely. "Say it. Out loud."

"_I love_ _you_." That seems to flip some switch inside this gorgeous boy's mind below me because he stands up, with me still in his hold; moves so fast that I'm now lying on my back on his bed with his body between my legs. But I also notice there's a hint of hesitation in those beautiful eyes.

I know him so well that I need to let him know it's okay and I want this. I want him.

I sit up and he moves back a bit, ready to jump ship and abort the moment I tell him 'I don't want to do this.' But I'm not gonna do that. Not tonight.

"I want you." I say as I bite my lip causing him to softly groan. I take my top off and throw it to the floor.

"Baby…" He says simply.

"I want you." I reiterate once more because now he's the one stunned into silence. It's not like he hasn't seen me like this before, but I understand. This time is different.

"You're sure?" He asks me just once.

"I'm sure."

"Okay."

"Okay."

"Let me just get something." He walks to his chest of drawers and I notice he has a condom in his hand. I can't help but blush as soon as I see it because this is really happening. Let us take a seconds silence to commemorate this monumental moment in our lives. Gee I'm lame at a fucking moment just as this. Shit I'm getting a little nervous here.

He comes back and lies down next to me.

"Sweetheart you know I'll try not to hurt you too much." He's definitely sensed my apprehension.

"I know. Besides, that part is the unavoidable part isn't it?" I say with a half-laugh.

"I'm gonna ask you one more time sweetheart. We d-"

I cut him off because I want to do this.

"Edward. Listen to me. I know what I want."

I've always known him to be a smart person. Good thing he's listening to me now. We resume our foreplay.

I am so wet with arousal right now that any more moisture and I'd be a motherfucking slip-n-slide pretty soon. Jesus the things Edward can do with his mouth, tongue, fingers and all three of those together at once has me seeing God and James Dean and Heath Ledger.

"_Fuck _baby. I love seeing your face like that when you come. Can you feel that?" He says as he brings my hand to his glorious cock. "God, you get me so hard Bella."

"Mmm… yeah I can feel that." I tell him and suddenly I'm like a wanton whore. No not a wonton whore you twit!

"Christ Bella you're so wet. You're so ready for me baby." He tells me as he rolls the condom over his cock. "Just relax baby. I'll be quick and it'll hurt. And I'll always be sorry for causing you pain." He tries to prepare me by rubbing soothing circles on my upper thighs that are currently holding him to me.

"I know." I tell him because shit, his cock is pretty big and I know it's meant to fit in me but really. Jesus it's still bigger than when he's fingered me with three digits. But I'm ready.

Edward resumes kissing me. This time he's gentle. Then he looks at me, gives me our three and makes a homerun. He's so swift I don't have time to tense up at the intrusion, but he stills anyway until the pain subsides and I can adjust to his size. Then he moves and is gentle and attentive. He's just Edward and I'm just Bella and we're just doing this together. Nothing fancy. No hotel rooms, rose petals or scented candles. Just white cotton sheets and a gold coloured comforter in a place we're comfortable in. Just together.

The actual act didn't last long, granted it was both our first times and I didn't come, because lets be real guys that shit just doesn't happen on your first time. Edward and I know this, hence why he made me come before we made it home to the final act; but it was perfect and we both fell asleep knowing that it was just that. Perfect. We fell asleep like spoons, each with thoughts of one another.

To new beginnings.

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**AN: I know, I know, FINALLY right? I hope it was okay and not too cliche with the way it happened. It is the first real Lemon in the biblical sense for me that I've written EVER. I hope it was what you guys expected it to be because I'm pretty happy with it :D  
**

**Do check my blog for music links and visuals. Address on my profile.**

**p.s. sorry if there are mistakes, I pumped this one out quick as an early birthday present to myself/parting gift to you guys for a bit since uni starts (checks clock) today. Don't fret it won't be the last you hear from me!  
**

**- Lia x  
**


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